Ok...so we have a new girl in our department. She started the beginning of December. We were told that because of her religious beliefs, we were not permitted to have a gift exchange (we have been doing this the whole 7 years I have been in this dept).
This month, it was our supervisor's birthday...I brought in a card and cake for her, everyone signed but the new girl, who brought it over to my desk, threw it down and looked at me like i had grown a 2nd head and said "You people offend me - I do not celebrate this type of thing".
I think everyone has a right to whatever religion they choose, but I don't feel that she should try to force her beliefs on everyone else in the department and told her that (but I wasn't rude about it)...she can choose not to participate, and that is fine, but that everyone else has the right to participate. She told me off, and complained to our boss about me...I got a "talking to".
I don't think I was wrong, what do you think??
2007-02-20 02:16:53 · 22 answers · asked by Niffer 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Side bar...we do the gift exchange as a departmental lunch...so is not during work.
For the birthdays, a card is passed around, we get around the b/day person, sing, they cut the cake, serve it, we all go back to our desks to eat...takes less than 10 minutes, so that is considered our "break" that afternoon.
2007-02-20 02:25:50 · update #1
And I didn't hand her the card, I don't know who did...she just brought it back to me...
2007-02-20 02:29:19 · update #2
Friend you have your legal rights also, you should tell your boss that if he or she is going to honor that person beliefs, Then he will have to also honor yours, That is discrimination against religion, I don't know what country you are from But here in The USA, we have religion rights, what you did was right.
2007-02-20 02:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Having worked in HR for the last 20 years, I can tell you that your employer is being sensitive to this employee because of EEOC harassment laws. She can claim hostile working environment if she's forced to have to participate in things that are against her religious beliefs.
While I agree with you that there's nothing wrong with you giving your boss a card and a gift, you had already been warned about her religious beliefs, and should not have given her the card to sign. By doing that, you could have put your employer in a very dangerous legal situation (I know it seems ridiculous, but I've seen it happen over much less).
Just leave her out of it.. while I happen to agree that she's got too many rights, that's the law right now, and she's using it to her advantage.
Edit: I just saw your edit that says you didn't hand her the card. I revise my advice to you then. Make sure you personally take the card around if you are the one who purchases it, to insure that it doesn't get into her hands. I'm sorry that you took the hit for it. I do agree with Godless that this should be done during lunch or on "offtime" in order to make sure that your employer is not liable.
Employers have a very difficult task in making sure that they are not in violation of eeoc laws in the u.s.
2007-02-20 02:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by Kallan 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
It is a workplace. Because of these celebrations, and the fact that she doesn't observe them, she now stands out as the person who doesn't participate. That isn't fair to her. What happens if someone who didn't get a birthday card from her ends up in the position of being able to choose between her and another candidate for a promotion? Would her beliefs affect that decision, because if they could, that's the problem right there. What if a Muslim, or a Jew, or a Wiccan, or a Pagan comes along? Then what? Your insistence upon observing things like this at work is what is causing the problem, not her, and your boss sees it.
These things should be organized to take place outside of the office and working hours. I mean outside, as in after everyone has left work, not during a break or lunch. Would it be that hard to organize these things for another time and place?
People go to work to earn a living, and the workplace is supposed to be neutral when it comes to religious matters, in the interests of all employees.
2007-02-20 02:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
She's TOTALLY out of line. She has the right not to participate. I don't see why she should be a total snot about it....but what do I know. Unless there was a work rule about not having any holidays before...I see no reason to change the rules for one person, unless they violate federal EOE violations (which this DID NOT).
From a pure work environment.......she is having a crappy effect on morale and leadership. I'd have NEVER hired someone like that intentionally...and if I did....I'd make sure I found a reason to can her butt as quickly as possible.
Told her off? You should recieve the toleration medal for not slapping the stupid from her!
What religion is the person by the way?
By the way....I'm an agnostic Jew....not a Chrsitian.
2007-02-20 02:23:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Your right, you do have the right to celebrate your religions just as you have in the past. Isn't there anyone above him that you could talk to?Call the labor board find out if this is employment injustice against your rights to celebrate your beliefs. As far as the new girl's concerned, she needs a little slap of a reality check,one that will knock her right off that high horse she sits upon.
You have rights too.
2007-02-20 02:36:26 · answer #5 · answered by Sidetracked0260 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When religion is carried into the work place, and, tolerated by the business, it is the beginning of theocracy. Do we want the kind of religious police they have in the near-east? I think not. However, there is more than one Christian sect that believes this is the future of the United States. People like our present president are fertilizing this notion that religions should dictate the laws.
2007-02-20 02:38:49 · answer #6 · answered by Terry 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No you were not wrong at all! Your boss who gave you the 'talking to" is playing the politically correct card. I hate that in this country the minorities get the attention. What ever happened to majority rules? The majority of us are christians and exchange gifts and celebrate birthdays and it is ridiculous when people get offended. She has no right to even get offended, she lives in a country whose majority celebrates these things so if she doesnt like it she needs to move back to where she came from or just shut up and be respectful of our practices already! Tell her you are offended by her not celebrating these things.....It is the same thing she is doing to you...
2007-02-20 02:24:12 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny T 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
In no way whatsoever were you wrong in that situation. Your co-worker needs to realize that the office does not revolve around her just because her beliefs are different. She sounds like she's a Jehovah's Witness. And why would gift-swapping be completely cut out just because of ONE person?! That's ridiculous! I would have said cutting that out offended ME and MY religion. Couldn't they have just left HER out of the gift-swapping since SHE was the reason for cutting it out? Why should everyone have to suffer just because of one person? That's exactly what wrong with the world today: one person gets offended, we fix it immediately no matter what everyone else says... ok, I'm gonna stop that rant now before I get ahead of myself.
This reminded me of my previous job. I used to work at a doctors office and one of the doctors there was Jewish. When the "holiday" season came around, we all signed a card to him saying "Happy Hanukkah" or "Happy Holidays". We didn't leave him out because of his beliefs, we wanted to include him. He thanked us for involving him.
You co-worker should be glad you tried to include her in the activies. Saying you offended her and acting like she's superior just because of her beliefs won't get her far. Let her keep ranting and getting offended. She'll get enough complaints thrown her way and be out of there.
EDIT: When someone else's birthday rolls around, do the birthday cake, card, etc. thing but don't include your co-worker and make sure everyone understands it's during the ten-minute break or lunch (you're off the clock, it's not being held during office hours). When your co-worker tries to complain and you and your other co-workers get another "talking to", let your superiors know that you did not involve her in anyway and that she wasn't even aware of the celebration before it happened and that she just wants things HER way. When (and if) they try to punish you, let them know they can do nothing about it because no one was on the clock during the celebration, there's nothing they can do about it. Like I said, enough complaints about her, and she'll be gone.
2007-02-20 02:36:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
OMG... I would go above your immediate boss's head and do something about this.. This girl is obviously kind of retarded, and it is just a birthday for God's sake. If she chooses not to participate, that is her right. And the fact that your boss gave you a talking to disturbs me to. If I were you, I'd find out when this girl's birthday is, and do one of two things:
1. Get a card for her, and a cake, and have everyone sign it, and tell her "I just want to make amends!"...(LMAO)
2. Ignore her completely on her birthday, and get the rest of the department to do it too...LOL
Wish I was in yer department... OMG. That girl would have quit by now!
2007-02-20 02:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by Tom and Aimee N 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
No, you are absolutely right. Everyone has to change because of what she believes? So we all have to behave like Jehovah's Witnesses just because there is one in our presence? Give me a break. She is trying to force her religious beliefs on you in what is supposed to be a non-religious environment. THAT is offensive!
2007-02-20 02:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by Tanya Pants 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋