I've known this guy for a couple years now through work and we recently started seeing each other. He's 39, i'm 23 and he's such an amazing person! We talk about everything and he calls / texts me sweet messages daily, we have great sex and he's gorgeous as well. He's confessed that he's been waiting for me since we first met as I had boyfriends at the time, but now we're together I'm a bit concerned about what my family would say about him. It's early days yet, we've been dating for a month - but I know he wants a proper relationship and I'm still adjusting to being single after my ex cheated on me. Is it wrong of me to want something casual from him when I know he wants more? Is he too old for me? Help!
2007-02-20 00:10:59 · 42 answers · asked by rachel e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Rachael; No way is HE "too old".
I know Men (being one).. and HE is "a Go-er"!
On the down-side; do not expect to be 'bliss',
anymore than aboute, 8 years..
As sure as night-follows Day: YOU WILL grow [super-restless]
, when you are 32 years: count on it.
There WILL be children with NO father.. (-in 9 years, time)..
But, 'What-the-Hell'!: -Most modern-marriages do NOT last
[any longer than that]! None! You'd better go; "all-out", NOW,
(-and to-Hell with the detractors)! I never married untill, 36..
-now I am Divorcing, after my 2nd marriage(!);
AND am looking ON the wwweb., and have found 3 willing "starters"
-(all with no kids, of course): away on the other-side of Australia.. aged 53!
I have purchased my air-ticket: the removalist is a-coming: there's NO lookin' back: (People want company-of-the opposite SEX )!
2007-02-20 00:37:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really not sure what is meant in your question by a "proper relationship". You seem to be doing all of the things already that people do in relationships - talking, calling, texting, having sex. Surely, it has already gone beyond "casual". Maybe your real problem is the so called "age gap". In my opinion it shouldn't matter one bit if the people involved are really suited but, clearly, something is bugging you.
You say he "wants more" - what more is there apart from living together or getting married? I think you are right to shy away from either of these until you are properly adjusted to your new single status.
Explain your doubts/fears/feelings to the man - if he is worth having he will understand and you could come to some agreement you were both happy with though (again, this is only my opinion) a full sexual relationship with one person often makes "going out and having fun" with others impossible as too may emotions are involved.
Hope it works out well.
2007-02-20 00:27:44 · answer #2 · answered by Who Yah 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think the age is a problem, I've been in large age gap relationships (24 years once) and its only a problem if you make it.
A bigger worry is the fact that you want something casual. The only way to make sure that this doesn't create a problem is to be honest with him - make sure he knows that you are hurting from your break up and that you need a bit of time and space to heal from it, but that you do want to get to know him. As long as you both know where you stand, you'll have the best chance of making something great work.
Good luck, and don't worry about your family, they love you and will see that he cares for you and that neither of you are going in to this with your eyes closed.
2007-02-20 00:15:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
1st Of all whats wrong with wanting to take things slow after you have been hurt by your ex. You just want a bit of fun before you go back into a relationship again, nothing wrong with that.
And secondly if this guy treats you like a lady and makes you happy the age should not come into it and if you folks love you they will see that too.
Good luck and stay happy ;-)
2007-02-20 00:44:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he could be - but i think it depends on what this guy wants? is he at that stage where he wants to settle down and start a family?
everything sounds great but i think you need to make sure you are both on the same level, its hard to say sometimes relationships with huge age gaps work out
its worth discussing future plans - you dont want to miss out on your youth! and NO if you want something casual then thats up to you, tell him how you feel. If he has waited this long for you voluntarily he wont mind waiting a little longer!
2007-02-20 00:17:33 · answer #5 · answered by anna63 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love him, he loves you etc - there's no such thing as too old. Also, if he's as nice as you say, he'll be patient while you adjust to the situation with your ex if it's likely you'll want to get serious later down the road.
BUT if he has strong feelings for you and you know you will only ever just want something casual - it would be cruel to mess with his head like that.
2007-02-20 00:15:18 · answer #6 · answered by bumpity-bump 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't worry too much about age. I am 36 and I am dating a 24 year old. We have a wonderful relationship and have been together for over a year. If you like him stay with him. Good luck!
2007-02-20 00:15:57 · answer #7 · answered by Drunk365 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him how he feels about things, and let him know your feelings also. Its better to discuss things out so that you both know where you stand. Its not wrong to want things to stay casual just that he knows that is the main thing. I dont think hes that old, I'm 23 and went for a guy of 33. It all depends on their personality.
2007-02-20 00:28:06 · answer #8 · answered by Erika 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are happy with his age it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks - You are old enough to make your own decisions in life now. If you don't want it to be serious - then tell him that you want to take things at a slower pace - tell him about the break up etc etc - if he wants you he will wait - if not he'll go the way of the dinosaur and disappear!
2007-02-20 00:16:21 · answer #9 · answered by jamand 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Rachel,
over time your confidence in this guy will grow and your relationship with him will become a comitment. It's not today, but it's not never. You seem to have found the right guy for yourself, but once bitten twice shy and you are not sure yet if you can commit to him the way he wants you to.
Ask for his patience, tell him what happened to you before you met, he'll understand. He sounds like a great guy, best wishes to you both.
2007-02-20 00:25:48 · answer #10 · answered by The Alchemist 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋