I'm 17 years old, as is my boyfriend. When he was f4, his mom was in a serious accident and has had no use of her right arm and has trouble with her legs. His dad left them when he was very little and wants nothing to do with them. My boyfriend has spent his whole life taking care of his mom and younger sister. Along with his mom's physical disability, she also has a problem spending ridiculous amounts of money on useless things in magazines and on T.V. So they are also in a great deal of debt while their house is covered in little Asian statues and every benie baby on the planet. My boyfriend just couldn't take it anymore so he lives with me now. Last week his mom took a nasty fall and broke 3 bones (including her good arm) Now she's in the hospital for at least another month and the bills haven't been paid in months. My boyfriend is so stressed b/c he feels he must pay the bills. I just don't know what to do. He's 17, this isn't his problem. But what can we do?
2007-02-20 03:19:57 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
wow..thts some story.i guess the best thing to do in these impossible situations is justP
God bless!
2007-02-20 03:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by αd ισι♪ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why has no one on here mentioned his sister? Right now he needs to make sure that his little sister is provided for. Where is she staying while Mom is in hospital? There are many agencies that can help your boyfriend out. In our area, we have an agency called Home Health. The will go to your home and take care of any medical issues. There is also Child Protective Services. Your BF and his sister are both minors, so there are all kinds of benefits that they can get. Your BF needs to notify his school counselor about the situation at Home. While he may feel that he has a moral obligation to take care of his Mom, his first priority must be for himself and his sister. If he can provide for himself financially, he may be able to go to court become emancipated from his Mom, but he still needs to think about his sister.
2007-02-20 03:44:35 · answer #2 · answered by drammy22 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes there is something you can do. There's something you can do in every situation. I believe it is in your boyfriend's conscience to help his family out. If he can't pay the bills now with the money you have then i guess he has to start making more money of his own. Get a part time of full time job or start his own business. For jobs, I think there are a lot out there he can choose from. For business though, there are few he can start with no real risks and can still give you a bit of time freedom. This is really another discussion. If you want further discussion, especially on business, email me. hear_seeker@yahoo.com Hope i helped.
2007-02-20 03:32:54 · answer #3 · answered by J.P. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with allkoei, I would also add that the mother needs to get some professional help and to be placed on medication for bipolar disorder( This is just a suggestion and I am not a professional.)
The honest truth: Your boyfriend is still at a stage where his mother should be taking care of him not vice versa. He may also want to think about getting a guardian or becoming her guardian in order to oversee any monies coming into the house for her care and house upkeep until she gets her act together. I can understand why he doesn't want to leave his mother cold turkey because that is part of the only family this young man has. He needs to express this too her how he feels and why it is important for her to get help with her irresponsiblity towards her son and the family. Good luck to both of you. FYI he may need to kick it off with a giant garage sale to pay off the debts too.
2007-02-20 03:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by calmlikeatimebomb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm...ok well, whatever you did, if you're really sorry you did it then God has definitely forgiven you. You probably feel worthless because you're not at peace with yourself. You are a better person and you need to realize that you have everything to live for. There are so many things to look forward to. Do you want to have a family when you're older? Kids maybe? I personally look forward to that and just life in general. I really get mesmerized just looking up at the sky and seeing how pretty it is, or smelling the smell of wet dirt and tree bark when it rains. i really like that smell. haha. idk why? I also really like music and take pleasure in it. it helps me feel good when im feeling like you are. what youre going through sounds like what i went through myself and music really did help. its a passion. maybe you can find something youre passionate for.i guess u really have to do soul searching. u said u feel like u dnt have a purpose, well u do u just need to find it u know? your mom probably told you what she said because she doesnt want to see you moaping around like you are. its probably frustrating for her. and u said it hurt cuz you knew it was true, well its good u recognize it, now take initiative and try to be positive. look at the good things in life not the bad. the bad stuff is behind you. look at the glass half full not half empty. maybe u think people are boring or something because youre kind of thinking negatively. maybe theyre actually fun cool people if you think about it the right way. u really need to be at peace with yoursel and love yourself first before everything else like having friends again can fall into place. trust me things will fall into place. =D. u are a good person and have many things to accomplish. even if people dont tell u you have a purpose or hope or if u dnt think so urself, i think u do. i hope thats worth something to u. you must have a purpose and be worth a lot if God has u on this Earth still. I'm sure you will be fine and happy. good luck. =D
2016-05-23 22:41:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough love is the only option open to your boyfriend. He needs to talk to his mother and let her know that she has to get herself together. She is going to have to budget her money to pay her own bills. I know it's hard, but he needs a life too. It's not right to ask him to give up his whole life for her and that is just what she is doing. Needing help once in awhile is fine, but she is 100% dependent on him for everything and that isn't fair at all. I am not trying to be cruel. I am just stating facts.
2007-02-20 03:29:09 · answer #6 · answered by allkoei 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly it's not his problem what he needs to is set a payment plan she can afford to pay herself or look for help through christian charities and salvation army and raft and any and all local churches may know of places that can help her out also he may be able to call the the bill collectors explain the situation maybe the can be patient with her for a while if his mother doesn't go over board he can aslo call the mayors line explain the situation and see what programs they have that maybe able to help out his mom
2007-02-20 03:30:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
though he may feel he is responsible, he is not. he can not be held accountable for bills due to his age. social services may sound scary at this point but it may be his only option. does he have any family anywhere that can help him? i don't mean to pay the bills, clearly they wouldn't, but to help him. there are also many services offered through the county. maybe he should start there. if your parents have allowed him to stay in their home perhaps they could help push him in the right direction. i wish i had more advice for you. best of luck to you and him. god bless
2007-02-20 03:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend needs to see a counsellor (guidance counsellor at school?). He is not responsible for his mother's welfare. He was a dutiful son and she took advantage. His mother problably received a payment for her accident and may qualify for disabililty or social security and she needs to learn to live within her means, as well all do. Your boyfriend should see if a local pastor or health department could visit with his mom and try to help her. Good luck to your boyfriend and may God Bless him.
2007-02-20 03:30:14 · answer #9 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for your BF. It's true it's not his problem, but she IS his mother and I'm sure he doesn't just want to walk away from her. Maybe he could convince his mother to sell some of the collectables on Ebay to help pay for a bankruptcy attorney.
2007-02-20 03:32:19 · answer #10 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH MY GOSH!! Ur both 17 and dealing with so much, but you'll make it through it okey.......I cant really put myself in that position, but they have different organizations that may hel you to pay bills, also churches help if times get real hard with food or whatever...
Sorry I'm not much help I guess but I truley hope u make it out okey
email me if u need more help
adrianna_nangle@yahoo.com
2007-02-20 03:31:04 · answer #11 · answered by Adrianna N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋