I feel like I am taking life too serious.. There's a saying, a time to laugh, time to cry, etc... Yet how do I find a happy medium?
A senerio: Kids are playing in the mud.. Why can't I join them and have fun? Instead I am worried about the clothes not coming clean, tracking it in the house, etc...
When the kids and I talk.. They know/should know by now how I feel about certain things/actions..etc.. Yet I always seem to give advise, lecture, have serious conversations, etc.. Why can I just let go and have fun with them? Why can't I just joke around and not take things so seriously? Of course I want them to be responsible, etc.. Yet now I notice they seem to act serious most of the time. Like they don't know how to cut loose.
Any advise?
2007-02-20 01:38:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have 2 girls, 16yrs & 11yrs.. and 1 boy, 13yrs... When they do something wrong do I have make a big deal about it and lecture, preach, etc.. Especially its a repeated action.. Or just simply say your grounded..???
2007-02-20 02:03:36 · update #1
Get in the mud puddle with them. I do understand because I feel like I'm the one who is constantly lecturing, having serious talks etc. etc.
I just stopped doing it and now choose my battles. It is hard at first but gets easier over time. Do something with them they wouldn't expect...play in the rain, sled down a hill, get in the sand box....we all know this stuff will come off. When it comes to the more 'serious' stuff just have your boundaries set and the consequences for breaking those boundaries. They always know what to expect and so do you. Good luck to you.
2007-02-20 01:44:58 · answer #1 · answered by Yogini 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
We have somthing in common, people are always telling me I am way to serious about everything I never ' cut loose' , for a long time I thought something was wrong with me. then I came across some information on personalitys/tempermants, it was then I found out that some people are just serious people its just who they are and there is nothing wrong with them, some are just happy all the time its just who they are, the hard part for me, once I realized this, was to learn to let others be who they are without feeling bad about not being like them, and then to learn to join in now and then, I wont lie to you, when I do join in its work, I have to constantly tell myself , its okay to not be serious right now I can be serious later, take the time out of being serious now and then, put things into perspective whats more important right now is the children, they will grow out of the dirty clothes next year anyway but your relationship will last for years to come, if you are interested do a search on ' tempermants ' and you will find some good resources that may even help you understand better who you are and why you are the way you are, some of us are just serious people,thats just who we are, some are not thats just who they are, and there is nothing wrong with either one, you dont have to let go all the time but every now and then wont hurt anything...
2007-02-20 10:09:58 · answer #2 · answered by elhefe1968 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All children learn how to act and respond from their parents, unless you want your children to grow up and be worried all the time about what will happen or what people will think if they let loose I would suggest you set an example for fun.. I think you will either end up with uptight children or the exact opposite kids who are too wild because they never got a chance to express themselves outwardly.. There has to be a good central zone. There is always time to let loose and always time to be serious you just need to find a good middle ground
2007-02-20 09:47:42 · answer #3 · answered by B-E-B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, your kids are a little older so why dont you set up a set time each week where you do something fun together.
take turns picking the activity.
movie night at home
go paintballing
go on a hike
go take a pottery class
game night
work in the garden (fun, like dig a little pond for fish)
there are many fun things you can do with your children without having to loosen up too much and still teach them to be responsible adults.
2007-02-20 10:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by TN girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your personality to be like that. I am the same way, The good news is you have realized you are uptight. So now when you catch yourself being like that you can stop and rethink it. It works for me and I think it also help now that I have 2 kids.Remember you love your kids and that's what is important for them to grow up as healthy adults.
2007-02-20 09:58:27 · answer #5 · answered by BeBu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can see the problem, and know the course of action you should take, all you have to do is do that.
Kick your shoes off and make time to do crazy messy things. Likes isnt sterile, games, actions, and personalities shouldnt be either.
2007-02-20 09:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because you are the parent, so its your job to be the bad guy so to speak and teach them how to behave. I do teh same thing myself all of the time.
2007-02-20 09:42:00 · answer #7 · answered by Java Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might need to be put on meds and thats ok if it helps you in any way.
best of luck
2007-02-20 09:42:36 · answer #8 · answered by chris w 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋