help to end babying?

Question

I'm a single mom to a 6 year old boy named Clayten and my family and friends are always telling me I baby him. I do treat him as special, because he's my only baby and I had him when I was 19. Maybe I'm just trying to hold on to him. I guess I better nip it in the bud before it becomes even harder when he's bigger.

I give in to him whenever he whines, he can sleep in my bed if he gets up in the middle of the night, I guess I treat him like he's still a baby

Answer 1

My stepson has been babied his entire life. His mommy was still wiping his behind at age 6! He's now 17 and the biggest wuss in the world. He always gets his way and whines when he doesn't. It's hard to be around him. Even though your son is your whole life, try to let go a little. No one wants to be around a 6 year old baby. He should be treated special because he's your child but don't over do it. It will get harder and he may even resent you for not letting him learn to be a regular kid.

Answer 2

I will tell you that you need to do what is right for you and your son.

Having said that I will also tell you, from what you have said you are in for trouble in the future. You could be setting your little one up for fighting with you until he gets his way, which will cause some explosive behavior.

Although I do believe spanking can be effective and is useful in some curcumstances, introducing it at the age of 6 is a bad idea. I suggest reading the book by Jim Fay. "Love and Logic" you can get it at your local library, a book store or order it online. There are many ways you can assert yourself as a parent, take control of the situation and get the point across to your son that you are the parent and that you can handle him with ease.

I also suggest that you tackle one issue at a time. Do not try to change everything at once. It will be hell on you and your son and you will give up. It will seem impossible.

No matter what you choose to change, or how you decide to enforce your new rules, you must always be consistant. No is no. Not yes, not maybe. It is no. End of story. He will get mad, throw fits and it will get worse before it gets better. When my daughter throws a fit I encourage her(yes encourage her) I tell her she needs to lay on the floor and kick, scream louder, I tell her she can do much better than what I am seeing. She repsonds my telling me she doesn't want to lay on the floor and throw a fit, and then she goes off and does something else. It works for her, try and see if your son will react the same way.

Good luck, stay strong! Parenting is not for the weak.

Answer 3

I'm sorry but this has GOT to stop NOW!!!!!!

You're obviously a single mom? I hate to be blunt but you're gonna STAY single if you don't change things. Been there done that!

A few years back I met a girl and fell head over heels - I knew she had a kid and it didn't bother me. Thing was the further the relationship progressed the more I felt there was no room for me. Was just like you described - I often had to sleep in the spare room to accomodate a six year old kid. It was way too much for me AND for the kid - he just couldn't grow up 'cause he knew he would get his way every time he turned on the water works. I really loved the girl AND the kid but I had to get out before I cracked up.

Answer 4

Do you feel uncomfortable about anything you do with regard to your son or are you trying to pay too much attention to what others think? Look at yourself in the mirror...are you happy with the type of parent you are? This society focuses TOO much on detached parenting skills and having our children grow up sooner than necessary. Your son will NEVER be 6 again! There will be a day when you're not the first person he runs to for help or for comforting. It will come soon enough and afterall, he's 6 and crawling into your bed...not 18 and off to college. I'm not sure on what the hangup is with children needing to have their own bed. Some parents spend a large part of their parenting time on teaching a child to sleep alone when most of us end up in a relationship of some sort and have to learn to share our space. When animals have their young, they don't place them in a different part of the forest/outside and have a baby monitor in close proximity to listen to what happens. They're right with them! For those of you who will argue the child is 6 and not an infant...different species develop and mature at different rates. He's a small child, treat him as one. People who don't like what you do with YOUR son don't have to be around you! It's up to YOU and what feels natural to you! I commend you on your dedication to him! My hat is off to you!

Answer 5

he will get bullied at school when he gets older because other pupils will think he is a wuss, winer and cries like a girl. Don't punish him anymore and let him be a boy!! My son is also 6 and i had him too at 19, but i don't let him get away with crying like a girl and certainly does not sleep in my bed!! kids need boundaries and my son knows he is not allowed in my room at any time. You will make your life hard and his a nightmare!

Answer 6

You mean we're supposed to stop babying them? My son is 16 and I still baby him in a lot of ways.

Answer 7

Don't give into him. If he cries just let him continue crying or put him in his room for a while. Eventually he'll fall asleep.

Answer 8

I know its hard to let go, I did that with my daughter too, but blieve me, you WILL regret it later if you don't take the reins now. Good Luck

Answer 9

it is common for single mothers to be like this to her only child, however; i would break the habit now before it gets worse.

Answer 10

You must break that habit. Later in life he will try to be in charge because you let him have his way. By in charge i mean he will be trying to run your life and home.