my boyfriend goes out with his buddies and comes home drunk. the next day he told me every thing that happen. he says "his friend paid for him to get a lapdance" from a stripper and he was so drunk he didnt say no.....i got pretty mad and left the place that we where eating at, luckly i had my own car since we met up there.. so should i be mad even though he came clean with everything, he say thats all that happen we have had a trustful relationship and nothing like this ever happend before to us. he even brought me a 1ct braclet but i didnt know since i walked out until he went to bed and i found it next to the sofa???(by the way we have been together 3years)
2007-02-20 05:01:09 · 18 answers · asked by K S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Personally, I don't think going to a strip club and getting a lap dance is cheating, especially if I end the night by coming home to my girlfriend.
What are you upset about? Do you feel that it's particularly inappropriate behavior, so much so that you are considering ending a 3 year "trustful" relationship?
I think he demonstrates far more courage and trust than most men I know; he obviously feels awful about what happened at the club (I'm still unclear on why, but that's not the point). Otherwise, he would not have told you about it, nor apologized; he's trusting you not to blow up in his face about it, which appears to be exactly what you did. I agree with the above posters, he probably bought you the bracelet to try and make up for his actions.
Besides, he was drunk and his friend paid for it, so he didn't spend any money to get the dance, and he wasn't in a great condition to decline. Is your issue that he went out drinking in the first place?
I would suggest you lighten up a little, especially if you say nothing like this has ever happened before. Let it go; any prolonged argument or anger from you will only discourage him from being as open with you as he has been for 3 years.
2007-02-20 05:54:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
ok first sweetie it was a STRIPPER, that's what thay do. no respectful man is really going to go anywere with it. and he was drunk. he's being your tipical male, havining fun with the guys his friends bought him the lapdance, not him. relax he loves you or he wouldn't have given you a braclet. sounds like you have a pretty desent man. hold on to him apologize for the way you acted. it's normal for us woman to get jumpy at the word stripper. but nobody's perfec t. just to ease your thinking, my husband went to a strip club when he came home from Iraq about a year ago and his friends did the same thing for him!!! try going with next time and maybe you'll realize it's not as bad as you thought, you might even get a lap dance yourself. ease up a bit and don't tlet the little things get you upset. if you love him and at the end of the day he comes home to you then it's not really even worth it. good luck!!!!
2007-02-20 05:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by prettyinpink 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why are you so full of anger is the real question.
You sound like the type of person who is constantly looking for some reason to blow and throw childish fits.
Seriously getting up and storming out of the restraunt like a child because what again?
He got a lap dance - at a strip club - while drinking.
If you can't handle a guy who drinks and goes to clubs - then find a more innocent goodie type of guy.
All you have done is reinforce the fact that he has to keep some things a secret from you because you can't handle them without going bonkers.
He did nothing wrong!!!
You owe him an apology and need to work on your anger issues.
2007-02-20 05:08:44 · answer #3 · answered by Nicholas J 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I definitely agree with Football.
A lap dance is SO not a big deal. He wasn't cheating on you, and he was honest with you about what he did. That's seriously something to respect, not to be angry at. If I were you, I'd apologize for overreacting and walking out on him.
If you two have been together for three years, and you're in love with him, and this kind of thing has never come up in your relationship before, then you know he's not the kind of guy to do it often, and you know that he's they kind of person (I hope) who will respect you and be true to you. Don't throw that away because of some insecurity about a stripper who is PAID to give lap dances.
2007-02-20 05:12:44 · answer #4 · answered by megan_of_the_swamp 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Never mind what that other guy says,,you should get yourself a lap dance too...we'll see just how much he cares about you.I can understand the tired of the same old thing stuff,,but,maybe it's really telling you something about what he really thinks of you.If i was in his shoes,,i'd say it's time to grow up,,and quit being like a wild teenager,,thinking this should be happening.Not concidering how you would feel about it.I think he wants out and don't want you to be with anybody either..your like a piece of property now,,even after a breakup.you'll have to take it a little more seriously,,how many more braclets in that store,,huh???lots and lots..drinking is no excuse,,he should find a new set of freinds that respect YOU!..and what you represent with HIM!
2007-02-20 05:20:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, here is the problem. Guys like to feel wanted. I got hit on at a restaurant and told my wife. The I get all kinds of cra about how I must have been leading her on.
Did he talk about how good it felt to bang the stripper? How awsome the sex was?
NO BECAUSE HE DID NOT CHEAT. Women complain cause guys hide their feelings, or never want to talk. And ther is some doubt as to why?
He did not cheat on you, he was feeling manly, and instead of just letting him have his ego boost you have to beat him down.
You don't deserve him. He will hide stuff from you from now on.
2007-02-20 05:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
i say you are over reacting... he went out with the guys (hello guys tend to either go to the bar to watch sports or go to the strip club)
He seems mature and secure in the relationshp that he knows he can tell you about his wild night. lapdances cant touch sooooo its not like he cheated.
If you trust him, appoligize for the way you acted.
If it bothered you. SAY THIS BOTHERS ME.
And go take strip tease lessons and show off for him. Believe me, after a few nights of your little routine, he will forget about ever going to another strip club bc he has a dancer he can touch when he gets home... plus he doesnt have to pay.
2007-02-20 05:10:18 · answer #7 · answered by ~Browneyes~ 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Why was he at a strip club in the first place? I'd be mad too if my boyfriend had a half naked girl grinding on his lap.
Your boyfriend needs to grow up and learn to control his alcohol intake (which, by the way, is a lame excuse). If he couldn't say no to a lap dance, what else has he done while intoxicated?
2007-02-20 07:39:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋
Honey you need to chill. Honestly, old dude came clean and told you everything most men would never do that. Plus its not like he had sex with the girl. You need to grow up and not make such a big deal out of things.
2007-02-20 05:08:23 · answer #9 · answered by Bubblez707 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
omg r u serious.... you gotta let the man hang out with his boys and 1st thing he did when he woke up was buy you a braclet cause he felt bad????? he told you about it, and got u a gift cause he knew you would be mad..... maybe you should go to the strip club with him, if ur into that, my girl is its awesome, if not let him do what he is gonna do, the girls at strip clubs arnt gonna go home with him or do anything besides dance for money
2007-02-20 05:07:18 · answer #10 · answered by smalltd28 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋