And try to keep it clean, please. Best one gets 11 points before the day is through.
ready...set...GO......
2007-02-20 02:45:03 · 4 answers · asked by F-1 says KISS IT! 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Well, you make it tough with that "keep it clean" thing, but here are a couple of "G" rated jokes you might find funny, assuming you're not a blonde. But then again, if you were blonde, you'd have a tough time reading them anyway.
Three men were sitting together bragging about how
they had given their new wives duties.
The first man had married a Woman from Montana and
had told her that she was going to do dishes and house
cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day
he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and
put away.
The second man had married a woman from Oregon. He
had given his wife orders that she was to do all the
cleaning, dishes, and the cooking.
The first day he didn't see any results, but the next
day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his
house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was
a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a girl from Texas. He told
her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned,
dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and
hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the
first day he didn't see anything, the second day he
didn't see anything, but by the third day some of
the swelling had gone down and he could see a little
out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to
eat and load the dishwasher.
A man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a
while, he calls to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional
weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
blonde joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
"No........ not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Hope your day improves.
2007-02-20 03:13:55 · answer #1 · answered by Knowitall 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A nurse was on duty in the emergency department, when a punk rocker entered.
This young woman had purple hair styled into a mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing.
It was determined that the patient had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it was a tattoo reading, ''Keep off the grass.''
After the prep and the surgery, the surgeon added a small note to the dressing which said, ''Sorry, had to mow the lawn.''
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An 8 yr old boy walks home from school each day passing an 8 yr old girl's house.
One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up his football and says, "See this football? Football is a boys' game, and only boys can have a football."
The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, "I want a football." Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on his bike.
She holds up the football and says, "Nah Na Nah Nah". The little boy angrily points to his bike and says, "Oh yeah, well this is a boy's bike and only boys get boy's bikes and you can't have one."
She runs into the house for her mom. The next day the little girl is waiting for the boy on her new boy's bike.
The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants and pointing to his most private of parts and says "Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!"
The next day he walks by and asks her, "Well I guess I showed you," to which she promptly pulls up her dress, points to her parts. The little girl proclaims, "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"
2007-02-20 02:53:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God, can you believe that my daughters friend actually had some name referring to blondes rule the wold as her MSN name and had a password as Blond!!! Its so true, my daughter had to change her password for her as someone hacked into her friends MSN account!! Its true, I cannot believe it!! I have read so many blond jokes lately, but this is 100% true!!
2007-02-20 09:37:51 · answer #3 · answered by RAGGYPANTS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
three blondes and a brunette are in a boat and the boat tips over.
they go flying down the river until they get to a tree branch that they can hold on to.
the tree branch can only hold three people ,however, so one person has to let go.
the brunette decides she will be the one to let go but before she lets go she gives a speech.
she talks about her family and friends and says how much she loves them and how much she will miss them.
when she is done the blondes clap.
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there is a blonde and a brunette in a boat and it tips over.
the blonde swims to one side and the brunette to the other side.
the brunette and the blonde goes looking for food on their side.
the brunnette find food and yells to the blonde, "come over here. theres food on the other side"
the blonde yells back to her and says, "duh i am on the other side"
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there is a little boy in a kindergarden class who has to go pee.
his teacher says he can as long as he says his abc's.
so he does. a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.
the teachers noticing he forgot the p asks him, "where is the p?''
the boy replies,"running down my leg."
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a blonde, brunette, and a red head are getting ready to be executed by being shot.
it is the brunettes turn to be excuted first but before she can be she yells "flood" so everyone looks and she gets away.
it is the red heads turn to be excuted but before she can be she yells "tornado" so everyone looks and she gets away.
it is the blondes turn to be excuted but before she can be she yells "fire."
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you are so ugly... well just look at you mom.
your mom is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
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2007-02-20 03:03:43 · answer #4 · answered by tinker_bell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋