I don't know where to start. I was walking one day with my daughter in my apartment complexes, and this man walks up to me and asks for my number. We went out on a date and formed a friendship. After two months, we officially started seeing one another. This man turned out to be wonderful. He treats me like a princess and he is in love with both my daughter and me. The problem with our relationship is that he is very quiet. He is going through depression, but he says that he has always been shy. Sometimes, it's very hard to talk to him. He doesn't get irritable, but he just can't seem to find the words to say. Last week, he started antidepressant medications and he is going to start therapy. Our relationship is very routine, and we are somewhat limited to what we can do due to my physical disability. He has been wonderful to my daughter and me, but he is also a little clingy. He is not controlling, but when he is with me he shows almost too much affection.
2007-02-20 03:21:18 · 8 answers · asked by aloha_kisses2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We have been together for one year. I'm in love with him, but it hurts me sometimes to see him so sad. He has a lot of issues, but I don't think I should leave him. He had a bad childhood, and he has trouble accepting his past. He has a lot of guilt from the past; consequently, his self esteem is shot. What can I do? I want to support him, but it hurts me to see him so sad at times. My daughter just loves the heck out of him, and he definitely loves her. He is such a gentle spirit, but I'm so confused.
2007-02-20 03:21:32 · update #1
He also doesn't really have any friends or hobbies. He works full-time and goes to school part time, so he doesn't have much time to do anything. I feel like he has made me the center of his world, which is good but bad in many ways.
2007-02-20 03:21:44 · update #2
I don't think this is the best relationship for you and your daughter. I don't believe he is a bad person, its just that he has to deal with those issues he has first. He does need a good friend, someone who he can talk to about things. Maybe thats the problem "not having a social life" Sometimes its good to have people around you and people encouraging you. He needs to find a church home. But to answer your question, I think you should go. It could possibly turn into a problem, he needs and craves a lot of attention. And people like that can become controlling and abusive. He has to deal with his issues first...and then maybe if you still want to be with him and he feels the same..then you two can get back together. But you need space from him so that he can work on that. Just like giving a immature man space so he can grow up...same thing. He really needs to seek some spiritual counseling.
But then again...he does work and go to school he sounds like a overall good man. (a keeper) Even if you stay with him I advise you two to go to church together. And do somethings to add excitment to your relationship. Like the fair, bowling, fun things..things he missed out on his childhood bring it to life. Repair those things that were damage if you love him.
2007-02-20 03:35:44 · answer #1 · answered by SexyBlackFasho 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This person sounds like if you knew him and lived on your own you'd see if he is stable when you dated other people as this is a way to tell if he has deep mental problems.
You know he sounds nice but is too dependent and that usually indicates a person that is going to be very insecure jealous and potentially nice and also possibly a great problem.
Can you afford a private detective if so spend the $200.00 and get a thorough background check for the safety of you and the child you have. Buy the way I'm not looking for business and i am not a private detective.
I've just been watching folks I know go through something and they are both miserable but are dependent on each other sadly
their children now are suffering the bad relationship and they can't afford to get out of it. They are so messed up they have become co-dependent emotionally scared.
2007-02-20 11:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by Yahoouser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, You love him right? he treats you nice and all that good stuff. Ok that's great so what's the problem? All it sounds like is you need to get used to him a little more. As for the medical issues, if you love him you would try and help him out, stick by him and hep him get through it. If you left him because of it you think he'll get any better? Look love is about the GOOD and BAD, if you can learn to love both then you'll have no problems.
2007-02-20 11:33:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to point out the good in him and the good in this relationship.
You need to point out that he needs to forget his past and look to the bright future.
Also, whenever he is down, try to make him happy by giving him a massage or cooking his favorite meal or doing something for him that you know automatically makes him happier.
Another thing, dont tell him hes being too affectionate because sometimes guys show thier love that way, and when you tell them you feel like its too much, they can get depressed.
2007-02-20 11:29:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can so relate to your situation....I married a man who sounds so much like yours, He is better to me than anyone has ever been, yet he is so secretive that some times it does scare me. He hardly ever talks to his previous family, or children, but he does care about me, and he is loyal. Inconparison to so many others I really beleave all his good outwieghs the few flaws. I think you should really give this guy a chance. Good-luck!
2007-02-20 11:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by amanda m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you really do love him then your mind should already be made.
as for his being quiet and down all the time maybe remind him that what really matters is what is going on right now he is going to school for higher education and maybe if he can get over his past problems a new family. If that does not work then maybe he is to trapped in his past to really love you.
2007-02-20 11:36:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a tough one. you know that your primary responsibilities are to yourself and your daughter. if he keeps you from that, then consider life without him. also, it is not your responsibility to heal him. it sounds like he is on the path to that. being with someone like that is very draining. if you love him and think there is a future, or if it is just too much for you, then your decision is more clear.
2007-02-20 11:28:10 · answer #7 · answered by mbs4174 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl hold on to him. if u truely love him u'll stand by his side and b there for him. my boyfriend has a disablilty he passes out for no reason and could pass out one day and not wake up. as scary as that is im still with him and have been with him for about a year. girl stand by yo man.
2007-02-20 11:29:24 · answer #8 · answered by dred_loxx_4life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋