Pursuing a girl?

Question

I have "known" this girl for a while but became much closer friends over the past year, we would chat alot at work on msn and email each other and on the phone. we hang out with the same group of friends.It came naturally that I started to like the girl alot too much on the verge of loving her. Supressed feelings of love turns to hate and thats what it turned to. I acted like i didnt like her i acted weird around her i started to seek attention basically I acted like an idiot. I had lost my confidence esteem and self respect. but we were still close. she is a beautiful girl and im not Gods gift to women - too good for me

4 months ago something terrible happened which affected her i didnt deal with it properly and basically we started to part. She doesnt chat to me much now but im desperate to chat to her I care for her so much. but it seems that how I have acted has changed her opinion of me. I regret it. How do I pursue her again? or should I? we were close before. I messed up.

Just wanna say that basically I think now she may be interested ins omeone else and I get very very paranoid and I let it get to me. I cant compete against other guys cos I dont feel like I was a man letting things get to me the way they had.

I cant help but feel that I messed up so so badly with the girl I love and now I cant change the past. I acted like such an idiot and tearing myself up over it.

I just dont know why she doesnt wanna talk to me now or she doesnt seem to be interested in talking to me. she used to like call me when i wasnt around but now she wouldnt do that.

it hurts.

Answer 1

Depending on what you did...I would just talk to her. Make it a face to face talk. Let her know how you feel, if you are sorry about what you did, let her know that too! Life is too short to just let things go, especially if it's something you want. You never know until you try, and what's the worst thing she could say...no? Good luck!!!

Answer 2

Wow, this sounds so much like something I did a few years back. From my experience, I can tell you a few things *not* to do.

The word "pursue" in this context is scary. Try to think about it from her perspective. From what you say, you weren't very nice to her at some point. If you turn around and come after her full force, you will come across as being a bit, er, unbalanced.

Try not to talk too much. By that I mean don't hash over and over the past, attempting to explain what was going through your mind when you screwed up. Reliving and rationalizing your actions probably does little to make her feel better about you, and in fact, if you can come up with too good an explanation of why you did what you did, the lady in question might think that you are okay with how you treated her. A simple apology will suffice. Also, don't initiate every conversation. People who want to be your friend will call you or message you on their own once in a while. If she doesn't ever initiate a conversation, that's a huge clue that you need to take a few steps back and reevalaute this situation.

Don't do what I did -- that is, don't spam the poor soul with emails and phone calls begging for reassurance that everything will be okay. If you hurt her deeply, or seemingly abandoned her in a time of need, the wounds might be deep. Accept before you go into this that they might be too deep to ever fully heal. Whatever you choose to do, make it a minimum goal to be on good terms with this girl, but consider anything more than that a bonus. Open up the avenues of communication and hope that she's interested in renkindling the friendship, and that's about the most you can do.

Answer 3

show her u care