since then i have been left alone..my brother was 3when she died and my dad was like 45 then..i am 20 now..my childhood wasnt great coz i was left almost alone..my dad was always at work..and i would cry many times a day..i really loved my mom..she has left a deep sorrow inside of me..i feel helpless..all of my relatives turned thier back on us coz they didnt want to help us..i used to feel very left out coz of that..while all of my cousins were so happy with their families..i was left to cry alone..this childhood keeps on flashing in my memory..i feel very sad..it has affected me a lot..i cry even now..but i am just happy that atleast my brother had me while growing up..how do i get rid off the sadness..why has god been so unkind to me?..i have felt pain my whole life..i wish i could live like other children but i cant.
2007-02-20 05:34:30 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i had a man in my life..but he hurt me more than anything else..he said"you never deserved your mom thats why she left you" and plenty other things..he hurt me more than my mom? what do you expect now..he is gone.
2007-02-20 05:46:10 · update #1
All of you gave such good advices i don think that i can choose anyone for the best answers..i will leave that to the voters..but thanks a lot to evryone..i read all of your answers very carefully and they really do make a difference..thanks everone.
Take care.
2007-02-20 18:21:32 · update #2
you need to see a counsellor.
2007-02-24 00:30:57 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have had these challenges to make you stronger and not to crumble. It seems you have alittle problem with depression which you should go and talk to someone. You mother is not too far away, she can see you all the time. When you pass over they are never far from those that they love and those that loved them. So imagine your mother looking at you would she be happy to see you in permanent sadness or smiling and enjoying life?Your mother is smiling at you and thanking you for doing what she could not do as she was on the other side.You looked after your brother good for you. Your mother is so proud of you today for being the strong woman that you grew to become. Close your eyes and think of her, she is in the wind she is the sun on your face, she is the birds that cry overhead. She is all around you. She will once again be with you when its your time to leave this earth. Rest assured this is not the end when we die. Do your mother proud get help as all the pressure needs to be released and only a therapist can do that. You are a young woman to be admired. Good for you Dont ever allow a man to say such horrible things to you. He was an obvious abuser. Men like that are taking up valuable air. A real jerk.
2007-02-20 05:43:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good that you got rid of that bag of dirt who was so rude and cruel. Anyways, everybody has their share of sad experiences and you will be shocked if some of us start telling you what we had to go through in our previous lives. Remember how great your mom was and how she loved you when she was with you. Of course, it was not her choice to leave you but she had to go and she couldn't have alter the decision, no matter how much she had wanted to. Secondly, I am really touched that how your father decided to bear the responsibility of two small such children and tried to provide you acting like a strong man and responsible father that he is. But perhaps his age and his own emotional problems came in the way of his expressions. You know you can never depend on others to live a happy life. Try to think of so many things that you learnt because of the experience and struggles that you had to go through and the independent and mature individual you emerged with much more sense of the real and true world than the girls and boys of your age usually have. You are lucky girl that you have memories of your mom with you. Many of us don't even remember the faces of one or both our parents and be assured that no one can take the place of a parent in our lives, despite their best intentions. You are still young. I am sure you will find someone better to give you the pampering and nurturing, you want so much. One thing, stop crying. It won't help you unload your sorrows. Tears just make us weak, if we start depending on them. Try to smile and be cheerful. It will help you win more friends and have a more satisfying life. If you really need an adult person in your life, find an old age home and visit the seniors there. You will be surprise how some of them languish because their children either passed away or deserted them. Be their support and you will find peace within yourself.
2007-02-20 10:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Angel, I agree that life has not been fair to u, but do u want to keep remembering the past & keep crying? Move on.....SMILE. Remember, smile and world smiles with u!
u shud extract energy and lessons from ur past, cry everybody can, so whats so special about u, ask this Q to urself!
Learn to give back life what u couldnt!!! give ur kids the love u cudnt get. well, u can love any child for that, ur relatives', friends' or spend some time in an orphanage, then u will realise that all this life is just a "Comparative Degree", some have more sorrow, some even more and then some even more!!!!!
Love life, it will love u back!
Try this simple recipy, SMILE. It actually brightens up ur thought process, makes the world look good and more cheerful, and rest as they say---- Baaki sab bakwaas!
Take care,
Varun
2007-02-20 05:52:47 · answer #4 · answered by Varun S 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Life is not about what happens to us. Your life is not based on your circumstances.
Your life is your choice. Your life is a compilation of your choices. You make the choice.
My son died at 14 in '99. Today I was called down to jury duty and a 14 year old was on trial. They never asked me any questions, but, I knew the minute I saw the defendant that I would never be able to convict.
My son died in a juvenile correctional facility.
So I get back from jury duty and I felt really depressed and I figured it might cheer me up to help people so I surfed into Yahoo answers.
I ran into your question. Boo Hoo Hoo.
If you are religious, you go to heaven and you tell St. Peter "gee my Mom died and my family treated me like crap." St. Peter asks, "What good choices did you make?" No answer? Guess where you go? Your life, your choice.
If you are not religious this is still true. You do not get a free pass through life because bad things happen. Sure, people feel sorry for you and then they get bored after awhile and you live a miserable life. Your life, your choice.
So today I know I can't ever serve on a jury because every defendant could be my son and I could be giving them a life sentence. I would be just about as impartial as a black man at a KKK rally if I ever served on a jury.
Thanks for cheering me up and reminding me that this is my life and I can be depressed if I want to be, and I can go do some bench presses and literally get it off my chest if I want to.
I think I will go put 245lbs on my bar and see how many reps I can knock out before the weight falls off the ends of the bar. I suggest you go do something similar that you enjoy that will help you make good choices.
Thanks again.
2007-02-20 09:14:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hi. I don’t know how much this answer will help you, but I am hoping that it will because this is what I have learned with my experience. So it’s definitely not book knowledge !
My mother died when I was 17 and my brother was 8. I still feel the pain and the vacuum. I am 29 now. It's been long & difficult years without her. I cry too and feel awful many times. But when I look around.....I find people in worst situations than ours and I Feel lucky that I have some memories with her if not many because some people don't even have that. I have eyes, legs, hands, ears.....everything that I need to make my life good.
Like you said in your question that your brother was lucky to have you. Yes he was but aren’t you lucky to have him too ? He will grow up and help you as much as you have helped him. Maybe more. Give it time….
Your brother and you will experience a bond no other people have because of this experience. People with their entire family don't share the bond you will with your father and your brother. I know I share that with my father and my brother. And if you don't I would suggest you work at developing it. They can become your biggest strength.
Your mother was a messiah of God. When her work was over on earth, of spreading His message she had to go back to Him. When you cry, it makes her cry too. God took her away because he wanted you to learn a lot from life......so that you can be stronger than all.
You cannot choose your family but you sure can choose friends. Make more and more friends and try to help people in whatever way you can. It will lessen your pain when you see that other people are happy because of you.
And lastly, don't pity yourself. You are no different than anyone. If you want you can live like other children. Make the best of whatever you have. Don't waste time because you never know what lies for you ahead. Life is short and live to the fullest. That’s what I learned from my mom. She lived for the moment and made the best of whatever she had. And I thank God for it. And I thank her for teaching me that.
Don't give the world the liberty to hurt you or to be unkind to you. Make your life yourself and make it such that your mom will be proud of you !
2007-02-20 08:11:38 · answer #6 · answered by Vidhi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, to start with your mom didn't leave you, she died. But beside that you need to seek professional help. Many county health departments offer mental health counselling at reduced or pro rated fees based on financial ability. You could also ask a local pastor for counselling. Everything that you are experiencing is normal. But at some point you need to accept the fact that you are a 20 year old adult and need to make choices in your life and decisions and move on. You cannot un-cheat yourself out of the childhood you experienced, you can't relive it, no takebacks!. Grow up and move on, remember your mom with the love you say you had for her and create an environment for yourself that makes you happy and secure. Find a good job, join clubs or groups of people doing things you like to do, save money for rainy days. Be happy to be you and have your brother over and take pleasure in his life and accomplishments. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-02-20 06:39:13 · answer #7 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I feel sad for you as the little girl. Now you are a grown up young woman. Yes life can be rough for some people. You were there for your little brother, and that should make you proud. That is what God had in store for you. If you choose to dwell in your sad past, you will never get over it. I think you need to seek some councelling, or therapy. Don't let your past get in the way of your future. You have done a wonderful thing for yourself and brother, by keeping the family together. Maybe you are feeling a little sorry for that small girl(you) but time to let that go. The past is done, and your future is ahead. Life will be good,... if you want!!
2007-02-20 05:43:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
But, you know the experience has made you a stronger person because of it. I'm sorry you lost your mom when you were so young. You just have to find some good people or a therapist to talk to about what you're feeling. You're not alone, everyone has pain. And, those other children, you mention, they all have had their own issues to bear. But, you're 20 now. And, your whole life is waiting for you. I'm sure you're mother would be proud of what you've done til this point, just continue to make her proud with good judgment.
2007-02-20 05:40:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I lost my mum when i was 35, I was so depressed there after that i quit my job and became very spiritual. I am now close to your dad's age and still the memories of my mum haunt me. Since u are younger i know how it feels. Of late i feel that I should do more for my dad and i spend a lot of time with him. I think you should do that. Death is inevitable in a person's life and we should understand it. It happens to all of us. get yur self occupied in a job. join art classes, sport etc. Be in the company of others. meditate, visit your temple that should give u innner strength. In time when you set up a family you will have fond memories of your mother.
2007-02-20 10:41:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many bad things in many peoples life: Now you are grown up: it is time to think and choose a correct person: from your story,I find that you need the affection with you: and also you are expecting their feeling for what happened: But this will not be expected from all and it should not be repeated;
Because of these bad things, do you think that every one should have pity on you: that is there, but as a partner he will show and reflect once: But you think that he should be always pity with you
This is the incident to that man hate you
2007-02-20 22:15:18 · answer #11 · answered by ar.samy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋