I just started chatting with this guy Ryan on the internet I am really into him...however I was artificially inseminated and I am 9 weeks pregnant. I havent said anything to him about anything. We meet this coming Friday. I am not showing yet but if thing progress well he's going to notice the belly. How do I tell him and do you think he will freak out? We just started talking and everything 3 weeks ago. When we started chatting I told him I wasnt really looking to meet anyone or anything and well we have really grown to like each other.
Please serious answers only! Thanks.
2007-02-20 02:19:11 · 13 answers · asked by cute_aurora_gal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Any advice on how I should tell him?
2007-02-20 02:27:43 · update #1
Well, the longer you wait the harder it will be, both to hide it and to tell him.
I would wait until after you meet him for the first time. If things go well, then you'll need to tell him. If they don't go well then you won't have to worry about it.
Hopefully, they go well and then all you'll have to do is figure out how to talk to him about it. You've been communicating for awhile and you say you've grown to like each other, so you must be able to talk fairly easily.
I don't think this is something that you just want to blurt out. I would even start by rehearsing what you want to say. You'll need to be prepared to explain why you chose to do this.
You'll need to make sure the conversation is non-presumptive and low on pressure for him. You must understand that he may freak out, a little or a lot, and may even not want to continue a relationship. I hope he does not choose that, but if he does you have to understand that it's his right. So if you prepare yourself mentally for that, and make sure that during the conversation he doesn't feel trapped, then you'll be a lot better off. I could imagine you saying something like "things went well, and I really like you, so I knew I needed to tell you now before I grew to like you even more. I understand if you're freaked out".
I wouldn't wait too long after meeting him in person to tell him, but telling him on Friday might be a little too soon. It might put too much pressure on him since it will be the first time you're meeting in person.
Overall, if you've been communicating well and seem to get along great, then you'll just need to be open and honest and hope for the best! Good luck with it.
2007-02-20 02:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by wa-webguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest meeting him first. Sometimes people don't hit it off in person the same as internet chat. And then wait and see if you meet again a second time. Then you need to tell him. I think it is easier to tell him about having done artifical insemination than having had sex with someone. And if he freaks, he freaks. Then he doesn't fit into your life right now, as you are going in a certain direction (parenthood) that may not be for him. Also, don't jump ahead too far. Right now I presume you are meeting to see if you can be just friends? At least, that would be wise.
2007-02-20 10:26:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there is no other person in your life? I don't understand why you were "artificially inseminated". Usually couples that can't have children do that as a last resort.
You obviously wanted a baby so I would tell him flat out before you meet him. Don't waste his time if you aren't going to be straight up with him from the beginning. If its true that you were artificially inseminated, then this baby means more to you than any guy.
2007-02-20 10:27:41 · answer #3 · answered by moobiemuffin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either you can tell him first, and risk him either standing you up, or canceling the meeting, or wait until you meet to say anything to him. I'd say the sooner the better. I mean, you were inseminated a month and a half before meeting him. He may just see you as someone looking online for a daddy of the baby, and he may not be up to the job.
2007-02-20 10:26:56 · answer #4 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should tell him. Honesty is best and tell him the truth & that you only want to be honest with him and have grown to like him. Tell him and find out how he feels. He may freak out, but that does not mean you should not tell him. Hopefully, things will turn out positively if it is meant to be. Otherwise, be prepared to lose him. For you cannot hide that fact soon & telling him now is better than later for the both of you before things get too serious. Good luck.
2007-02-20 10:27:05 · answer #5 · answered by Bugsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be honest with him. There is nothing wrong what you have done, you have just taken steps to have a child and fulfil your needs. I am trying to get pregnant and i know how strong that desire to have a baby is. If he likes you then a baby shouldnt matter. If he does mind then at least he cant blame you 3 months down the road and accuse you of being dishonest. You risk both getting hurt because you will have got to know eachother. Start with a clean slate, you have nothing to be ashamed of x
2007-02-20 10:25:45 · answer #6 · answered by British*Bird 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know him--you just met on the internet. You are too complicated and are already bringing weird baggage into a first meeting, and that's a major red flag.
My advice to him would be run away. I don't think you're ready for dating because you're mixed up and have other stuff going on along with unrealistic expectations about what it means to meet somebody.
2007-02-20 10:30:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you met him yet? Are you two talking on the phone? Think about this...if you haven't met him yet, then you two still have a lot of sharing to do. You may not like who he really is, so what is the harm in just telling him? Just come right out and tell him. It is who you are, and if he doesn't like that, then why would you be talking to him?
2007-02-20 15:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by Keep It Sane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why hide something like that? It's like your denying your child for some dude who you don't even know if he's going to be around next month.
Your loyalty is to your unborn child, not this internet fling. Tell him ASAP. Have some dignity.
2007-02-20 10:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him ASAP, like at that first meeting. You don't want to invest anymore feeling into him if he's just going to ultimately run away. Besides, he might be fine with it.
Yea, worse case scenario he's NOT fine with it. Then he's got to go anyway... right?
2007-02-20 10:23:55 · answer #10 · answered by doggiemom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋