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Ever since I was a little girl I've never really felt feminine or masculine. Sure, I knew I was a girl, but I've never truly felt 100% girly. I'm not gay or anything... its just I feel kinda neutral. I don't feel like a boy. I wear dresses, jewelry, makeup, I just don't wear them all the time, nor do I have a desire to get dressed up. I do have my girly moments, I played with dolls as a child (but not in the sense of a normal girl.. nothing very maternal) but at the same time I also raised toads and had a desire to play boy's games, but nothing too masculine either (like wrestling or football). Its like, you are either one extreme or the other, and I fall in the gap in the middle.

I'm completely straight... I've been around, I've had a boyfriend, I'm female, but I don't feel like one gender or the other most of the time. I usually feel flattered or suprised when someone refers to me as a "she". In my mind, I'm more of an "It"

Does that make any sense?

As far as puberty goes, I was ashamed to grow breasts and have boys pay attention to me... I felt odd and out of place. When the other kids started dating (around middle-school), I never had much of an interest until I was about seventeen (my parents didn't help, whenever I had a male friend over as a child they would always tease me horribly and try to get me to like him). I'm now used to being a full grown woman, and I'm comfortable with it, and I am comfortable with guys (in fact, I love guys)... but I still can't really identify with girls, or anyone for that matter, especially in a social setting. While most girls have crushes on guys, it takes me a good while to find anyone I'm interested in and I usually have to befriend them first and get to know them, I can't pick a "good looking" guy out of a crowd and automatically have a crush on him like my female friends do. And once I like someone, thats that.. I like them, and then I get to know them better and I start loving them.. and it sounds weird but I don't have any desire for anyone else around me.. which is weird, because while my other female friends are in a relationship and they see another guy, they daydream about him, giggle, discuss how cute he is, and sometimes they can't control themselves and have flings. Once I find a guy, I'm set.. I have no desire for another person (romantically) in my life.

What is wrong with me? Am I normal, or is everyone I hang out with different? Is this a hormonal imbalance?

2007-02-19 23:57:22 · 11 answers · asked by Shelly Smith 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

11 answers

On course you are normal, it seems that you are not very interested in the girlie girl mentality, you know some girls act really stupid when they like a boy and they go boy crazy, its quite stupid..But others like i did have never gone through that phase. Its because for one, you maybe much more mature than your friends, and their actions seems childish, two you just dont fall in love with everyone you automatically meet, which makes you smart, and three you happen to have more androgynous traits in you than others. Research this it is very interesting..i did a study on androgyny for my psych dissertation..you posess qualities belonging to males and females..this makes you very unique..some men are even turned on by the fact!!!! so you should not hide away from it...I was in pagents when i was younger and my friends know me as "guy brain" they even ask me questions about mens actions..LOL so you should view this as more of a gift, than a problem..youre just a very unique person..which is great..androgynous people make great friends..and usually tend to be more balanced in their lifestyles..they are more apt to join leadership positions, and also have friends of both genders...you can relate to everyone..its awesome..!!!

2007-02-20 00:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by CharlotteGrace 2 · 0 0

my one question is have you got an experience to be close with any famale friend or associate any unusual feeling towards her
aqnd also did by any chance you desire a woman or want to have a close intimate with her sorry i ask you this because a lady friend of mine which is married and one kid splitted with my best friend and she is now living with this woman we are all shocked because she didnt give us a sign or any kind of signs that she prefer a woman than man my friend said shes a very good wife
good in bed and a very good mother
but one day i talked to her and as a friend asked her what really happens she told me that her feeling was changed before her college graduation that she had one contact with her proffesor which is a woman and that bparticular contact opens her eyes and answer that doubt about her self,that is the only contact she got with opposite sex she feel guilty and later on she married my friend have a kid and a good family
i think the true feeling was there already but shes confused
and she tried to control and subdue that feeling
when she got the first contact it is the gate opener
and whwen a new circumtance happen she go for it
shes now living with a traffic officer---happily
with your case i hope i am wrong

2007-02-20 00:44:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hey there! I think you are perfectly normal. I'm actually quite similar to what you described. I used to play with dolls and engaged in alot of pretend play. I also played with lots of boy stuff like balls, catching, tadpoles, etc.. I fought with boys, I hung out with boys, fall down like boys, sit like them, talk like them and basically act like one. But I know I'm a girl. That's a fact u can't change. I only learnt how to identify with girls when I was seventeen. Even up till now, I still feel like Im the guy when I'm hanging out wif my girlfriends. They feel that way too, even when I look completely woman. My bf says Im like a boy. My family don't really care. Mum always had ple telling her that she has such a cute son when she used to carry me. Can u believe that.. I don't like girls talk. Once a while is fine but it gets annoying when all i hear is about cute guys or make up or new clothes. Dun get me wrong, I love men, make up and clothes but not too much of it. MAkes me sick. As for your relationship, I think u make a really great girlfriend. That's all. You're a one man woman. What's so bad about that.. I don't look at other men too. I'm just not interested at picking out cutes guys off the street, and hello.. Don't u think that getting to know a person better before getting into a relationship with that person is what we call being matured... Not everyone likes flings. So cheer up. You're perfectly fine. You just need to have a little more confidence in who you are. You don't have to be the same as any other girl. Just be yourself.

2007-02-20 00:23:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Welcome to my life. Don't worry, I'm almost in the middle (cept I'm a guy). Probably a good bit more on the boy side, but I'm still near your situation. I hang out with girls more as friends that a lot of other guys, (thats the majority of my class) but I still like to do guy stuff. So, at least theres someone oyu can relate too, and let me tell you, it makes me feel a lot better when there's someone else in the same sitch as I am :D So don't bother worrying about it. Depending on how old you are, you'll fit in somewhere by high school...or at least college.

2007-02-20 00:10:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Good news. You're completely normal...Well, what is normal for one person is not necessarily normal for another. It sounds as if you have your own personal outlook and feelings on things and you may be having trouble accepting them because you feel that you should be like other women. Don't worry about that. Obviously, you are comfortable with your sexuality and your approach to the opposite sex but leary of how you feel you should be and how others are. Try not to be that way. Accept that there are things that you would not want to change about yourself because that is who you are. One does not need to giggle, watch "chick flicks" or date for that matter to be a woman or drive a truck and watch football to be a man. Both are about dignity and respect. Try not to let anyone tell you otherwise. On the other hand, if you are worried, speak to a licensed therapist about it. It's possible that you may have what is colliqualliy referred to as a hang-up, something unresolved in your life that needs to be addressed. In the meantime, don't pressure yourself. You are who you are. Love yourself. Good luck.

2007-02-20 00:05:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

I think your background has a lot of contributions to your personality. If you could shelve some of your negative mind-set with regard to your ideology and so forth, the better you'll move forward in socializing with people around you - especially those of the opposite sex. You may contact me through my profile if you can for further discussion(s). Cheers!

2007-02-20 00:26:27 · answer #6 · answered by mykemejeje 5 · 0 0

have your hormones checked

I worked with a guy who never felt like a male
always felt like he didn;t belong to our gender

when he had his hormones checked,
it turned out he had 4 times as many female
than male.

strange but true,he was a male but had mostly female hormones

a kind of freak on nature,internally,
he had a real hard time dealing with this

it really screwed up his life.

but he never went to a psych doctor for help.

he left his wife and kids, became a woman for ten years
had all the operations, except the last one.

and turned around and became a man again after 10 yrs
as a woman.

lost his job,no one would hire him,
sad,sad, case.

so before you do anything silly
get checked for hormone imbalance
it can be treated with out getting
out of hand.

2007-02-20 00:07:59 · answer #7 · answered by rottentothecore 5 · 0 2

you are pretty normal since most of us don't really fit the category of normal which means that maybe their isn't a normal. I really don't think you are different then most of us so just find what you like and live life its to short to be going around worrying.

2007-02-20 00:02:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3 1

well so far to me that is not an abnormality or anything maybe its just that you dont feel either both maybe you should consult a psychiatrist or pyschologist (no offense) to make sure about your situation...

2007-02-20 00:04:23 · answer #9 · answered by vandian 2 · 1 1

umm..you are very weird..i understand the part about if u find someone u want to keep him thats perfectly undersatndable..but everything else is plain weird.......

2007-02-20 00:05:13 · answer #10 · answered by Video Phone 4 · 0 5

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