i need advice, what shall i do?

Question

what would you do if you were cleaning your sons room and found anti-depresants , hes 23 years old so i cant pry to much as hes a adult but on the other hand hes still my son
hes never told me hes depressed he seems fine
but there must be something wrong
should i ask him or wait till he tells me why

Answer 1

Dont get involved...he is obviously dealing with it..or maybe he is a drug dealer.

Answer 2

First of all, why are you cleaning his room to begin with, HE IS 23 YEARS OLD, he should be doing that but that isn't the issue. I will be 24 this year and I have been on an anti-depressant now for a year and a half and still haven't told my parents. I have my own place though and have since I was 17 so maybe I don't feel the need to tell them just like I don't tell them a lot of other personal issues I have. I'm not proud to be on an anti-depressant. I went to a doctor because I was having crying spells and couldn't explain why and I also noticed that my mood was always the same, it didn't matter what I did, I was just always grumpy and I didn't want to live like that. I have never had suicidal thoughts and I wouldn't consider myself depressed I just had some weird moods that I couldn't explain. If I were you I would not confront him about it, just randomly go up to him and hug him, tell him you love him and you are always there for him no matter what.

Answer 3

Hi,

I myself am 23 and suffer from depression although i dont take anything for it! Im to scared anti-depressents I have heard so much about them! All i can say is that he would probaly love for you to ask him if everything is ok, he may have even left the tablets out for you to find.

Maybe he feels lonely, sit him down and explain you will always be there to talk no matter what. There is nothing wrong with taking Anti-depressents, maybe he feels a little bit embarassed, reassure him that its ok!

He may not want to talk to you but at least he will know you are there and if he ever needs you, you will be there no matter what!

Also you can now keep an eye on things and just make sure he isnt getting into deeper depression or getting to dependent on the Anti's!

Goodluck and I hope you sort everything out, He is lucky to have you!

Answer 4

He is twenty-three years old and will discuss his problems with you if he wants to. You are right not to pry others knowing he is depressed may well exacerbate the problem. He has obviously seen a doctor who is treating his depression and you should respect his privacy.
I know that it is easy to say and very much harder to do because all of us Mums want to help and solve our children's problems but in this case you could do more harm than good. Wait and see whether or not he wants to speak about it and if he doesn't leave well alone. Just be there if he needs you and remember you are obviously a good Mum so you will have given him a caring, loving childhood which he can now fall back on for strength.

Answer 5

i ask the question that someone else asked: how come u are cleanin a 23 year old's room? he's an adult, that's his responsibility.

he's ur son so u should work to develop a close relationship with him so that he can feel confident talkin to u about sensitive issues, knowing that u would not go over the top. don't ask him outright about this cos he may feel u are invadin his privacy. spend time from now on talking to him, (if u don't do this already) and hopefully as u talk, he will soon open up and tell u.

Answer 6

If it were my son I would just say that whilst cleaning your room I found these anti-depressants. Tell him that you don't mean to pry, but that you are concerned and ask him to talk to you about what it is that is making him depressed. Don't force him to tell you, but say that you are always there for him if and when he feels he want to talk to you. I would leave it at that. The fact that he knows that you are aware of him taking the anti depressants may open up the door for discussion. Best of luck.

Answer 7

It depends on what sort of relationship you have with your son, I have a 23 year old son as well, he doesn't live with me but still has his own room for when he comes home to visit, and i still clean his room, if I was in your position I could ask my son no problems if he was ok, but then we have a great relationship and I think he would open up to me and ask for help if he needed it. good luck.

Answer 8

You are right, he is an adult and if he wanted to come to you by now he would have. You really should be thankful that he recognized he needed help and sought and got it. You may try to contact a therapist for a consultation to find ways you yourself can look for signs he's not taking his medicine or falling further into depression or other ways to keep him out of it. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 9

No wonder he is depressed. He lives at home and his mum still cleans his room. A lad that age needs his independence - you could encourage him to get a place of his own - distraction is usually a good cure for mild depression - I assume its mild as its not apparent. Setting up on his own will give him lots to think about.

Answer 10

Sit down with him and ask him is there anything he would like to talk to you about. Make sure he knows that youre there for him and he can talk to you about anything. Try and stay as calm as possible and make sure he knows you werent prying in his room or anything because he could get upset with you and end up not speaking to you at all

Answer 11

The decision is yours
a? Be honest tell him what you found and ask him but be aware that yes you will have broken his privacy and he may be hurt but you have shown your love and hopefully he will let you help him

b? Say nothing and hope for the best, whilst worring yourself sick over his health and inso doing make yourself ill, he may have a totaly innocent reason and no need to worry, the choice is yours but I know which one i would take. Best of luck