This guy really likes me and I think he's the sweetest guy that I've ever met. I'm not really attracted to him. He isn't the type that I would normally go for, but maybe that's my problem, I seem to go for the wrong ones. He is always there when I need him. We hang out quite a bit and I know that he's starting to like me more and more as time goes by. I don't know how to get past looking at what's on the outside of him and liking him for what's in the inside. I look at him say if he looked better I'd be heaven. I'm not a shallow person, I'm very sweet and open hearted. I think this is something people ofter go through. But I would like to get over it.
2007-02-20 02:29:23 · 24 answers · asked by qtiequawn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is 30 and I'm 23.
2007-02-20 02:29:48 · update #1
We have known eachtother for 2 years.
2007-02-20 02:38:03 · update #2
Okay... I'm not conerned about age... I've been out on my own for 4 years and doing quite well in the military. I put the age so I wouldn't get answers thinking that I'm a kid. He hasn't found someone yet because he is waiting on the right one and he happens to think it's me. I'm not saying I'm ready to settle down, but is there something wrong with finding the right one for myself? Growing with that person then pursuing something later on?
2007-02-20 03:15:41 · update #3
See i guess you would just have to not really pay attention to whats on the outside and if you see and know that hes there for you when you need it and hes really sweet and that all the guys that you go for that seem like your type are the wrong ones then take a chance.. and just see how it goes i took that chance and the guy i go with is the sweetest guy and turned out to have everything i look for in a guy and plus hes cute.. but that doesnt really matter its the little things he does like being there for me when i need him or him being able to tell when something is seriously wrong when i dont show it.. its just the little things ya know.. take a chance.. and see where it gets you
2007-02-20 02:36:19 · answer #1 · answered by URKA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he is trying hard, you are so out of his league! Physical attraction is a must prior to pursuing a deeper relationship with anyone. When looking at a man you are seeing him firstly for his physical appearance and the offspring he could provide (or whether or not you are attracted to him to the point where this could be a possibility).
However, there are good things about blah guys as well..... you never have to worry about them cheating on you, what they don't have in looks they usually make up for in personality, because they are out of your league they give it their all to be with you, etc.
But he is 30 and single and you are much younger... if he hasn't found someone by now maybe there is a reason? You are still young, are you ready to settle? Can you imagine yourself settling with this guy knowing that there are so many more fish in the sea that may be more compatible with you on all levels?
2007-02-20 03:01:11 · answer #2 · answered by Betty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without being blatant and hurting his feelings, make subtle suggestions to him as to how he could improve his looks/overall appearance. If her wears a mullet, suggest to him spiking it with highlights. If he’s chubby, suggest weight loss. If he has bad skin, suggest a dermatologist.
Looks are only skin deep. If you can figure out how to get the messages to him without hurting his feelings, he may get the hint. If he know you would like to see some suggested changes, he may take it upon himself to do it for you, and himself.
I see this all the time walking through malls: hot women walking around with men who look like train wrecks. The general impression is usually lack of a women’s self esteem. Looking closer, it appears some women see through the looks and place more value on what’s inside the train wreck.
If looks mean more to you than happiness, you have issues. Would you rather be with a hot looking guy that treats you like a piece of meat?
If you both happy, work it out. If you can’t get over the looks, don’t play him like a fiddle. Let him move on to someone that doesn’t have blinders on.
2007-02-20 02:45:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There has to be some chemistry - humans are made that way. Everyone has different ideas of what physical attractiveness is, so someone will find him very attractive if you don't. Just be friends, and make sure if he likes someone else, you don't suddenly decide you DO want him after all. Be fair. And don't give him any ideas of possibilities other than friends. Sometimes we do come to find someone attractive after we know them and they are great people, but other times not. You can't make yourself get over it.
2007-02-20 02:35:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all age doesn't matter. If you want to look past the physical appearance you have to look at the man's heart. Ask him what he does in his spare time, what is his favourite pastime what in the world would he change if he had to power to do it. Look at his interests and be interested in them. Be a good listener and a great friend. You just have to look at his heart, let your heart guide you. Its a beautiful thing to know whats important to any person and see their heart for what it really is. Take care Heather
2007-02-20 02:34:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look at your past interests that you followed through on.......perhaps it's time you try something different.
So what, he may not be attractive, he may not be hunkie, or a tv star.........but he will be there for you, he won't let you down, he will be dependable, compassionate.......He will be the kind of guy you will be looking for in about 2-3 years, when you realize looks aren't everything, looks fade. Age sets in, and looks disappear......and what keeps you young is warmth of the heart.....inner beauty, and in most cases, it takes time to see it, and as you see more and more of the inner beauty.....the physical imprefections fade.......and you have to squint to see them.
2007-02-20 02:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just be friends with him for a while. I've been friends with girls I didn't think were that good looking. But the more there inner beauty shown, the more it affected there outer beauty. It's amazing how that works but I believe it does. No need to go fast.
2007-02-20 02:34:02 · answer #7 · answered by whatever 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just need to focus on the feelings that he gives you instead of what he looks like. I know exactly where you are coming from. You just need think of your security with him as far as him always being there for you and never trying to hurt you. Honestly as you get to know him better and see the beauty inside it will make him more attractive to you. Focus on his little quarks that nobody else knows about him. This will help you bond with him and give you something to share with him that nobody else can.
2007-02-20 02:36:10 · answer #8 · answered by Shmesh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you got it wrong, just because somebody is a nice person it doesn't mean that love should be there, love has nothing to do with inner or outer beauty. Love just happens. I don't think that you were in love with wrong people, you were just attracted to them and that is normal. It's in our nature to get attracted to physically good looking people to continue "good strong gene".
Don't force yourself, when the right person comes along you'll fall in love and everything will fall in place from good looks to good heart.
2007-02-20 02:37:45 · answer #9 · answered by enya0301 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
give him a chance, im that kind of guy, and one of my Friends that was a girl, i liked, for about 5 years, then i started writing secret notes to her, when she found out it was me, i was rejected really bad, and till now I'm not the same person, this guy probably wakes up every morning thinking about you, thinking about your smile, thinking that you are the most beautiful person in this earth, this person admires alot, give him a chance, even if its for a week you ll notice an attitude change, then hell feel more confident and hell be with other girls.
2007-02-20 02:35:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋