My friend has a four year old daughter who is having trouble behaving at church. She is a very headstrong little girl, but she knows the difference between good and bad behavior. Does anyone have any ideas that I could give her to help out?
2007-02-20 05:19:38 · 10 answers · asked by clballoo 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Or maybe it's the adults around the child who are having trouble accepting that God loves 4 year olds just the way they are. Who says Church HAS to be somber and dull? "Make a JOYFUL noise unto the lord"...Leave the 4 year old alone!
2007-02-20 05:24:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
Bad behavior in church is likely not the problem. Bad behavior at home is. If a child acts up in public, the child will also act up at home as a general rule.
My children knew that if papa said it, he would follow through. I didn't tolerate misbehavior at home, and there was no reason for the children to believe that i would tolerate it out of the home. I didn't 'beat' my children, on rare instances a swat on the butt or a slap of the hand was grudgingly necessary, but most of the time standing in the corner or standing nose to nose (for sibling fighting) worked well, the important thing is consistent rules and parenting. Starting right away, the longer you wait, the more resistance the child puts up. After all, when YOU let the child run the house, YOU forfeit the parent role, that YOU wanted.
Kowtow to a child's wants and the child will expect you to ALWAYS! Care for a child's NEEDS, don't make silly rules, be consistent, allow the child to have clear consistent boundaries.
Result: I have 5 wonderful adults that are well adjusted productive members of society. They love their papa and mom. They respect other people and their things. What more could you ask?
2007-02-20 13:38:27 · answer #2 · answered by mhp_wizo_93_418 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have always felt that it is unreasonable to expect four year olds to sit quietly through an entire church service. Many churches have activities for children during part of the adult service and if they do. the little girl should be encouraged to go.
As general hints go, they should sit at the back of the church so that fidgeting won't disturb anyone else and the child should be given soft toys and crayons/coloring books to amuse herself with. The mother should also discuss the appropriate behavior before church on each Sunday and have simple, clear rules. They could practice the church voice (whisper) and how to signal the need for a break during the service.
2007-02-20 13:35:22 · answer #3 · answered by Susan G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my church has a room for kids that is seperated from the rest of the people but you can still see and hear the service. does her church have one? otherwise she may just have to stick it out with her until she breaks down and decides to behave. if she takes her out everytime she misbehaves then the little girl gets her way. maybe she can spend time before the service and maybe even during(quietly of course)explaining whats going on and trying to get the child involved in the whole process so that she feels included. she is probably misbehaving because she doesnt understand what they are doing there.
2007-02-20 13:32:07 · answer #4 · answered by mylilangelcj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the child mis-behaves you must REMOVE that child until she thinks she can handle it, it might be ten minutes or it might be months, usually churches have groups for young children that are separate from their parents....that will help when she is old enough to attend that service. Until that time this child cannot keep interrupting every one else whether it be at church, a restaurant, or a movie....... BEHAVE or LEAVE!!!!
2007-02-20 13:25:45 · answer #5 · answered by Kimberlee Ann 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Our son squirms in chuch, but he knows he has to be quiet. On those especially bad days we make use of the family room our church has that allows us to see and hear the service, but is soundproofed from the rest of the congregation.
The church in the town I grew up in offered babysitting during mass.
2007-02-20 13:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! The training starts at home. You have to allow quiet time and play time, while at home. Then when at church she could tell her child that this is quiet time ( like we do at home). It will take time to train the child but at age 4 he/she should know how to act or how to listen to the parent(s).
2007-02-20 13:32:15 · answer #7 · answered by 20 and lovin' it 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We always brough the infamous baggie of Cheerios with us, along with a book about what was going on. (Were Catholic)
I'd read the the book to my daughter until she could do it herself.
2007-02-20 13:28:35 · answer #8 · answered by Crazymom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to call Supernanny. Jo Frost will know what to do.
2007-02-20 13:26:12 · answer #9 · answered by pokeeto2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave her in the nursery, 4 is too young for formal service, which is boring even for adults
2007-02-20 13:39:18 · answer #10 · answered by koleary388 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋