me and my husband have three kids, 5, 3, and 8 months old...i am a stay at home mom and my mother-in-law does not work either...my father-in-law does but he is usually home by 3 in the afternoon...ok now my kids love them very much but they never come over to see them and when they do the only reason for the visit is either a holiday or they need to drop something off or pick something up...they never come over just to see the kids and im afraid that my kids are going to start noticing that and ask why...they are not in the greatest health but they do go to see my husbands grandpa every week (he lives in the next town past us, so further away), which im happy that they do that, he needs company too but why cant they come see their grandkids sometimes too...i tried for a month (a couple months ago) to go visit her but she would always call me and say that we couldnt come over...im afraid the kids are going to think they dont love them and im afraid to say anything, what should i do?
2007-02-20 03:00:06 · 6 answers · asked by MommyofThree 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your children are quite young and therefore, probably quite active and noisy (as is natural). Your inlaws may not be able to tolerate a lot of noice and activity. My own parents had a very involved relationship with my older brothers and sisters' kids but with my children the relationship didn't really start to bind until they were older and were out of the kid stage. My children now have a great relationship with my parents and help them as often as they can (my oldest daughter takes her grandma shopping and cleans her house for her) and my younger daughter can stay at grandmas when she is home from school because she can occupy herself. Try to understand, some people and circumstances, don't promote a good relationship with younger children but that can change with age. Try to explore with your inlaws if this is indeed the case and work on ways to involve them thru videos or something where the exposure would be limited and more productive and well received. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-02-20 03:12:08 · answer #1 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. Since none of us can peer into someones mind, we can only guess. Is it possible that the GP's are A) Wanting to give the decent amount of space/time to your hubby and his family? B) That they just aren't feeling that great? C) Your MIL declined visit because wasn't feeling well or the house wasn't pick up....OR it was **** and span clean and kiddos mess it up D) They actually probably had their fair share of kids and frankly the grandkids annoy them.
None of these are the world's greatest answer. I truly feel your pain. However this is not something that you can fix. As difficult as that is, we can't fix this, girl! The children are still at a young age they don't see the world in adult eyes and frankly they might not ever. Some GP are best heard and not seen. Seems like that is what your inlaws are. Does this make them bad people? No! It does make it very difficult on you because your may be overthinking things, making more into something that does not exsist. And if it does, well...again...you can't fix this. It's apparent you've tried, why kill yourself?
Continue to be the sweet self you are, and continue to keep that 'open door' policy for the GP's but back off, it's not worth an ulcer over.
2007-02-20 03:14:59 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle_My_Belle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I've got the same problem with mine. They called by the other sunday and sat for 45 mins with their jackets on and had a cuppa. Also they met my youngest in the shop with my mother and they didn't recognise him even though they saw us the day before and we had told them he was going to be staying with my mum for the night!!
Do nothing, kids will make their own mind up. Obviously never stop them from coming or you going to see them but you can't make them have a relationship with them.
P/s They are both retired and have been for a few years now and they golf but apart from that they don't do a huge amount. They enjoy looking at houses and shopping!
2007-02-20 03:07:09 · answer #3 · answered by KANGA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi maybe they dont like to think there interfering in your life ,maybe your mum in law had a bad experience with her mother and didnt want to make the same mistake ,or maybe they have busy lives of their own ,you wouldnt really want her at your home alot of the time that would get on your nerves !!as long as you say they are welcome round anytime theres not much more you can do ,it sounds like you might not have alot of company ,get out more meet new people ,the kids wont ask questions ,they might if they had had alot of time with their grandparents and suddenly it stopped ,you cant make them come round its their loss xx
2007-02-20 03:35:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont trip mommy.....I lived only 20min from my mother in law and she always complaining that she wanted to come over to see the kids......b/s..............we lived 20 min. Her excuse was my mother....that they couldn't get along.....now we live 2 hours away and she still complains about not seeing kids...her excuse is;...you live to far.......what ever, i told my husband if they want to see the kids let them come over......its just an inconvinience to her to drive or travel any distance.........she's nuts. My mother travels in public transportation 3 hours to come see the kids almost everyday.......its all b/s.
2007-02-20 03:29:52 · answer #5 · answered by Funnie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but your gonna have to leave this up to the kids and let them decide if and when they want to see them you cant force a relationship with them I'm sorry to say x
2007-02-20 03:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by andrea.barrett36 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋