What do you do when there have been many hurtful words on both sides? When can the healing begin and the blaming stop?? How do you prepare for this time?
2007-02-20 05:25:13 · 7 answers · asked by Carrie D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Maybe you should write how you feel to that person and your frustrations etc... leave it somewhere they're bound to find it..... w/ out you there that person cannot fire back and cut you off. the extreme i would suggest seeing a "counselor" type of person to mediate the situation and possibly have a neutral person help you all identify the problem.
2007-02-20 05:46:49 · answer #1 · answered by hugabug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it takes TWO to argue, there has got to be SOMEONE who is willing to compromise, more so than the other. It is a situation, where an argument can not be 50-50, it is just not reasonable to think so.People disagree, and it is life, it happens, but there needs to be give and take on both sides. It is pretty difficult to try and get your view across to someone who refuses to hear, and LISTEN to what is being said. Couples,or spouses, could look into couples therapy, or family counseling to get to the root of the cause of being able to communicate constructively. Anger can make us say things that we can REGRET, AFTER they are said. We should all think BEFORE we speak.Once something is said, it takes a lot more work to try and take something hurtful back.Arguing puts so much stress on any relationship. It needs to be taken seriously, and addressed.
2007-02-20 06:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a technique, I believe it is called 'Active Listening' wherein you listen to what the other says, then echo back in your own words what you understood they said.
This will only work in full if both parties are agreeable. But if you start echoing in your own words what you believe the other is saying, and how it affects you and the other person, without placing blame, you will be on your way to tearing down the fence that separates you.
Many years ago, my wife and I were going through a very difficult, trying time. We agreed the arguing HAD to stop and attended a series of classes. It worked for us.
Addendum:
Google: "active listening skills"
You will see hits to many colleges and universities
2007-02-20 06:00:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are arguing and the other person isn't listening to your side of the argument. Then stop arguing. If your communication between one another mostly consist of hurtful things being said to each other. Then maybe you both need a break. If your are married then seek some counseling, you need to find what the root of the problem is before you can resolve the issue.
2007-02-20 06:31:21 · answer #4 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you need to involve another person in your conversations to mediate what both of you are saying. They will be able to assist both of you in working through things. Make sure their not someone who can choose sides.
Or if you're having a difficult time getting a point across, and the issue keeps coming up maybe find a different way of explaining what you're thinking and trying to say. From the sounds of it, they all ready don't follow, so try another method. Write them a letter or an e-mail. That way you know you can get their point across without them interrupting.
Try not to talk to each other while you're angry. The hurtful words will continue to be said if you both talk while you're angry. Let them talk, if it makes you angry walk away BEFORE you respond. Think about what they said and what you want to say to them. Write it down, repeat it in your head. Then go to them. Ask them to listen to what you have to say. And continue to do this till the issue is resolved.
If their not willing to work with you to sort out the problem, then more serious help may be needed (i.e. couples therapy). I hope this helps and you're able to work through it. Best of luck to you!
2007-02-20 05:49:02 · answer #5 · answered by Legs0891 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I just stop talking to the person until they are ready to apoligize. I havent been able to forgive this person for what they have done. It may take a long time.
2007-02-20 05:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by Worried wife 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when i get mad or get into an argument i just simply walk away, and do not want to be bothered until i can cool off, and think it over in my head what had happened, how to fix it, and if i was wrong (which i never am) how to apologize.
2007-02-20 06:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by lidakamo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋