Need Some Advice!!!!!?

Question

My 1st childs father and I became very close over the last 3months, and I must admitt my feelings that I thought were gone are not. My questions is I know he has feelings for me but he just won't tell me. He will call my name and I will look at him and he will look like he wants to tell me something but he always says never mind, he will tell me that he misses me and than he will make it into a joke. Well I want to know do you think that there is something there, or and I just wanting for something to be there.

For the last 2 month we have been intimate together.

I already told him how I feel,lately we have been spending a lot of time together and he told me taht he is starting to get attached.

When he tells me that he misses me, I respond by saying I miss him to, I also told him that I was getting attached to him also. I am just confused.

One more thing he has told me that he always knew I was his soul mate. So where do I go from here.

Answer 1

Yes, I think he still has feelings for you, and he is either afraid that you will reject him, or he's afraid that it would be a mistake to go back into a relationship that didn't work out the first time. Because you have a child together, you should be sure that you could stay Friends if another breakup were to occur.

Answer 2

I can understand why it's difficult to determine whether there is truly 'something there', and there's no easy way to make such a determination. He may be considering the very same thing. It's important that you continue as you are. He probably admires the person who've become without him. You had to show some independence and self-sufficiency qualities to get to this point. I wouldn't rush anything. Exercise some restraint and patience until you get more signals. Don't attempt to make it easy for him if you do decide you'd like to pursue a romantic relationship. If he wants to go in that direction, he's a big boy and can broach the subject. It's important that you value yourself and not allow him to take you for granted. I think he does like you, but it is incumbent on him to make the move. His failure to communicate could become an issue if things go further as it will be necessary to acknowledge what went wrong previously, the changes that you've both made, and what would be different this time around. You know each well in view of your history and you're probably comfortable being around each other. It's easy to mistake being comfortable with someone as deeper feelings. Keep on your same track and see what develops. Good Luck

Answer 3

Men have a very hard time opening up. It's hard to say for sure without knowing him, but it sounds like your man is in exactly that boat. Introducing levity into an otherwise intimate/meaningful moment is a defense mechanism that many guys use to deflect the seriousness of the situation.

He needs to feel safe in sharing his feelings with you. He has to know that he can safely tell you how he feels without fear of rejection. Well, normally that would be hard for a man, but you have feelings for him also so you have the option of making it easy on him.

Someone else suggested talking with him. I agree. How to do that depend on the guy... you know him better than we do. Bring the subject up however you feel is best and safest for him, or wait until the next time he says something and then pursue it.

When he says he misses you, do you respond saying you miss him also? Do you give him any kind of positive feedback? These things are important for a man to feel like he's not dangling himself out over a ledge, about to fall to his death if he lets go of the branch, so to speak.

Answer 4

He probably does feel the same way, but he also may be afraid. You need to tell him your honest feelings and ask him bluntly how he feels.

If it turns out that he too has feelings, then start to rebuild the relationship. Take it slow, don't pressure each other and above all think of the child. If you all can become a family it will be so much better for him/her.

Answer 5

Maybe he does have feelings for you again - but it just afraid. Give him time and later if you are still confused maybe you should try talking to him. He might mean it when he says he misses you and just turns it into a joke as a way to deal with the fear of getting back together. Just my thoughts.... Hope everything works out!

Answer 6

I think you guys are comfortable enough with each other for you to speak your mind. Ask him right after he calls your name and says never mind why he does that is it something that he wants to tell you then say well I want to tell you something then tell him. WHy not try and work it out you guys got a child together its worth atleast a attempt to reconcile

Answer 7

Well, when you look at him and you know or think he wants to tell you something at that moment tell him what you think and if for example: If you love him and he looks at you as wanting to tell you something, why don't you start by telling him you love him and therefore he might have the nerve to tell you what he feels. I mean afterall he is the father of you child, and there shouldn't be no secrets.

Answer 8

From the little bit you say I think you should take this very slowly and talk to him. If you have a child together you should be able to talk about what's going on....if anything really is.

Answer 9

Don't and never assumed. Have a chat with him and let him know how you feel. See if he reciprocates. If yes, move to the next step and work hard on the relationship. If not, drop the thoughts and keep yourself busy.

Answer 10

It's a little of both.
You need to act like you are not worried about where the relationship is headed. Even though you are.
If you act like there are other things to worry about besides him, he will tell you what you want to hear.