Is being in ministry and being single frowned upon?

Question

I am married now.....but a few years ago before I met my wife, I was in a Pentecostal church (big mistake right there).....I'm in a baptist church now...thank God.

It seemed as if being single was like a disease which automatically disqualified you from ministry....especially helping out with the youth group.

It's almost as if not having a wife and 5 kids meant you were a weird Christian.

This does not apply to all churches....let me make that clear.....

But has anyone else ever had that sense about being single in church?

Answer 1

I am a non-denominational born again Christian and this along with many other issues is why I never could join a church.

I just wanted to tell you that the answer you gave to this question below was one of the greatest answers I've ever seen on this site. I gave you a star. Great come-back.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ap8l.GI7lcD4Zr7qSwxrWF7d7BR.?qid=20070221065259AARP2sW

Answer 2

I'm Catholic and I'm with you on this one, I think it has more to do with a sense of conservativeness than of anything theological, and I think it extends beyond ministers to the laity.

Granted, Catholic priests are supposed to be single, but I've gotten the same sense from some parishoners about the various ministers, even down to the Bible Study leaders. I've a friend who is studying to be a Deacon (also a former Pentecostal, by chance) who has been celibate for more than 20 years as a gesture of holiness. Most ask why he isn't a priest instead - there's such a profound difference in the job they do, it's actually an odd question, but underlying that question is the expectation that all are called to marriage. I certainly don't think that's true.

A group of us approached our church council right after college and asked to start a young adult group. The council (not a single member was under 50) said they'd be happy to support a group that prepared us for vocations or marriage, but nothing else. What we wanted was an opportunity for young people to get together and start a service ministry with some fellowship activities. But this was an older group in a conservative town and they just thought 20-somethings weren't to be trusted.

There's so much a single person can do to follow the Lord's calling. Single people have the time and energy to focus on things in a way that married persons with families cannot.

Blessings to you in your ministry.

Answer 3

Being single should never be a factor in regards to ministry, unless it is a factor for you personally. If you feel that being married may limit the the opportunity you will have to serve effectively then it is up to you to maybe find a more appropriate way to serve. Alternatively being single should not impact your opportunities. (See the apostles, Jesus, etc.)

Answer 4

no, whoever was looking down on you probably wish you had married them...but you can't tell me you don't miss that hand clappin, foot stompin, shoutin Pentecostal church.

Answer 5

no you should not be singled out

Answer 6

I do not look down upon anyone that is single and/or in the ministry. Do what gives you the most peace of mind, and happiness, and helps others in life. Please *Patiently* read this. Thank You, and have a Great Week/Weekend.
As we learn to love all people, with Unconditional Love, our communication and our relationships with all people, including loved ones, will improve, and we’ll also acquire peace of mind, and happiness.
“Unconditional Love is very patient, and kind, demonstrating compassion toward all people. It endures long {is patiently tolerant, not being moved). Unconditional Love is not jealous, nor is it envious. It does not brag about itself, it is not boastful, arrogant, or full of pride. Unconditional Love respects others, and it is not rude. Unconditional Love does not insist on its own rights, and it does not insist on its own way, it is not self-seeking.
Unconditional love is not bitter, or resentful toward others. Unconditional Love is not easily angered, for it is not touchy, or sensitive. Unconditional Love takes no account to a suffered wrong {it thinks maturely, and forgives, letting go of all ill-thoughts, and ill-feelings toward others). Unconditional Love rejoices in others joy, not their misfortunes. And it rejoices within when right is done. Because it endures long, being as it is very patient, tolerant – not being easily effectived/moved, ‘it bears up under anything, and everything that comes its way. Unconditional Love is ready to forgive oneself, and others, always ready to believe the best of all people{Unconditional Love is Very Optimistic)!’ Unconditional Love hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it patiently endures everything, without weakening. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man {now that I am mature in my thinking, speech, and behavior), I am done with childish ways, having put them forever aside. {Amplified
*“Do not judge, criticize, and condemn others, so that you may not be judged, criticized, and condemned yourselves by others. For just as you judge, criticize, and condemn others, in accordance with the measure you use to deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you in life. Why do you stare from without at the very small speck in another’s eye, but do not become Aware of and Consider the beam of timber, or log that are in your own eye? And how can you say to another, ‘Let me take out the very small speck out of your eye, when there is a beam of timber – in your own eye? You pretender, actor, and hypocrite, first, get out the beam of timber/the Log, out of your own eye {life), then you will see clearly to help take out the very small speck out of another’s eye {life). Jesus also said that if we do not forgive others their faults, our faults will not be forgiven.'"* {Amplified). As we are patient and gentle with ourselves, forgiving ourselves, we are then well equipped to forgive others of their faults {giving up all resentments toward them).
Introspection helps us effectively to see things, people, and situations as they really are; aiding us in our relationships with others. Life is based on relationships with others. We are not meant to be alone, but to develop, to cultivate successful relationships with others. Unconditional Love coupled with Compassion {which is the wish for others to have stable peace of mind, to be happy, and to be free from suffering), improves all of our relationships in life. Unconditional Love says, (through its behavior toward others) I Love You in Spite of_________{your faults, bad habits, etc.)” Conditional Love says (through its behavior toward others), “I Love You IF you ___________ {change this or that about yourself, OR IF you do this or that for me). Conditional love is based solely on emotions alone. We become unstable emotional Yo -Yo’s, if our love is conditional. Conditional love, which says, “I Love You If_______, isn’t genuine, sincere love, for it always has strings attached. It is very difficult for us to sincerely care about, and love others when they must fulfill certain requirements, which we have placed upon them, and center on the benefit they must give to us. Conditional Love only loves those who have the same interests, and those who show kindness to us, or take care of us when we are sick, etc. Conditional love only loves those who are beautiful, handsome, intelligent, etc. while Unconditional Love sincerely loves all people equally, simply because they are alive, with the understanding that we all essentially want the same thing: to have peace of mind, to be happy, and to be free from suffering. And while we are Under the Influence of Conditional Love were held captive, we’re bound by our unstable emotional reactions to others. Without that stable peace of mind, which comes from loving others unconditionally, we “are” always bound to our unstable emotional reactions to others. Loving all people, unconditionally, provides us with a stable peace of mind, Happiness, and greatly improves our relationships with others, especially in the area of communication. We are meant to humbly practice loving all people unconditionally, without strings attached. The practice of Unconditional Love takes time to develop, we must be gentle, and very patient with ourselves. Some people may allow themselves to feel guilty for being selfish, but guilt is simply unproductive. Self-reproach is a clever trick of the selfish mind, for it puts emphasis on “me” and through self-pity thinks “how bad I am.” What is needed is not guilt but action. When we notice we’re being selfish, we simply remember that others want peace of mind, and Happiness as much as we do. By daily demonstrating this compassionately {recall compassion is the wish for others to be happy, to have peace of mind, and to be free from suffering) our selfish attitude will automatically diminish, while the wish to help others will greatly increase. Some people assert that “If we weren’t selfish, we wouldn’t have any ambition in life, being passive, without having goals”
As we clear our minds, of all disturbing attitudes, we are then able to look at the person, or situation introspectively – with clear perspective and seek the best solution for the other individual, and for ourselves. This middle balanced approach benefits both parties. With a Patient, kind heart, we’ll be much more harmonious with people in life, even those of a different religion, as well as atheists and agnostics, for there is nothing to be gained by quarreling and strife. A Patient, Kind Heart is the root of harmony and mutual respect, in all types of relationships. It also prevents us from feeling estranged or fearful of others. And it especially protects us from becoming angry, jealous, proud and closed-minded. As a result, when opportunities arise to help others in life we will not lack the courage and compassion to demonstrate Unconditional Love. "Peace of Mind, and Happiness are the results of cultivating, and demonstrating toward others unconditional love, as described in the second long paragraph {the description of unconditional love). I encourage you, to continue to optimistically practice this unfailing unconditional love toward yourself, and toward others. Thank You very much for reading this, and have
a great week, and weekend." Thanks.