What is your favorite joke??

Question

Make me laugh the most and you get the "best answer" thing

Answer 1

"Uh...too tired to answer this question ~ my mum will get angry if she finds out that I'm still online in this late night!"

Answer 2

This is a funny one i once read online

Just a reminder........

Why Parents Have Gray Hair

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

Answer 3

a women goes into the pub
buys a nip of scotch and a pint of beer
Lifts up her skirt and throws the scotch up there
she walks away and drinks the beer
later she again buys a nip of scotch and a pint of beer
and throws the scotch up her skirt
the bar tenderwondering why is always doing this and asks her why
her answer
its the only c*** around here that im gonna share a drink with

Answer 4

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the he11 off now...cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train...cause we're going down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train...but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say...
"All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added,
"For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b*tch in the kitchen...."

Answer 5

Hillery for President........That is the best joke of the centuary so far

Answer 6

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest to deliver a picnic basket to her gramma.

Before heading out, her mom tells her, "Little Red Riding Hood, be careful. The Big Bad Wolf is out there and he will pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and f*ck your little red socks off."

Little Red Riding Hood takes a shotgun out of the closet and puts it next to her and says, "It's ok, I can handle it."

So, Little Red Riding Hood starts out on her journey. First she runs into the Three Bears.

They say, "Little Red Riding Hood, what are you doing out here all alone? Don't you know the Big Bad Wolf is out here and he's gonna pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and f**k your little red socks off?"

To which Red Riding Hood shows them the shotgun and says, "It's ok, I'm covered."

So, Red Riding Hood continues on, and sees the Three Little Pigs.

They say, "Little Red Riding Hood, what are you doing out here alone? The Big Bad Wolf is out and when he finds you he's gonna pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and f**k your little red socks off."

Red Riding Hood again, pulls out the gun and says "I'll be alright".

So, Red Riding Hood is walking and she sees none other but the Big Bad Wolf.
The Wolf says , "Little Red Riding Hood, I have found you! I'm gonna pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and f**k your little red socks off".

Red Riding Hood pulls up her little red dress, pulls down her little red panties, lays down on the ground, points the gun at the Wolf and says "NO. You're gonna EAT ME like the BOOKS says!"