My mom and dad have been divorced since I was only 4 months old, I am now 18. My dad left my mom with 5 kids in a different state where she had no other family members at all, because he couldn't find a job. I remember when my brothers and sisters, and I wanted to go and visit him, he never once called to ask if we wanted to go down by him. My mom was the one who always had to call my dad and ask. Anyways to get to the point just last year my dad went to the courts and tried to say I wasn't his kid so he could get out of paying child support, when I asked him about it he said he would never do something like to me. I just don't know what to believe. Is he even worth caring about?
2007-02-20 07:08:25 · 22 answers · asked by victoria_lee07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just be thankful that you have a caring mom. Everyone has problems in this world whether they are big or small. Just forget about the past of what your father has done. but DON'T let him make you upset b/c you are stronger than him! He could've done something else besides leave your mom. Just try to ignore what he did, and everything will get better. I promise, I've dealt with the same kind of thing, and I'm only 15. but be brave........... everyone has strengths.
2007-02-20 07:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Courtney♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain.......I just ended a relationship with my biological father b/c I just could not trust him with my feelings and respecting me. I was estranged from my bio father back in 1989 and just started back talking to him b/c I had a son, that was 3 years ago. But I just ended it in Dec 2006 b/c he had not changed. Trust me, men (and women) will say anything to get out of paying support. Your father just maybe an azzhole, like mines....just except that. Far as is he worth caring for........I say NO. BUT if you are going to make the decision to say NO, mean it and move pass all this. Have you ever told him how you feel about everything? If not, please do. Trust me, you will feel alot better. Matter of fact, I sat down and wrote out a letter expressing my feelings to him, sealed it and mailed it out in 2006, just so I could start 2007 without the drama of having him in my life. If you cant talk to him, write him a letter and move pass it. Also, you may looking into seeking some help for yourself.....just for GP....you'd be surprised to find out how much a broken relationship between a father and child can affect your life, relationship, etc........trust me! Good Luck and keep youe head up!
2007-02-20 15:19:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not feel bad about anything. If your Dad chooses to behave in such a childish manner there is nothing you can do about it anyway so don't worry or be too upset. I would just focus on school and myself and my other siblings feelings. Try to be stronger than anyone else and live life to the fullest. You can't change people or their behavior but.. you can manage your own and just give lots of love to Mom and Siblings. Tell Dad you still love him too. Good luck! Forgiving is the best that one can do as a human being. Have faith. :) Smile!!!!
2007-02-20 15:16:29 · answer #3 · answered by courtneyscottusa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad told me not to come back to his house ever again....that was 9 years ago. I havent been back and he lives like 15 mins from my house. He never tried to see us when he left our mom too. And never wanted to pay child support. Of course, he's my dad and I will always respect that, but I dont want to be around someone who doesn't want to be around me. If ur dad went to court to say u werent his to get outta paying child support - he obviously totaly disregarded ur feelings. Of course u were gonna find out and he knew that and instead of taking the heat he said he never did that... dont need those kinda lies or hurtfulness in ur life. I am doing fine without my dad and although Id love 4 it to be different, it isnt. and truthfully I have lost the hope that it does and I really can do without. But I also dont ever want my kids to go through that. I know how it felt to me 9 years ago and I wouldnt want someone to hurt them like that.
2007-02-20 15:17:07 · answer #4 · answered by kizdrop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question, the answer lies in how often you feel he made the attempt to include you in his life.
It's a hard decision to let go of a parent. But is he a parent?. Sounds like your mom was trying to love and protect you from his monumental stupidity.
I'm a father myself and couldn't imagine my life without my children, whether I thought they were "blood" or from another man.
There's a point in time where a parent misses the boat if they fail to love their children the way they should naturally.
I'd say that at this point he needs to "earn" your regard for him.
It's a heavy load you carry. Good luck to you.
2007-02-20 15:24:09 · answer #5 · answered by Avatar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's your Dad, your gonna care about him weather you want to or not.You may be angry with him , and there maybe allot going on you don't know , or maybe Its all clear and he was a jerk who didn't spend time with you...but it all doesn't matter, he's your Dad and if you think its gonna hurt less b/c you say you don't care about him , its not gonna fix the problem. Try talking to him , really talking to him , ask him tough questions about why he didn't spend more time with you. Most important tell him how you feel, that you are hurt and angry, give him a chance with you personally before you make any harsh decisions.
2007-02-20 15:16:35 · answer #6 · answered by EGOman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. I'm sorry, you deserve better.
It sounds like you care inspite of it which isn't unusual.
At this point, now that you're practically an adult you might want to establish a relationship not based on the past. If you continue to think about his past wrongs you won't be able to establish a relationship with him b/c you'll always be asking questions.
The relationship is entirely up to you. Ask yourself....
Who am I in relationship to this person who is my father?
What will be gained by associating with him?
Do you want your future children to know their grandfather?
How will your mother & siblings feel?
My mother's father abandoned her & her brother & denied my uncle, same scenario. My mother saw him later & was cordial. she admitted she was better off having not had him in her childhood as he was rather harsh. She came to terms with who he was but realized she didn't miss anything.
Ultimately it's up to you. Take your time to think it through & realize that whatever you decide it will be right.
2007-02-20 15:20:56 · answer #7 · answered by ♣Hey jude♣ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't stop caring about your dad, he's apart of you whether you like it or not. You can probably go on with your life and not even think about him but he'll always be in the back of your thoughts. Except what comes and let it make you a stronger person.
2007-02-20 15:12:59 · answer #8 · answered by **Red** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're 18 he would be done paying child support anyway. you're an adult. I'm sorry to hear that he made no effort to be in your life during your younger years. hopefully you can get to know him better in your adult life. it sounds like you've only heard one side of the story- from your mother who is of course biased since she was left alone with you kids. see what your dad has to say- get both sides before you decide to hate him.
2007-02-20 15:12:50 · answer #9 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may not be worth caring about but the fact that you have asked says that you probably do. My dad made lots of mistakes but I sure loved him depite them all. Just because you care.....if you do....doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with him. Who knows why he did all he did...If it were me ask him....tell him how all this has made you feel. My dad is dead and my brothers never did forgive him.
2007-02-20 18:00:41 · answer #10 · answered by breezy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋