I admire people who fight for the person that they want. But I've also seen people look like fools extending themselves for a person who just isn't going to budge. I don't want to be a person like the latter. So how do you know when to give up or when to keep fighting? I've just recently had a breakup with a man that I really felt I would spend the rest of my life with. We didn't really argue but we both agreed that things were not going well and haven't been for a while now and that it was over. We are different types of people but I love him with everything I have. I want to reach out to him and make things better but I don't know if he wants to. I'd rather leave things as they are and save my dignity rather than look like a psycho who is not ready to let go. But, I don't want to leave things as they are. What should I do? Should I just let time pass and see how things go? Should I call him and tell him all the things I love about him? I don't know what to do? Help!
2007-02-20 00:40:51 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a tricky question and I know exactly where you are coming from.
My guy and I are together now but, earlier in the relationship we had a misunderstanding that made him shut down from me. Eventually one day, he called and came over. We talked and I could see that he loved me just as much as I love him. We were both in alot of emotional pain.
I had tried on a few occasions to explain things to him but, to no avail. He was hurt and confused and needed some time to think. He contacted me again but it was only fleeting.
In the end, I decided to have one last shot at making him see that he mis-understood everything that I was trying to tell him. So, one night I just showed up at his place. I took a huge gamble and put my pride on the line. He saw it for what it was and we talked well into the night.
He told me that no-one had ever taken the time to fight for him before and it made him love me even more. We live together now and are very happy. I believe we are soul mates.
That's the reason I fought for him. He was everything I ever dreamed of needing and wanting in a partner and I couldn't let him go, not without a fight at least.
I hope things will work out for you. Sometimes in your heart, you just know that person is the ONE and you do need to put yourself on the line in order to get what you know is right.
Good luck girl. I hope your guy realises just how much he means to you in the end.
2007-02-20 00:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call him. See if he misses you and calls you. Relationships last longer when the man comes back to the woman. Only fight for a relationship that you know meshes. I thought I'd spend my life with my first husband; will always love him, but had to let it go after 14 years. He was a party-goer, I was a family girl. He couldn't sit still and that drove me crazy. He needed the biggest and best, and I just wanted to make it through life. We still say I love you when we see each other once every 5 years or so, and I cry, but I don't regret it. I was miserable no matter how much love there was. Now I'm remarried and very, very happy. Good luck to you.
2007-02-20 00:56:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're caught in a dilemma: you do not want to let your boyfriend go but yet you also feel that things are over between you two. if you really feel that your relationship still might contain a trace of hope then call him and ask him whether he wants to go out for a movie or something, then during that, recount the happy times you two had together, tell him how much you still love him and that you don't want to let this precious relationship slip out of your hands. Show him that you still care for him and make sure you receive the same treatment from him. this would put you two back into the same state before your relationship went sour. Things will be bound to turn around sooner or later. otherwise you could try letting time pass, which i strongly oppose to, you two might not see one another again if both of you don't do anything for this relationship. Ask him out, tell him what you feel and want, that's what i believe is best for you two.
2007-02-20 00:57:58 · answer #3 · answered by Soaring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could call and say that you think you two could have a future together and would like to try again, but then be ready to come up with solutions or compromises for what you two thought was not so great in the relationship.
That means he gets to ask you to make changes too, not just you expecting him to change.
Of course tell him about all the qualities in him that you like and tell him how you feel about him.
Be prepared thoough that if he doesn;t want to try again, then wish him luck and let him go.
By the way, most of the time we are saddened at the end of a dream of a future with that person, not so much the loss of the person themselves.
If it ends up he doesnt want to try, then give yourself time to get over that and move on slowly to the next phase in your life.
Good luck
2007-02-20 00:49:16 · answer #4 · answered by island3girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you can save a relationship is if the other individual is willing to work with you but, if the person feels that there's no hope and not willing to give it another chance it best to respect the person decision and move on. My opinion if you still have feelings for that person and they feel like there's no hope for a intimate relationship see if it's possible, if the person is at least willing, to have a friendship. Let him know you still have feelings for him and if you can stay in contact as friends.
2007-02-20 00:49:12 · answer #5 · answered by channel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of the things you love about him didnt keep you two together in the first place. Ask yourself. Do you really want to be with some one who professes to love you but.......... wont fix the wrongs in your relationship? People who dont budge for love dont really love. They are selfesh.
Save face. Get over him and find some one better! That is the best revenge!
2007-02-20 01:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u got a complicated story I bet. But no one can tell you what to do? you got to measure how much of heart ache against the amount of happiness you get from this relationship. So that will give you your answer. But don't call the him just because you miss him alot. Remember a relationship is a long term commitment and you don't want to end up breaking it up later and go through more heart ache. So use the scale.
2007-02-20 00:53:50 · answer #7 · answered by clxgolf2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a very difficult situation for anyone to be in. I just got out of a relationship with the girl that i thought was "the one", but we did start agueing all the time, and i knew it was time to give up, instead of just sticking around and fighting "for all the wrong reasons". it's just a judgment call i guess, yeah, I would love to take her back, but I know that it would not work out, so I can't.
You just have to go with what you feel, and be strong about the whole situation.
best of luck...
2007-02-20 00:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by my_name_is_what 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order for any relationship to survive, you both have to want it to. One person making all the effort to keep it alive, will surely lead to its demise. Talk it over. Decide where you both want to be in your life. If being with each other would prove unhealthy in any way, end it. You have to salvage yourself. You've only got one life, live it...and be happy!
2007-02-20 00:46:48 · answer #9 · answered by Sweetness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you have to fight to keep a person or a relationship something is wrong.
Having a good relationship is sometimes not easy but it shouldn't be a fight.
2007-02-20 01:27:34 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋