My sister is getting married in a couple of weeks. We have had some problems with our dad in the past - he doesn't really want anything to do with us because we decided to live with our fiances before we got married, among other things. He's going to be at the wedding, but he's not happy about it. Everytime the subject comes up he talks about how it's nothing to celebrate, that there's no point in it. Many other people we know have this attitude about her wedding (as well as my upcoming one).
This will be the one time in my sister's life when she gets married (hopefully), and I don't want her to have such negative memories when she looks back on the occasion. I have shown enthusiasm in helping with the decorations, trying on bridesmaids' dresses, etc., but my attempts to lighten the mood haven't done any good. I know I can't change what my family thinks, but how can I make this a more positive experience for her when everyone else's attitude is so negative?
2007-02-20 03:32:29 · 17 answers · asked by Persephone 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can't do anything about your Father's mood you can try inviting some people he likes and try to keep him isolated among his own friends. This will keep his comments out of the main stream. Other than that do your best to enjoy yourself. Dance with the ugliest guy at the wedding and keep passing him on to other people. Laugh and have fun.
2007-02-20 03:39:55 · answer #1 · answered by Huey from Ohio 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It may be rough, but if there are people who dissapprove, they shouldn't be at the wedding. Maybe you need to sit down with some family members and explain that your sister is doing what is going to make her happy. If they can have a positive attitude about the marriage and wedding then ask them not to attend. Point out that it is better they are getting married than not getting married at all.
2007-02-20 11:37:37 · answer #2 · answered by blue_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I reallyyyyy feel for you on this. I am coming from personal experience and know alll about the "Dad" thing. I after looking back...they always say 'hindsight is 20/20"...I wish to share what I wish I knew 'then'.
I met "The Man". I was very young and he was a bit older than me. My father simply hated him. With a passion that wouldn't quit. My father had stated numerous times "He's too old for you" "Wait" "He's a lazy bum".
Well, the more Dad said those sorts of things the more it seemed to push me towards "The Man". Dad wasn't the only one, in fact just about every single family member (with exceptions of my sisters) were against this marriage. I didn't care, I was thinking "What do these people know about LOVE!" Fast forward 13 years, a longgggggggggg 13 years. My husband was indeed lazy, too old for me, and in a way domineering.
I think back now and say to self "if only I listened to them I could have saved myself tons of heartache". I post this because due to the Dad and other family members not too thrilled about the upcoming marriage of the two of you, you think perhaps you may want to listen? Just once. If they're wrong, they're wrong. However most people react to things due to their knowledge and experience in human nature. I caution you to take things slowly regarding your sister. I want her (and you too!) to enjoy every moment of the wedding planning, the wedding and the marriage without this sort of albatross hanging around your neck. It simply is a horrible start.
Many hugs
2007-02-20 11:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle_My_Belle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if everyone is negative why don't you hire a comedian to help lighten the mood. make sure you shop around. and at a good price. and play some ambient music at the chapel to help ease the mood.
I surely hope the groom that he is not an old grump. be understanding of the situation. talk to the dad and resolve it if its resolved and he is happy other people will follow suite but.
. if the dad makes a scene you can always lecture him saying its her day and be happy for her don't wreck it for everyone else and say that out loud if you have to. show them you are in control and take charge of the situation be positive and confident . but most importantly be understanding God bless and good luck
2007-02-20 11:44:03 · answer #4 · answered by Elvis 109 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show your dad all the positive things about your sister getting married and show your sister everything is going to work out if she wants it to.
2007-02-20 11:39:06 · answer #5 · answered by ~*! miss "lost in love" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way to handle the situation is to ignore your father's behavior. Just have a good time and let your sister know you support her, even though other family members do not.
2007-02-20 11:35:55 · answer #6 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best advice is just don't invite the people who r negative about it...even if they r family,it's her day hopefully it will be her only wedding..lol...so it should be perfect for her,no one should try to ruin it for her
2007-02-20 11:36:53 · answer #7 · answered by CRYSTAL S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to have one of those "fed-up" screaming moments with your family. You know the type when you tell them all how ridiculous they are all being and that this is the new generation and if they are not happy then they are not welcome. I would throw a hissing fit to let them know how much this truly effects you.
2007-02-20 11:37:14 · answer #8 · answered by jessica 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont invite him..my own grandmother didnt show up to mine because of the same reason..no one needs negativity on hteir wedding day ask him to leave as soon as he gets there
2007-02-20 11:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by Faith 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone needs to slap that man upside the head and tell him to be happy for his daughter. He'll regret being a jerk about it one day.
~Kyle
2007-02-20 11:35:41 · answer #10 · answered by Kyleontheweb 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋