Is lingerie an appropriate gift?

Question

A girl I work with gave me a very beautiful gift of lingerie for no apparent reason. She said it was a 'thank you' gift for helping her out with a project at work. I am not sure how to react to this. Any advice?

Answer 1

React with customary courtesy and tell her it was a thoughtful gift.
There may be nothing to read into this so any attempt to do so now may cause you.,and her, embarrassment.
Hold fire until you see if her behavior is untoward in the future.

Answer 2

It doesn't seem appropriate to me from a coworker. Significant other, of couse. In a situation between best girlfriends, such as if they are shopping together and one knows that the other is shy to initiate a boost in the romance department, this seems okay but out of the blue by a colleague is kind of weird. This would be especially inappropriate if you are on different levels of the job, such as the supervisor giving this gift to her assistant. If this is the case, it is grounds for sexual harrassment...but maybe this is not a can of worms to open.

I would watch carefully and discreetly for any signs of interest on her part, like she is into you romantically, or trying to make someone jealous, including someone at her or your home. If you think this is happening, you can assume it is a flirtation.

Outside of that context, give her the benefit of the doubt that it was a misfire in her selection, maybe she didn't think about the perception, maybe she was in Vic Sec shopping for yourself, thought about the project and picked up something for you as well without thinking it through, etc. Instead of criticizing the inappropriateness of the lingerie as a gift, just heap on the "you shouldn't haves..." in terms of how extravagent it is. You can mention that it was a pleasure to help her and that you are happy to do your part without a lot of fanfare.

After a while, if things are innocent enough, you can redirect the whole gift giving thing by taking her out to lunch, or gifting her "just because" or to recognize her, with a set of personalized stationery, a business success book, an affirmation book, a candle for her desk, a bag of jelly beans...something that doesn't say "romantic" in the least and that can be used AT work.

Or you could be crude and use the lingerie as intended and take photos, tuck them in a proper thank you note and say..."Thanks so much for the gift of lingerie, as you can see from this rumple on the floor by the bed, it comes in very handy! I have been using it frequently since I received it! In case you are wondering, YES! Those are my curled up toes there in the upper left hand corner of the photo? The hairy legs are my husband's...teehee! Thanks again, Your friend, Sarah"

Answer 3

lingerie is not an appropriate work gift. If it makes you feel uncomfortable there is no reason why you shouldn't tell her that you wouldn't feel right accepting the gift. Think about it- I'm sure that there are certain close friends you wouldn't want to receive lingerie from. Also, if she wanted to say "thank you" there are plenty more appropriate ways to go about doing this: flowers, buying you lunch, baking you something, even a gift certificate. Now, just because she gave you this gift doesn't mean that she has any ill intentions behind it, she just might not see it as awkward. I say just tell her how you feel, and if you honestly don't think that you could except it (or that there may be strings attached) then there is no reason to. Say thanks, but no thanks.

Answer 4

That is very strange, a gift card, gift certificate or even just a card would be a fine thank you. I can honestly say no co-worker has ever given me lingerie... If she is your supervisor this would be considered sexual harrassment. Personally I would give it back and say thanks for the acknowledgement, but I can't accept this. If she seems surprised, I would say, "honestly, don't you think lingerie is a bit strange of a gift to give a co-worker?" Something is going on here, something strange...

Answer 5

Okay. My female co-worker and I just discussed this and we both agree that it is a very strange gift. She is probably trying to put out some feelers as to whether or not you like her in a sexual way.

Ignore the present unless she brings it up again. If she does bring it up again, say something like " I really appreciate you thinking of getting me a present but it really wasn't necessary." That should be enough to let any sane person know you are not interested.

Answer 6

A bit strange for sure, but, however, you still have to appreciate the good intention. You may wear it at home, have someone snap it and show the pictures to her. Make sure that she's just alone when you show her them.
Having it snapped would help her know whether you fit in that lingerie / not, regardless to whatever sexual orientation that she probably possess.
Just make her think that the gift's worth the value of cooperation won't hurt you, will it ??
Wish forever team-mate stuff to you all !!

Answer 7

Yes!!!!! lingerie is a Appropriate gift. If you want the lady to feel sexy and wanted and desired.

But in your Case.. I am not sure. Are you Friends?If not I think she wants to became a very good friend of yours..

Answer 8

I'm not sure what I would do but lingerie seems like a pretty forward gift and I would confront her about it if your uncomfortable with it.

Answer 9

hmmm??
I would ask how close you two are first? Then, I would want to know if it was something like really sexy or was it just something nice, like a pretty nightgown or slip or something. It could just be her taste if it's something simple. But if you two really don't know each other that well and it is something that is obviously inappropriate to give anywhere other than a bridal shower with your closest friends, I would graciously decline the gift.

Answer 10

Just how close are you? I think this is a gray area. It would be entirely inappropriate for a man to do it but another woman is not quite the same. What do you know about her? My reaction would be a written thank you and leave it at that.

Answer 11

Lingerie is a nice gift for a woman. We appreciate gifts like that. For christmas i got a bag of thongs and on my birthday i got a box of victoria secret thongs from someone else. Its like a guy getting an electric razor for another guy. =)