urgent help...should i forgive this regretful guy?

Question

My boyfriend has always treated me really well and i've always thought i had found one of the best guys,seeing as there is alot of not so nice guys in the world.But we ended up going on a 2 month break,as things werent working and he said he would change.We got back together and we had been happy for nearly 5 months,when he snapped one night.He was swearing and shouting at me,and broke my friend's cupboard in rage.I couldnt believe it was him.Then he cut himself with a penknife.The night before,he tried to stop me from seeing my friend because he's jealous.Now,he has never been more sorry,he started buying me diamond jewellery,etc.He said to my friend he cant go on without me for much longer and has been sending me huge sorry messages.He said he will go to anger management classes to change,and wants another chance.I feel guilty somehow,but i dont understand why he behaved so badly just to be so apologetic.My gut feeling isnt good but,what do you think i should do?Another chance?

Answer 1

Why don't you have him prove how he'll change before you accept him back? There isn't a rush here. Tell him that he needs to work on himself, and then you'll reconsider. But, that you will not reconsider until then.
He can go to therapy, etc, not just classes. He needs to understand how to control his anger and what causes him to be so angry. There are other things going on here besides your relationship with him.
Your gut is right, don't accept him back. Wait it out. You have time.

Answer 2

If he is actually willing to go to anger management that is a definite step in the right direction. I would keep my distance from him while he is going through anger management. Maybe just meet him for lunch or dinner once a week, but nothing more. There needs to be definite progress for you to even consider being with him. If he seems reluctant to go to anger management your weekly date could be you going to the class with him. But until you feel absolutely safe with him and he has his anger problem under control I would always let a friend know when I am with him so that if something should happen you have someone who knows where you are. If he doesn’t change or go to the classes then leave him. But always always always trust your just instinct.

Answer 3

Another Chance? How many is this? I hope not more then 3....3 strikes, your OUT! If you guys are in a relationship, I would seat him down and talk to him. Let him no what you will and will not stand for......including his anger problem. Sounds to me that he ha some issues outside of the relaitonship, like "self" issues. But if he said that he is willing to get help......let him and even help him a little...getting info, etc. Then he will know that you are taking him serious and want him to do better. Now you said that your gut isn't good....well......do you usually follow your gut? But if you seriously, dont want to have a relationship with him, just tell him......Good Luck!

Answer 4

Tell him to go through the classes, you guys can be friends to see if he has changed, but if you see some of the same stuff then your heart will tell you in time if his apology is the real thing or if this problem is everlasting.....

people with anger management need a chance, but if it doesn't change you have to walk away, or you will be in a situation that you will wish you were the one with the chance to get out

Answer 5

This doesn't sound good at all! I think that your gut instinct is right. Why waste your time? You know that you're always going to expect him to lose his mind again (and trust me, he will). It sounds like he needs to deal with his own issues before he can focus on a relationship. The only reason that he is buying nice things for you is because he is desperate to keep you, in fear of being alone. That's from my personal experience anyway. He wants you all to himself which might seem flattering, but it's really nothing to do with you. He just needs to control things to feel better about himself.

Answer 6

well i think if hes gonna control u like that then my answer would b no yeah he may set there n tell u hes gonna change but its not going to happen i should know cause it happen to me n dont believe it when he tells u that hes gonna go to the anger management classes cause thats a lie to if u do decide to take him back u best b careful cause it just mayb u he hurts next time i am just saying so yeah good luck

Answer 7

They say that they never stop acting out in anger and they alwasy say lets go to councelling or I'll get help. But I can say that they can change if it's in them to. Most people don't change. You know deep inside` how this man is and if he will change or if he's stuck in his ways. We always know, but we usually go into denial. Is is possesive? Sounds like it. It could escalate and only get worse if you continue. More dangerous. YOu learn what your taught and you might even start acting out in anger. Is he on something? SOMETHING COULD BE CAUSING HIM to be angry just now or not

Answer 8

Being forgiven is an threat to start up over--the humanist Jesus from the Gnostic Gospels had a humanitarian, sort, and empathetic concept of existence. this isn't comparable to the supernatural mythologies approximately Jesus in the hot testomony. Morality is relative to ones concept of suitable and incorrect.

Answer 9

this guy is a major nut case! stay away, far away. He's showing you that he's not beyond using violence and threats of violence to get his little old way. This guy needs major intervention and I suspect that he will end up serving some hard time in the slammer before too long - don't let yourself be his punching bag.

Answer 10

No way. This guys a timebomb waiting to go off. It's that same question I ask myself everyday. What do women see in guys like this? If you didn't know this side of him before, you know it now and now is the time to say he is no longer my boyfriend. Get rid of him.