My g/f and I have been together for a while now and not all the time but, sometimes she thinks that I am talking to other women.
I have told her several times that I am not interested nor talking to anyone else because she's the only one for me. Today while on my cigarette break, I was staring off into the sky and when i turned around, I saw my g/f coming around the corner. She immediately asked me if I was talking to that girl that just ran around the corner. I said no and she replied that she went around the corner awfully fast when she (g/f) came around the corner. To me, it's real silly and weird. Now, she's staring to feel down. This is starting to get on my nerves because it's like she can't trust what I say. I belive that I am an honest, commited man in a wonderful relationship but, it's the fact that she can't trust me over little things. There was also a rumor going about that some other girl in one of my classes likes me. I DONT CARE ABOUT THAT!! how can I help her?
2007-02-20 05:02:33 · 16 answers · asked by jaymil1979 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If she cannot trust you and acts like that I would not want to go out with someone that insecure anymore.
There is nothing you can do to reassure her.
2007-02-20 05:08:58 · answer #1 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is clear from your post that you are a sensitive and empathetic guy. Your girlfriend is very luck to have you in her life.
You want to know how you can change your girlfriend's behavior from being jealous and insecure to being trusting and confident. If she wants to change, you can support her by giving her reassurance. However, from what you have said she hasn't shown any motivation to change.
What you can do, is ask her questions like, "What made you ask if I was talking to that girl?" or "You seem really nervous when I'm around other women, why is that?" These questions might give her an opportunity to tell you how she really feels.
If she doesn't not seem willing to recognize and try to change her own behavior you might want to consider moving on., after all you shouldn't have to live with being falsy accused of flirting with other girls all the time. The irony here is that her behavior may be leading you to do the thing that she fears (you leaving her for another woman)
2007-02-20 13:39:53 · answer #2 · answered by Kate Winter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start showing her you're real & you're honest. Maybe buy her a little gift, or just a hallmark card saying how much you love & respect her & a rose. something that would make her feel you're all hers & only her. She can't be that stubborn can she? Whose heart wouldn't melt for a caring, understanding one? Tell her that if you guys are in this relationship together, she gotta start trusting you, otherwise it's not going to work. If she loves you, then she will understand & support you. Love can't be one-way, it's gotta be the whole round-trip. If you feel that she'll keep on accusing you & not trusting you, then think about whether you should be together or not
2007-02-20 13:08:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm not sure....I dealt with a jealous husband like that and i was always trying to reassure him and please him and try everything to eliminate his insecurities. It cant be done if youre always defending yourself...I think maybe that defensive attitude might feed into the insecurities?. he was kind of violent and drank.
I told him I'd leave him if he didnt stop it...that only seemed to make it worse! well, i did finally divorce him after 5 years of that!
he apologized later, about a year after the divorce/sep. and said he was doing the same thing to a new girlfriend and was trying to be better about it. he realized it was his problem.
but since ur not there yet and she not aggressive or alcoholic...you might agree with her when she starts in on you...like say...oh yeah thats my secret love running away cuz you came by. laugh it off...amuse her and grab her and kiss or something. be confident with her instead of defensive. say something like ..youre the most beautiful woman in the world why would i ever be with anyone else? be positve and complimentary. eh..its worth a try. peace
2007-02-20 13:13:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is very insecure and you need to talk to her about it. Was is because of something in her past, someone else betrayed her and that is why she has such a hard time trusting you? If she can't get over it..... well, I dont think you want to spend your life with someone who doesnt trust you, right?
2007-02-20 13:14:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many times (not all) the one accusing is actually doing it because of something they themselves are doing or have done. It sounds to me like you have done nothing to provoke this behavior. Try asking her why she thinks this way? It's a start.
Words of advice...if there's no trust there's really no relationship. They go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other.
2007-02-20 13:10:56 · answer #6 · answered by Vicki K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she has probably been cheated on before and if you never do that to her the trust will eventually be there.
so if you love her stay with her and show her she can trust you.
spend every moment you can with her and she will probably say things like that because she wants to hear exactly what you feel about her so every time she says that tell her exactly how you feel about her and remind her every day.
hope you two work this out
2007-02-20 13:14:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then that means that she's insecure and doesn't trust u and if she keeps listening to rumors than there reallly no point in being with cuz that's gonna be one hell of a headache.
2007-02-20 13:07:35 · answer #8 · answered by precious 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going off to college next year and my gf was worried that I may go off and find "someone better''. So to insure her that there was nothing to worried about. I made her a cd that said "I love you" on it but only had one song on the cd. "I'm A Stand By My Woman Man" by Ronnie Milsap.
2007-02-20 13:09:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your girlfriend is very possessive about u.....she has fear that surrounds her ..... that u may leave her that y she is acting like this...or she may be involved in some other guy she thinks about u the same way...sometime when some1 is wrong himself he thinks others r wrong also.....something in her past made her feel like this...the best thing to assure her is to take her out to her favorite place do everything which she likes than talk to her ...what is thing that makes her so insecure about you........you to be patient with her...........
2007-02-20 13:13:21 · answer #10 · answered by mahek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋