We just got back together like 5 months now. We been on and off almost 2 years. She has lost my trust last summer when she cheated on me. I am now always insecured about where she goes and who she hangs out with, What can I do to gain her trust. I tell her I feel insecure and she tells me I have to trust her. But its so hard to do
2007-02-20 04:59:32 · 17 answers · asked by Khanh V 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Once a person cheats the damage it does to the relationship is almost irreversible. Remember one thing, the trust and the relationship will never be the same as it was before she cheated on you, but it does not mean there is no hope to build and strengthen the love you two have. After all, to trust her again, will leave you with feelings of being vulnerable to being hurt again. Trust will have to slowly evolve as you two work at building better ways of relating your inner needs to one another. Each person in a relationship must fully commit to making the relationship their number one priority and value it as such, or it will not work. By you deciding to forgive her and take her back, then you also took on the burden of making an effort of trusting her again. Some couples have found not able to over come the damage of the betrayal cheating can create, yet others with hard work and determination have been able to overcome and move on to building a better relationship. Good luck to you both!.
2007-02-20 05:20:22 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello. Was this the first time that she cheated on you? Did she give you a reason for cheating on you? I know that no matter what the reason may be, there is no excuse that is excusable for it. I totally understand why you would be insecure. You have every right to be.I have been in the exact same situation and did cheat on my ex bf. I guess I felt like the grass was greener... It was a terrible mistake even though he is my ex now. I felt terrible for hurting him the way that I did. This can be worked through easier if she's only done it one time. Does she feel bad about it? I think that you may be able to trust her once more only if she's truly sorry and wants to work this out with you.Just try your best to trust her, but keep your eyes open at all times. Good luck.
2007-02-20 05:09:30 · answer #2 · answered by starchild4485 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is being unreasonable if she is telling you that you have to trust her. She betrayed your trust - horribly. The only way you can trust her again is for her to PROVE to you that you can trust her. She has to EARN your trust back. I have been cheated on before - by my ex-husband. Trust is not something you can feel for someone quickly, once they have betrayed that trust. You have the right to not feel like trusting your girlfriend, no matter how much you WANT to trust her. Your feelings are valid. She does not have the right to make you feel that your feelings are wrong or that you should be trusting her. She lost that right when she betrayed your trust by cheating on you. She does have the right however, to show you that she can be trusted again. She needs to do everything in her power to show you that she is trustworthy. If you can tell she is trying, then you should do everything you can to try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Even though you have valid reasons not to trust her, if you are constantly second-guessing her motives and who she hangs out with, then you are saying to her that you will never trust her, and she will end up feeling like it is useless to try to earn back your trust because she can never earn it back. Try to meet her half-way if you can, but do let her know that trust is something she is going to have to EARN - not demand from you.
2007-02-20 05:06:45 · answer #3 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since there where problems in you relationship before and you took her back always think clearly about what you and her next step would be as a couple. things will never be the same if thats all you think about is what she is doing and who is she with nothing will be solved that way so my guess would be if you do want to spend your time doing that then go ahead and if not you should move on if you think you could never trust her again but by asking her if she is cheating and she says no then leave it at that and dont think that she is all the time and by the way you took her back so you had to know what you would be getting in to again.
2007-02-20 05:12:26 · answer #4 · answered by K S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm going through the same thing pretty much... been with her for 2 years broke up about 2 months ago and she ended up asking me out last month and we are together now.. but during that month she did some stuff i dont approve of at all.. its super hard man, i know you always have that crap in the back of your mind everytime you see her and talk to her. stay strong, dont let it get to you if she means enough, you won't let her foolish childish mistakes take you down man. you are the better person.
2007-02-20 05:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't anything that you can do to trust her again. Its what she has to do to earn your trust and respect back. If she questions why you don't trust her, well, she actually already knows, and has to live with what she did. However, I can tell you this, If you truly love her, and want to continue in this relationship, and you have forgiven her for her mistakes, than you owe it to her to let the past go. It only takes you down and makes you miserable. If you truly feel that this is who you want to be with, you need to "let it go" for yourself.
2007-02-20 05:04:24 · answer #6 · answered by MommaSchmitt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a hard one b cuz once somebody did that to me I probably woudn't talk to them anymore thats constant stress. You can do 2 things either break up or live with the fact she did you wrong and always wondering where who when and what. Good luck.
2007-02-20 05:15:04 · answer #7 · answered by precious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I havent been in a similar form of a challenge. anyhow, you seem a very superb guy and that i'm specific you adult men will stay jointly for long. i think of you will possibly desire to heavily tell her that its relatively annoying for you together with her small errors she does at times. She might desire to start taking extra accountability and if she has had drug problems -she might choose for expert help. In a extreme case if she does it back and back back, its no longer her fault -its the addiction and you will possibly desire to stand close beside her such as you have achieved. no longer something is unforgivable -you purely stay this life as quickly as!!!!!! seem, i wish somebody with extra desirable experience will enable you to. you will possibly desire to in line with danger deliver this to 3 expert or some thing. lots of high quality fortune and stay the type you're :D !
2016-10-02 11:03:22 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she cheated on u and couldnt c how much u cared about her...i say drop her like its hot cause she aint worth it! there are many more fish in the sea! u sound like a nice guy, im sure theres a girl out there 4 u.
2007-02-20 05:04:20 · answer #9 · answered by krystal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a cheater will cheat, the trust is gone.
end it and move on. find someone you can trust.
you probably don't want to hear that but it is the truth
2007-02-20 05:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by randini692000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋