if you are getting married and you are not the same religion what then?

Question

how do you decide ?

Answer 1

you talk it over, or have a non denominational ceremony

Answer 2

Are you trying to decide whether the marriage will work? What kind of officiant to marry you? What kind of ceremony to have?

YOU have to decide whether the marriage will work. How will you rear your children. If there is a disagreement, who will decide & how will it be solved?

To find an officiant type into Yahoo your city, state & wedding officiant (no 's' on the end) you should be able to find a few non-denominational/interfaith officiants. Usually on the 2nd page as the bigger bridal sites seem to get top billing. If you do go to the bridal sites, if you see someone you think you might like, visit their web site. Those bridal sites make vendors & officiants pay for your contact info; so you might not hear back from your information request.

Your officiant should be able to help you combine your 2 religions to make the ceremony meaningful to you both. You just need to decide what you want to include and how much of either or both.

Answer 3

Traditionally the woman takes on the man's religion, but these days you do have a say. I don't know which you decide, but I do know you need to decide before you get married. It may not make a big difference now (only in which church you can get married in) but when you have children it will matter in how you rear them. Seek the advice of a non-interested minister (one that is neither your religion or his). Good luck.

Answer 4

You talk. It will be a pain & take a long time, but you just talk it out.

My fiance' is christian. I don't title myself, but if I had to I'd consider myself an atheist. He isn't part of a church (was raised in one). We decided to get married at a pretty conference center because I really didn't want to get married in a church, plus we are getting married in my home town (an hour away from his) so we wouldn't even have a church to get married in if we wanted without alot of searching.

I did agree to let his childhood preacher marry us. Because he knew alot of preaching and praying would make me uncomfortable, we spoke with the preacher about our feelings. He understood & said he would keep alot of the "god talk" out, we agreed on a prayer at the start of the wedding. The rest of the wedding will be about love & life. We both like this idea.

Of course more talking needs to be done after you decide about the wedding. Will you have kids? If so, how will you raise them? Again, this is an annoying talk because you're different, but you need to decide now instead of later.

But basically you don't just decide anything. You talk a lot and then meet in the middle where you both can be comfortable.

Answer 5

Traditionally, the religion is based on the woman. You are whatever religion your mother was. However, there is no set rule now. Many couples decide to have a nonreligious ceremony or two ceremonies, one for each set of religion/families. Many households will celebrate hannukah and christmas, for example. It is really what you and your partner decide -- just make sure that you are both clear on this subject before actually tying the knot.

Answer 6

well it all decides how different your religion is,than his... not only where u get married.. but after u have kids.. do u raise them urs or his... it will cause lots of arguments later on in life... you have to talk about it before you get married... then make up ur mind if u can live that lifestyle. I dont think a God believer should marry a athiest... for sure...but it all can be worked out if you talk about it... good luck

Answer 7

Decide what exactly?

Before you get married you need to discuss children. I see a LOT of relationships with different religions fail because they will not agree on how to talk to their children about religion.

Answer 8

You have to discuss this seriously before you get married. Is one or the other of you going to give up your religion and go with the other? Is there a compromise you can make by keeping both? You mostly have to be concerned about future children and how you would raise them - with what values and morals.
I was lucky, and it was kind of by design. I married my husband, of similar ethnicity and same religion (for us, religion and ethnic background go together), so we had no problems with where we were getting married, or how we would raise children, how morals and values would be in our family.

Answer 9

Tons of people these days are combining aspects from both religions into the ceremony. Not only does that help settle the religious issues, but it makes the ceremony more personal as well. I just recently went to a ceremony that combined Judaism & Christianity & it was absolutely beautiful

Answer 10

You have to agree before the wedding how you want to handle your religious differences. Perhaps one of you will convert, or else you will maintain your separate faiths. The big question will be: How will the children be raised? You could sit down with both your religious leader and your partner's religious leader and brainstorm ideas for how to handle it.

Whatever you decide, do NOT assume that this is something you can work out later. That is a recipe for disaster in your marriage.

Answer 11

My fiance and I are getting married based on where I go only because he is not an active member in his chruch and has not been there since he was confirmed, and I am a some what active member in mine, we are from 2 different religions but we can get the church for free