I recently became single again after being with my partner for 6 years,he walked out on me and our son 6 weeks ago.He has lied to me and treated me like rubbish for alot of our so called relationship.He would stay out all weekends drinking and taking drugs etc while i was left at home with our son who has learning difficulties and could be hard to manage.
He wasn`t always like this i must admit but i think we settled down to young,he was 22 and i was 20 when our son was born,so i think he just wasn`t ready to be a dad.Anyway i`m still hurting as he has moved onto someone new,she works with him and i know he cheated on me with her.
I can`t imagine being with anyone else as he was my 1st love and he has broken my heart twice.He lied when he came back to us 5 months ago saying he loved me when all along he didn`t really,i now don`t think i`ll ever be able to love anyone and truly be in love again as he has taken everything away from me,gradually over the years.
2007-02-20 04:58:19 · 18 answers · asked by onlyme 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I`ve became a tatally different person,i was never loud but had some confidence and a bubbly personality and was happy,i now look in the mirror and see and old woman,i`m only 24.
With his constant lies and letting me and our son down i don`t think i`ll ever lat myself get close to anyone ever again incase they hurt me like my ex has,but at the same time i`m scared of beibg alone for the rest of my life and it hurts like mad that he has just thrown me and our son away like we`re nothing and has moved on already especially with this girl who openly flirted with him when we were together.I feel jealous of her as she is the same kind of person i used to be,carefree and happy and confident,i just feel worn out and down all the time,i don`t even know if i`m making any sense here but i`m so mixed up,sorry about the story!advice appreciated,thanx.
2007-02-20 05:03:38 · update #1
sorry for the awful spelling!!
2007-02-20 05:04:39 · update #2
oh babe, i felt like i was reasing my own story. Two years later life is so much better, i'm happy with my son, who i now cope with so much better as im not tense because of his dad all the time,
I just wish i could give you advice on how to get here.. but i don't know how i did it..
good days and bad, a couple of really good mates, lots of wine along the way,
But trusting, not sure on that one still, i'm a strong believer in people who care about you doing whatever they can to show there trustworthy, but i'm now beginning to realise thats not fair on new relationships.
i started 2007 with the intention of doing things differently, hasn't worked so far.
on the good side though the person i was when i met him may be long gone, but i'm a stronger better and happier person for what our relationship did to me.. so eventually you will be to, but give yourself time, greave for a bit... be angry.. be sad.. it needs to be got out of your system.
As for him moving on, he'll most likely do the same thing to her, ( i know my ex is doing it!!) Shes not better than you,
your better, you have morals, that said, hes your first love and speaking from exsperience you probably still love him.. ( yes i still love my ex!! but i would not go back) and its gonna hurt for a long time, but it will get better,
i wish i could figure out how you send messages on this thing as if you ever needed a chat or a moan i'd of like to help
all i can say is good luck hun, and lol i think i rambled to..
don't try and trust for a while, learn to love you.. and let the only man in your life be your son for a while.. trust me after a while it will do you both the world of good
xx
2007-02-20 11:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by xxx vic xxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all this guy sounds bad. Move on from him and get on with your life. Secondly, you deserve better and that someone will come along but you need to open up and let your confidence and the person you once were to shine through again.
I had a hard time trusting guys so much that i'll keep my distance and not get close to them in case i got hurt and after three boyfriends, i got over it. I let that idea out of my head and let me, my confidence and who i am shine through. Now am with some i believe i deserve to have and he's very loving and caring. Way better than the others. I truly trust him 100% too, which is a complete difference to the others where i trusted much less than that, probably about 10%.
Advice, let what you've become be stripped off and the old and perhaps brand new you shine through. You're only 24 and young. Don't have the life of someone who's double your age.
Wish you the best in this and your future life.
2007-02-20 05:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by stephanie b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you can not learn to trust again but, that only depends on how bad the trust was broken. Lets say the person was close to you and they did something to break your heart and the trust was lost. It would take some time especially if you are always w, somebody that you can never trust r you are always losing trust in others. I would take some time out for self and just learn about you. It will be heard but, you have to do it. Start by reading personal development books to better yourself, Read about trust, and the meaning, love, truth in relationships. these books are all out there and not for show they are there to help people and i believe that they can help you too. Good Luck and I hope I answered your question to the best of my ability.
2016-05-23 22:58:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sucks that all of this had to happen to you babe but you have to try and be the bigger person here and try pick up the pieces and build your life again without him.
It is totally normal that you don't feel like you will ever love or trust anyone again, this is your way of trying to protect yourself in the future.
What this guy has done to you is devastating but in the long run you will be so much happier without him so now its up to you to move on and enjoy your life now that he is gone. You and your son deserve so much more than he could ever give you.
I know it hurts right now and i know the thought of him with someone else will hurt even more but if he can do this to someone he has been with for 6 years and do this to his own son then there is a big possibility that he will do it to this new girl.
He has taken 6 years of your life so now its your turn to show him and everyone else that you and your son don't need him and that the next years of your life will be the best.
Good luck xxx
2007-02-20 05:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by anastacia500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, What do you mean he wasn't ready to be a dad? Then he should have kept his you know what in his pants! Out of your relationship, what have you gained besides a beautiful little boy that you now have to take care of by yourself? Nothing but heartache and sorrows. Do not love this man, and for damn sure don't take him back if he tries again. Don't let the love you have for him blind you, your worth more then this. You take care of you and your little boy. No man and NO ONE is worth this much pain and anguish. As far as not being able to love again, RIGHT! you are 24 years old your still young hun. I wouldnt go and try to get someone right now but, just think because you dont have him anymore, you will be single for when mr. right comes along. This time you will know better, you will know when somethings not right cause of all you have been through. Give yourself sometime to heal. You will pull through this, and be as happy as ever. Good Luck sweetie!
2007-02-20 05:16:38 · answer #5 · answered by Amber Vance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some time to heal. I know its not much, but take comfort in the fact that if he cheated on you with her, he will probably do the same to her after awhile. Remember that he had problems and that doesn't apply to every guy you may meet in the future. Don't rush, try to get used to your situation and the change in your relationship with your son(now that dad is no longer in situ). Try to love yourself again, before you look for someone else. Right guy is out there. Hold onto that thought.
2007-02-20 05:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by Diane T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be a very trying period for you and your son. It might sound strange but your are better off without him. He will also do the same thing to his new his new girl. The best way for you to move on is to forgive him even if he doesn't ask for your forgiveness. Your mirror reflection is a reflection of the state of your mind.Anything believe in your mind always manifests in the physical. You are a masterpiece and a precious gem,no man should make you feel less.
2007-02-20 05:27:54 · answer #7 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, please, please trust again. You sound like such a lovely and loving person, I know you would be a wonderful partner for a decent bloke. I get upset when the whole gender gets a bad name for the negligence of a few. You are even kind enough to appreciate that he has changed and, yes, it could be you started a family too early. But what is done, is done. You have even given him a second chance! Take your son, who will become a loving man because of you, and give someone a chance. By all means, take care, but I truly hope you find the right man. If I was half my age, ...
2007-02-20 05:13:42 · answer #8 · answered by GARY W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you ever find yourself saying: "I just do not want to be hurt again" or "I am just not ready". Well think about these things again. These statements are you still living in the past and letting the person that you left also control your future. Our past should not be something that we let control our future. The past is just that and that is where it should remain. Dealing with things so that the door can be closed on that chapter in your life is not always an easy thing to do but doing this makes for less chaos in your life in the future.
2007-02-20 05:07:27 · answer #9 · answered by youmakemesmile :] 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your time to get over it. You're still young and have plenty of time to look for someone better. He sounds like a right ar*e though plenty of blokes out there are better - maybe try looking outside your normal circles for someone new and different. But most important don't rush into the nearest man's arms - almost certainly he'll be the wrong guy.
2007-02-20 05:08:26 · answer #10 · answered by Andy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋