I have taken care of my daughter since she was 1month old she is now 8 months. Her biological mother had no part in her life but i occasionally talked to her because we are related. My husband and I are in the process of adopting her.She told me who the father was but he is into drugs and stuff and so is she. Shayna was born with withdrawls. I have recently heard that she is getting money from the father for Shayna, I have not received any money from her at all. Now the father wants to see Shayna and I don't know what to do. Should i let him see her?
2007-02-20 02:38:37 · 10 answers · asked by honeydew4514 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The reason i mentioned the money is that she is getting it telling him that she has Shayna, and now he wants to see Shay, The mother called me and said her daddy wants to see her, but she doesn't know i know everything. I don't care about the money i just want them to leave her alone really.
2007-02-20 03:14:42 · update #1
Are you the legal foster mother? If so , contact the agency you are dealing with to handle the matter as it sounds like it is a legal matter here. If you have not legally adopted her yet, does he still have rights to her? Did he sign any documents relinquishing his rights? If not, and he actually is the father, then he has a right to see her, however, that does NOT mean you have to go along with the act if you feel it will not be safe for any of you. I WOULD NOT allow the birthmother to take her for a period of time so that he can visit. Sounds very risky to me.
2007-02-21 01:25:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very important that you discuss this with the lawyer who's handling your adoption case.
At the moment, you don't know that this man is your daughters father so a lawyer would likely counsel you to have him take a dna test prior to bringing him into your daughter's life. However, if you know for a fact he's the father, you'll need him to sign off on the adoption which could cause problems for you and your daughter. The fact that the father has been giving support money (even though it's to the wrong person) would give him a lot of standing if he were to decide to take custody so it's vital that you get your advice from your lawyer and not from Yahoo answers :)
I wish you all the luck in the world.
2007-02-20 11:09:09 · answer #2 · answered by Canadian_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no dont!! he may affect the process of the adoption and the women is causing trouble for you by taking the money so if i was you i would tell the father that she has no contact with the lil girl..
If i was you i would try loose contact with her all together because there really not good for your daugther and if i was you i would try get some legal standing so you have the law on your side because...
if she continues getting money she may want the child back just to keep getting the money.
and if you let the father see her then he may decide against the adoption and try take her....
When you adopt a child the parents give up there rights so your all the parents she needs
2007-02-20 10:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not have contact with either of the birth parents. It's time for everyone to have their own lawyers, and you need to do what the judges tell you to do.
Their lawyers will have to talk to your lawyer. When they call you don't have to answer the phone. If the show up at your house do not open the door. Do not allow either of them to see the baby unless it is ordered by a judge.
The money the birth mother is getting from the babies father is between the two of them. The birth father isn't going to give you money to support his child AFTER you adopt her, so don't get involved with that now. Leave that alone. Forget it.
Since you are in the process of adopting they will have to get their own lawyers to deal with it. I would not give them ANY
information about the baby. Do not tell them one thing about your progress in the adoption process. Do not ask for money from them, their lawyers could use that against you or a judge could be led to believe you cannot support the baby.
You need to separate yourself from both them for good. Worry about the baby being adopted and do what your lawyer tells you to do.
2007-02-20 11:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say let him see her but make sure you are there.but make it clear tha he cant be under the influence of drugs. also if you let him, state that you are not recieving money and maybe ther twoof you could make a plan. make sure someone bigger and stronger is there you dont want him coming in and then takign the child away. also dont let the father call himself daddy. 8 months shayna will be scared ofstrangers so maybe wait till shayna is older
2007-02-20 10:50:15 · answer #5 · answered by miraclebaby_2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is still using......NO!!!!! And if he is not, let him visit....short and supervised. And let him make the move, dont persue them. Let them make the effort. Coming from a woman that was a product of 2 addicted parents, allow them to come into her life when they get there stuff together and you have some proof of them doing so....treatment, etc. Trust me, if he is using, dont subject Shayna to that.....she will be better off without knowing who he is, esp. if he is using. I commend you for adopting her and raising her as your own.......she clearly needs that parental guidance and nuturing that she would not get from her biological parents. Far as the child support, you will never see that. Trust me dope addicts will not give up any money UNLESS its to the dope dealer......Good Luck and will keep you guys in my prayers.
2007-02-20 10:50:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has the right to see his daughter. After all he is the biological parent. However try to go to court and tell the judge that he does drugs. Then he won't be allowed to see the child.
2007-02-20 13:00:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO I would give him a chance, he might of straightened up. You dont want your daughter to be mad at you when shes older for not giving it a chance. But i would definitally meet up with him first to talk to him and see what he is like, if he has the best interest of your daughter in mind he will understand that you need to make sure she is getting a good influance or not introduced to a bad one. But if he seems like "hes trying" I would definitally let him come see her when he wants to on the weekends and what not. Really its not his fault that the bio mother did drugs and what not. Yeah he might of done them in the past but people can change :) I doubt he is going to try to take her. Meet him somewhere public like mcdonalds or something, expecally if he doesnt know where you live, not only that but i doubt he will act out in public.
2007-02-20 10:50:33 · answer #8 · answered by chrystal_lynn2002 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no becaue a crazy guy like him can do any thing to take her away from u... so u gotta be care full and if he just wants to see her he has to be in good conditions ;)
2007-02-20 10:46:58 · answer #9 · answered by Thelma t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should let him see her but only if you or your husband is there
2007-02-20 10:53:35 · answer #10 · answered by miss2chi_town 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋