My father died recently and I feel myself getting worse..?

Question

Ok, my father died over christmas. My grandmother is in the hospital for the fifth time this year and my significant other just left me.. I know I am being hard to deal with right now because of all of this and I can see myself being depressed and probably annoying to other people but I can't seem to bring myself out of it.
I've tried counselors and talking to my brother but he's going through the same thing and has even more stress to deal with than I do.
I can only have fun when I go out with a group of people and drink unfortunately, although I definitely don't have a drinking problem It's definitely something I turn to right now.

My family is uber disfunctional and I can see them being very selfish right now, so I don't want to bring my drama to my mother because I want to be strong for her, because I know it's worse on her,,, but seriously why is all this happening at once??!?!?
I am sending this out into the internet because typing it just makes me feel better.

Answer 1

Keep typing, just as fast as you can, and answer everything that you can. By helping someone else you will be helping yourself.
Why you? Why now? Why so many problems?
I cannot answer that, but you have my deepest sympathy at this time. It will all get better as time goes by. Try praying to God.
He moves in mysterious ways.

Answer 2

First I'd like to send you and your family my condolences. Death of a loved one can be the most challenging thing to ever have to deal with in ones life.

Try to be positive no matter how hard this may sound. Think about all the wonderful things your father did. All the positive influence he had in your life. The things he taught you, that you'll one day be proud to teach your own children some day. Think about how proud he would be of you for just being strong for your mother! You are proving to me something special in just that area alone.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with these added stresses as well. But here are a few things you can do to make you feel better:

1. Take time off and spend with your grandmother. Just visit her when you think about her. Let her know how much you love her.
2. Do the same with your mother. Try to get her to join you in fun activities. Maybe just lunch for you two. Enjoy each other's company.
3. The drinking can lead to a problem. Don't get dependant on it. Find other hobbies that make you happy. Spend time with the family that is somewhat funtional :-)
...and...
4. Check out the links in source.

I really hope this helped ya. And if you need someone to talk to and pour your heart out to, I'm here. Email me whenever you like!

Answer 3

Sometimes, life seems like a black hole, no way to get out. Believe me, this happens to everyone. Read all the answers people wrote to your questions, they are so sympathetic and kind to you, you are not alone. Time will heal, just hang in there, it will be okay. We don't know who you are, where you live, but through this network of people, we are all hoping that you are okay and wishing you the best.

Death of a family member, or close friend is very difficult to deal with, it made me think why we are here, and made me realize what is important. What I realized is that the life is really short, we are not perfect, we do what we can while we are here.

Just remember your dad would of have liked you to be happy and help your mom. Family is the most important thing. Remember, we are thinking about you.

Answer 4

I am very sorry for your loss. When one thing goes wrong, it seems like everything else follows and nothing goes right! I lost my grandmother right before Thanksgiving, she raised me so she was like my mother. In the beginning it was extremely hard but a little prayer and a lot of time is what is getting me through it. If typing helps you to feel better its because you are getting your feelings out, and therefore talking to someone may help. You say you have tried counseling, but how many times? Once, twice? Its going to take lots of time, thats the best healing power- time. Its ok to talk to your mom, she needs you right now as much as you need her.

Answer 5

Sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how it would feel to lose a parent. :( I think everything you're feeling is nnormal, things are turned completely upside down in your world, and you don't have alot of support from friends or family.
I think you could still talk with your mother about what you're BOTH feeling- and be there for each other. You should also talk with your doctor about getting some anti-depressants and going to area support groups for people who've lost a parent.
This is too much to handle alone. Good luck hon.

Answer 6

Try to think only about all the good times you shared together and be grateful for those times. Remind yourself that no one lives on Earth forever. My father passed away a year ago next month. In my eulogy I reminded everyone of how he would always be doing things to get people to smile--that he would not want us mourning his death with sad faces but rather smiling ones that we knew him and was a part of our lives.

Hope this helps some. Sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

well first i sorry for your lose, an also i proud you did put it up for us to read,,,now honest life going to have it up an down,but it hurt to hear you turn to drinking, for reading you sorrol, i can rember doing it to, see i lost my dad, then my mom, then to top if off latter on in year a son,, i too turn to drinking, only to find at first it was to eay the pain,,but little did i know ,i come to depend on it, more an more,,,an honest it no ansure in the bottomn of a bottle, it only add to your trouble,,,now you said you, feel like you being selfish, no you not, it all part of loseing a love one, ,, what i found was if i talk about my dad an how i felt, it seem to help, , a goo cry will help the healling, please , dont go like i did to the bottle, you only add to your sorrol,

Answer 8

I want to give you my condolences...... I know how it feels, my dad passed 3 years ago now. My mom is bipolar, and I am now the one to deal with her. Sometimes I want to rip out my hair.

Grief is a slow healing process, you need to feel sad, angry, disappointed, guilt, and then you can accept it. Don't rush yourself, its only been 2 months, It took me 2 years.

Just trust, it may not get better, but it will get easier. Please trust me on this. You will have a rough time at holidays, but you will eventually accept it, and it will get easier.

Good luck......

Answer 9

i'm sorry you lost you dad. it is in easy terms been 3 months. you're able to provide your self time to grieve and which will take it slow. anybody grieves in a distinctive way and time and it is in easy terms widely used which you will experience the way you do. one element you're able to evaluate is a grief help team. that's no longer counselling, it incredibly is a team of folk in the comparable project which you're in. They sit down and show their thoughts and issues, and listening to others can help you in looking out what has helped them to handle their vacancy and loss. in basic terms undergo in strategies that what you're dealing with is thoroughly widely used. You omit your dad and that may not in any respect bypass away, whether it definitely gets extra advantageous with time.

Answer 10

i know exactly how you feel with in 2 years my 30 year old sister died dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's and heart problems and my grandma died this Nov just gone i felt like i was falling in to a black hole with no way out i ended up telling my mum and other sister about how i was feeling and they was feeling just the same way and we talk and talked you should talk to your mum she probably wants to say the same to you but scared of upsetting you more x