Friday night we went out to eat, and were just hanging out talking chatting about the day and he says: " I really miss this, we havent just talked and spent real time together in a while, i think we should take time to grow our friendship more"
We have been having problems lately with our relationship, im more into it wanting something solid, and he thinks we are moving to fast and that i want more than hes ready for yet. He says he wants to be with me, but wants to take it slow. He says that if we are closer as friends we will last longer, and it will develop into the kind of relationship that i want.
Part of me feels like this is just a ploy to slow things down and im fine, however i need ideas on how to build my friendship with my bf and not relationship wise. Its hard to not think about the relationship, but i need to.
So any ideas on how to build a friendship with someone?
2007-02-20 05:18:27 · 5 answers · asked by ~Browneyes~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is it really as simple as just talking about life as we normally do.
I think i just put to much pressure on things to get better rather than doing something about it.
Sunday evening we just jacked around outside throwing snowballs at the house... it was simple, but probably the most fun we have had together in a while.
Its obvious i make things a lot more complicated than they a really are :)
Thanks for the imput, and i am open to any ideas-within reason.
2007-02-20 05:42:18 · update #1
This might sound mundane, but the only way to built a friendship is what you two did... talk.
Maybe you two should spend more time getting coffee together or even choosing quiet restaurants (or even if you two arelying in bed and there's some downtime) where you two can talk about various things. Anything ranging from what you've done in the past week to problems that either of you might be having (friends, work, etc.) Make sure that he knows if he needs to vent or be emotive about something, he can do it w/ you. And open up to him yourself, too (which might encourage him to trust you more w/ his non-superficial thoughts and feelings).
best of luck
2007-02-20 05:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by whattodo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is right on this one. A relationship grows only when there is true intimacy. By this I mean, to be able to trust our inner most thoughts to each other, to feel accepted for who we really are, to know we can rely on each other in not only the good times but during the bad times also. From this, a deep friendship develops into a bond of true love. Since you mentioned you and him have been currently having problems in the relationship, then this is an indication of how it would be wise to first be able to resolve conflict before taking the relationship a step further. What your boyfriend is telling you, is that he wants you and him to be more intimate as true friends can be. Listen to him and validate his feelings, this is the first step towards intimacy. Takes work but the results can be a life experience like no other. Best of luck to you both.
2007-02-20 05:34:08 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depends on how long you been growing the relationship.
Are we talking years or just months?
If you been with him years then i would ask him why he feels you need to slow down.
if months then he is right you need
time to know each other .
2007-02-20 05:41:03 · answer #3 · answered by southernbell_1313 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't know how to be friends with your boyfriend? You're $c#%wed.
2007-02-20 05:25:45 · answer #4 · answered by Ben R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he's just using that as an excuse. good try though
2007-02-20 05:22:08 · answer #5 · answered by randini692000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋