How do you cope with.............?

Question

being in love with someone you no you can never be with?Its a horrible feeling exspecialy if they love you back but for 1 reason or another you no you will never be able to have a relationship with each other?
Has anyone been in this situation?

Unforchantly you cant always choose who you fall in love with!!!
Other wise i would never have chosen this man!

Answer 1

The situation you speak of is horrible and I have been there. It feels so hopeless when you love someone and they love you but there is no future ahead of you. The best thing I can tell you to do is take some time out for yourself to deal with the reality of the situation. Once you have done that move on. I know it sounds impossible but believe me one day the pain will ease and you will wake up and discover that you can breath on your own again. It took me a long time because the guy I was with was for like 5 yrs but eventually it does get easier. I even found someone else who I am marrying and am having a baby with any day now. I am bringing that up because I am letting you know that one day you will find love again. If I can then any one can trust me. It is proved that people that don't want to be alone won't be alone. In time they find someone new. And if you still want love in your life then you will have it. For now just sit back and like I said take the time that you need to focus on your feelings and the situation at hand. Don't worry you will get through this and be a better and stronger person for it. Keep the faith and good luck!

Answer 2

To be honest because you will not be with each there will always be a what if at the back of your mind, but slowly in time you will be able to move on. It is hard, and you will need support but you can do it. Just remember why you can't be together and make sure you put some space between yourselves and give yourselves time to move on. Each situation is different just be brave and slowly with time the pain will heal. Good Luck

Answer 3

Trust me dear....TIME! Time heals all wounds....but dont sit around feelong sorry for yourself like i did! Its the worse thing you could do...get out there with your friends and family and live your life...its way too short to dwell on things forever! Sure it will still hurt and you may not even want to talk to any guys at all! But ...eventually this feeling will go away, and you will find someone better for you! That is another thing..finding someone else will help you keep your mind off him, seriously, it will help to have someone else to be around and be able to talk to! Life's a big adventure, just relax, enjoy the ride, and see where it will take you next! Good Luck, Hope this helped a lil!

Answer 4

Its a difficult one! Is there no chance you can make a go of it? Have you talked? If this is the case, then you will need to give yourself some distance and space, often the ending of a relationship or emotional bond is like a greiving process you have to alow your emotions to come out. Things will slowly start to get better and that grey cloud will life, sooner or later you will come through the other side and be fine.
Good luck

Answer 5

Yes. I understand. As a quadraplegic, I fall in love just the same as anyone else, but because I am crippled and in a wheelchair, women, in my circumstances, are put off by seeing me in this condition. The number of times I have heard the words, "I really like you, but can we just be friends?" makes me want to tear my hair out. People then go on to say, "You are a nice person, you'll find someone eventually." This is even from nurses who are used to seeing people in my condition. I'm 46 now and can see the door shutting on my chances of finding a partner. Especially considering the criteria that is required for them to deal with.
I don't know your situation or age, so can only give some general advice. Presuming your not handicapped and relatively young. Below 40. Then you still have a lot of options open to you. I've had my heart broken many times, even before my accident, so it is all part of one's life. It's sad I know, but you just have to accept it and move on. You have to look at that person now as if they are a famous star. You can imagine being in love with them and having a relationship. But realistically you know it will never happen. But in the meantime get on with living. Go out, spend time with friends and enjoy your independence. Once you enter a relationship, no matter how perfect, there will still be times when you will wish to have time for yourself. If you can move on and enjoy yourself, you'll find that, that in itself is an alluring characteristic and will draw potential partners towards you.
If you are young, below 21. Then, what you are feeling is still the rage of the inbalance of hormones. You may feel that the person is the only one for you, but it's what your imagination has built up to be. Again, you have to move on. Love hurts and you will keep getting hurt over and over again. But eventually you'll meet someone and will spend a number of years in a happy relationship. Finally, remember the most important thing in life is your health. If you haven't got that, you haven't got anything. The only thing I have now is memories. I hope this helps you to come to terms with your pain and to put it into perspective.

Answer 6

it's too easy for people to judge you.
you cant turn your feelings on and off for someone.
i spent 4 years with someone who i knew could never fully be with me but to be honest there is really no reason for that. It all comes down to choices, him making the decision to be with you completely. Think about it, are his reasons truly good enough for not being able to commit fully or are you fooling yourself into believing them because of how you feel for him? Personally i fooled myself and didn't want to face the fact that the relationship wasn't going anywhere and it was ultimately doing me more harm than good.
Is a short while of upset from a relationship ending worse than a lifetime of that crushing feeling you get knowing that no matter how hard you try, how much you love him, he'll never be yours?

Answer 7

I'm in this situation now and yes, it's agony. Always looking for light at the end of the tunnel, always hoping you will be together and it just never happens. Life can be so painful at times it really really hurts.
So I cope by closing my eyes and dreaming of the person I want to be with and we are together, for a few brief moments in time.

Answer 8

Lisa Lisa, I feel your pain. I have experienced that exact same thing. I don't know if you're religious or not but my relationship with God helped me to get through the disappointment and to have a perspective that I can life with. It's been four years for me and my feelings have not changed but they are much more manageable now. What I can share with you is pretty long so if you want feel free to email me. [e-mail] Good luck.

Answer 9

I agree that you can't choose who you fall in love with, but you can make positive steps to get over it if you know you will never be together. Like cut of contact completely, stop putting temptation in your way.

Answer 10

i think i am in the same situation, we met on the internet and he is very far away, i have great doubts in my mind if it will ever come to us being together and it is a horrible feeling hun, the desicion to call it a day would really depend on you, can you move on with your life if you cut all ties to this person, and what would your future be like really if you hung on for ever. i hope you get your answers hun, good luck.