Ok..I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years..we get each other so well, are one another's best friend..do anything and everything together..my family loves him and his family loves me BUT throughout our relationship I had really bad trust issues which I have had all my life..it started to become a real problem and we would argue a lot..I broke up with him because I felt that we were just not going to work due to my trust issues, he begged me for a few days not to leave him but I did, i quickly realized that I do want to trust him and I do want to be with him BUT now he told me that he wants to be alone right now and he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now..I'm positive that I want to give our relationship another shot but I am respecting what he wants and letting him be..we have not spoken in 3 days..should I move on or is there still hope for a reconciliation?
2007-02-20 01:35:41 · 16 answers · asked by ELLE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A couple things...
I do think there is still hope for your relationship. You may want to see if he'll indulge you in a little chat over coffee to discuss the goals of your relationship.
That said, I think YOU need to make a concerted effort to tame your trust issues. I don't know how old you are, but I have a feeling I am older than you... I don't know it all, but I know from experience and trust issues of my own that your relationship IS doomed if you can't get past it. Has he done anything to warrant these feelings? If so, then that's something you two need to discuss together if you want to move forward. If not, you NEED to trust him or you WILL ultimately drive him away.
Reverse it and look at it from the other side:
You love a guy that has trouble with trust and takes that out on you. Would YOU want that for the rest of the relationship? It would make ME extrememly resentful, and I think that might be where your boyfriend is headed if you can't work on your trust issues.
I do wish you luck with everything!
2007-02-20 01:43:50 · answer #1 · answered by doggiemom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may still be hope, but maybe you realized that you want to trust him a little to late. he is probably hurt and angry that you couldnt find it in your heart to trust him sooner. you were together for two years, so why did this only develop into a problem later on in the relationship?? You should still have hope but don't put all of your feelings and trust and happiness in to a future reconciliation.
2007-02-20 09:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by kf17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be patient. 3 Days is not a long time to wait. You should set up a limit of time you can wait for an answer and stick with it. Let him know you will wait 4 weeks for example and take that time to be alone and get your thoughts together about what you need in a relationship to make you happy. If he wants to be a part of your life at that point then you should be happy together. If he decides to remain alone then you will be able to move forward to find someone that you can start a new commitment with.
Good luck.
2007-02-20 09:41:04 · answer #3 · answered by justclicktherubyslippers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to him one last time whether it is face to face or by letter or phone. Really make him understand the reasoning behind your decision to break it off and why you want him back. Talk to him about this new found need for space he has. If he wanted you back so badly then why all of a sudden does he want to be alone? What has changed for him? You need to ask and find out those questions to know why he feels the way he does now. Like I said talk to him and be completely open and honest with him. Make sure your feelings are known and make sure you find out the answers you want in return. Only your ex can tell you for sure whether it is over or not so you need to ask him point blank if it is over for good or what it up. After you find out all of that then you will know if you should move on. Good luck and keep the faith!
2007-02-20 09:43:39 · answer #4 · answered by poetryprincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one -- I think I would call him and just leave a message that says, "I know you want your space, but I just want to make sure that you know that I care about you, I'm sorry if I hurt you, and I want to work harder to make it work between us. Take the time you need, but please know that I have had a change of heart, and I want to talk to you when you're ready." It could be that he wants a few days to himself to get over the shock of you leaving. Sometimes guys just need some time to get over a hit to their ego, and understandably so. Just be open about your feelings and let him make his move. If you hear nothing from him after a few weeks, consider that it might be time to move on. I hope it all works out!!!
2007-02-20 09:42:12 · answer #5 · answered by LN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only been 3 days,,,give it some time...you work on your trust issues, and let him work on what he wants out of a relationship...
2007-02-20 09:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is best to let the other have some space to think too, coz you had your time to think and have some space.. If he still loves you, he'll eventually come back to you, but if not, then its time for you to move on.. when? Just observe him.. You said you two are best of friends, if the friendship is affected due to that issue, maybe he had some issues too regarding your decision, or maybe you haven't explained to him on why you need your space that time that's why he needs some to consider you.. But the best time to let go is when he's planning or actually dating somebody else, it means he doesn't consider on getting back on you..
2007-02-20 09:42:41 · answer #7 · answered by carol 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you get some counceling. Counceling doesnt fix problems. But it helps one to develope copeing skills. It seems like your trust issues stem from other relationships. Let go of old baggage.
2007-02-20 09:42:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships is built on trust. If there's no trust elements, the relationship won't last long and history will repeat itself. Since you don't trust him that much I suggest you call it quit to avoid long term pain.
2007-02-20 09:40:27 · answer #9 · answered by SGElite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to give him time, have you ever heard of the saying "If you love someone set him free and if he comes back it was meant to be." You cannot toy with someone's emotions and expect him to come running right back. Give him a little time to think things over and if he really loves you then he will come back.
2007-02-20 09:42:07 · answer #10 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋