I really dislike my mum.?

Question

I know this is awful, but I really try to like her. I try to have conversations with her but she is so distant and just gives "mm-hmmm" as an answer for everything.
She disapproves of pretty much everything I do, even though I put myself through university.
I am embarrassed at how simple she is. She kicked me out halfway through my a levels because she thought I should get a proper job and not more education.
She has an over-simplified view of everything.
We were at an airport and we needed to check in, I was telling her we were late and we'd better go into the departure lounge, she told me not to be stupid and that the plane would wait. She was in duty free and buying alcohol. She shouted at me in front of everyone! sayin I have an attitude problem! I am 24. We were in Paris and she wanted to buy wine, there were no shops open so she bought a can of super-strength lager from an off-licence. She gets nasty when she hasn't had a drink.
Do girls turn into their mothers? :-(

Answer 1

I think I know how you feel. For over 20 years I tried to get my fathers approval for anything that I did, but it never happened and I hated him because of it. Then I finally realized that my happiness was within myself and took responsibility for approval myself. No matter how screwed up your childhood is or may have been you have to set it aside and become your own person. Once you are able to do this you will find joy, approval, and satisfaction in everything that you do. Now that I have done this and after 40 years my father has come around, done some changes himself and actually approves of some of the things that I do. It truly is a glorious feeling and at 49yrs I finally feel that he really does loves me.

Answer 2

I don't think you will turn into your mother. No disrespect intended, but it sounds like you are more intelligent, and this difference means you will have difficulty having a proper conversation with her. If you didn't stick to your guns and finish university, you would have regretted it in the future - so correct decision here. I have a friend who didnt do to uni because of the insistance of her parents to get a job. She regrets not going to uni now, and is doing a degree at age 40.. Have the confidence to use your own judgement, and try not to take any abuse from her to heart (easy to say isn't it?)

Answer 3

i understand totally

please don't let her get to you

and i promise you wont turn into her I DIDNT TURN INTO MY MOM

the reason why is i knew how she made me feel like i was a pea
like i didnt have a brain for myself and that SHE MUST ALWAYS BE RIGHT even tho she is saying it is snowing when its a hot sunny day

as long as you remember how she makes you feel YOU WILL NEVER BE LIKE HER

i had to let my mother go
i know its a hard thing to say and do i loved my mother for bringing me into the world and doing the best she could BUT
i could not respect her for treating me like a piece of crap

i told her face to face i can NOT be around you YOU ARE SO NEGATIVE and it is VERY UNHEALTHY when you feel you can treat me like the adult woman i am then we can have a relationship i am not 5 anymore and when you stop treating me like you own me then maybe we can talk.

after that i only talked to her on holidays and birthdays a few times i had to hang up on her without even saying bye because she started pulling an attitude on the phone.

it was very hard but i was much more calm and i got on with MY life the way I NEEDED IT TO BE not the way she WANTED it to be

now i own my company went back to school for that (she thought it was a stupid idea)
i have a great teenager who respects me because i respect him
and i am very very happy with my choices

i hope this helps
there are alot of us out there who have to write off our family
just remember this
WE CAN CHOOSE ARE FRIENDS (ppl who treat us the way we want to be treated and treat others) and we can weed out the bad friends BUT WE CANT CHOOSE ARE FAMILY(but we can weed them out too) to be a healthy human

Answer 4

Look i have the same problem.although i am 19 ,she beat me for just a word to my uncle .father said i have lost the screw of tv which i was mending,uncle replied him 'you should recognise it before and you shouldnt remain these screws there' i said why uncle it is a our house nobody else is coming in except us to replace items' my mother begin to beat me at that point i stopped her hand she became more angry,and begin to kick with her foot.There my father was luckly he safed me and shouted at her she couldnt keep her self while drinking tea throw the cup from her hands to the floor.My little sister cried ,run after mumy,she didnt listen her go away after 4 hours she was back calmed herself kissed me and said i was right.SOmetimes we should give them time to think,we should leave them by themselves .


the times that i go well with mother is the timesd that we are not always together but,also the times i spent times to listen her problems.Because,we dont know what is passing through at her work or at home.We just know she is our mother nothing more...tHE one who cared for us at our childhood.

Answer 5

I hope we dont turn into our mothers. For the most part I do not want to be mine either.

It has NEVER been written that we have to like our mother or even want to be around them. We can even got to an age and never have to see them again.

All we have to do is respect them, even if they do not respect us, for the simple fact that they are our parent.

Answer 6

not necassarily, especially if they recognize their mothers faults like that. i have to say, she does sound awful. if i were you i think id just spend as little time with her as possible. im not saying you should, im saying well done for putting up with her!

Answer 7

gee i feel babd for you but if you feel that wat about her then dont bother with her keep on going and stay away from her keep doing what you are doing and keep your head up dont let her steal your joy from you good luck

Answer 8

tell somone

Answer 9

No....................You should tell her or avoid her if she doesn't understand