We broke up because of his committment phobic issues. He called me and told me what is going on in his life. I didn't want to hear it, I lost it and told him how much he hurt me...how much I don't want to know about what is going on in his life. He was an hour away and drove to see me. He was crying...actually told me he loved me...he never did beforel Now what do I do? What does the crying mean? Should I believe him? Deep down I know he is the one for me...but I can't go through the hurt I went through before.
Additional Details
2 hours ago
Update: I fell in love with him. It seemed like he felt the same...everything was perfect. Then he started treating me really bad, like never taking me around anyone. Enough was enough. So when I told him how bad he hurt me that is when he cried. He said he didn't realize how much I loved him and then he told me he loved me. And it was hard for him to say it....I have no idea why he has a problem saying it. Help!
2007-02-20 03:01:00 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You were right to break up...don't back down. If you continue this relationship he will cry... every time he hurts you and you threaten to break up. AND the cycle will continue.
2007-02-20 03:07:06 · answer #1 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well, I would say to find out what is going on in his life. Guys are taught from a very young age to not show emotions, it's very tough for us to say those 3 words. If he has a problem with committing, perhaps there is a reason for it and it would do you good to know what the reason is. You'll find out if he's a psycho or if there really is a problem there that you can help with. Rebuilding is hard and takes work, if you know he's the right one then put in the work and you'll get rewarded.
WARNING: He has to be willing to put in the work also, or you are wasting your time.
Being in a relationship is all about talking through all the stupid little things, once you can do that, the big things seem trivial.
2007-02-20 03:09:12 · answer #2 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with a guy crying, they're human too, so that's completely irrelevant. Not all people throw the words "I love you" around like candy. Some people will only say it if they truly feel it. Perhaps this is the case with him. To be honest you sound like you're the one who is giving mixed signals. First you wanted nothing to do with him, you didn't even want to hear about what was going on with him, but when he told you he loved you, oh miracle of miracles you were suddenly in love with him. No wonder the guy is crying, they're probably tears of confusion.
Relationships are never perfect, and they involve compromise. It doesn't always have to be about you.
2007-02-21 04:14:43 · answer #3 · answered by ♪ ♫Jin_Jur♫ ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is like they have split personalities isn't it? This sort of man loves only himself and the thought of loving someone else causes them serious resentment. The crying jag you bf went on was 'cause it hurt to hear the truth about himself, not because he hurt you...don't fall for it. I spent two wonderful days playing house with my boyfriend last week; he was very affectionate, loving and attentive. Sunday we took a drive and stopped for a bite to eat on the way home. He became abusive and kept snarling and giving me this god-awful look of contempt. He then started the silent treatment, refusing my attempts to communicate. I got a brief e-mail the next day that said he was tired and bored with the relationship and to cease all attempts to communicate with him. I was reeling. The next logical step in our relationship would have been marriage or at least setting up house...this, I think is why he turned ugly. Good riddance.
2007-02-20 03:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys find it easy to say "I love you" and others it's like pulling teeth. It has to do with their not wanting to feel vulnerable or open to hurt and criticism. He has issues but I think you can work them out with him. Perhaps he has relationships in the past that went badly and his heart was broken. Perhaps he likes living the single life and doesn't want to be tied down, he wants to go off and do his own thing, go out with his friends, watch sports and hang out all day in his boxers eating Spagetti-O's out of the can. But I think if he groveled for you then he must love you, and if you feel that he's for you.. then you have the start of something, it sounds promising. Good luck and don't give up (yet.)
2007-02-20 03:08:14 · answer #5 · answered by ♪ ♫ ☮ NYbron ☮ ♪ ♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This does not sound like a good relationship. It sounds like he has emotional problems in his home life. There is nothing wrong with crying in front of your girlfriend, but he seems to do so at strategic times. He also says he loves you at strategic times. These are not normal behaviors in a caring man.
Also, he seemed wonderful when you met him and changed when he knew you were hooked. That is always a sign of a man who is an abuser. The charm comes on and turns off once he has the prize.
I would say that you should break it off with him and find someone who respects you.
Take care,
Troy
2007-02-20 03:07:17 · answer #6 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should both take your time, his anti-commitment issues are clearly affecting his self esteem and your relationship. You can toss around the world "love" till the cows come home. But if he does mean it, it will mean time and commitment to see this relationship through to the end.
2007-02-20 03:04:53 · answer #7 · answered by di12381 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably was not loved enough as a child. Also he's a man, and they say its hard for men to express their feelings.
2007-02-20 03:15:25 · answer #8 · answered by Budman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don think you should believe him, he had the intension to leave u before, why wont he get that intension again? if i am in your situation, i will never accept him, even if he cries, don think that i am stone hearted, but i know a guy who went behind another girl when he was in love with a girl and their relationshiop was going fine, one fine day the girl came to know the truth and grilled him to spit out the truth finally he told that he was infatuated towards the other girl,, and cried and apologised, she accepted, him back, but later, he went behind another girl and left her, dumped her saying reasons like she is not fit, etc, don believe guy's cries
2007-02-20 03:08:21 · answer #9 · answered by vaidehi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds like a sissy lol just kidding
its one of those cases where you don't miss what you have till its gone...if he keeps mistreating you..dump him because he isnt toing to change....Give him a second chance but tell him that want to be treat right and if it doesnt work that will be it...no more chances...good luck
2007-02-20 03:06:25 · answer #10 · answered by Curiously 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋