I have an online friend who wants to begin a relationship with me. He is 27, and I just turned 40. Should I?

Question

Gosh....that seems like such an age difference. I'm not cradle robber....but, my oh my.....I do like him!

He swears he doesn't care about my age....or even the fact that I can't have anymore children.....despite having none of his own. The latter part reallllllly worries me.

I wouldn't wanna knock him out of having his very own children. But, he says he'd be content helping me raise my 8 yr. old....just fine.

What would you do?

Answer 1

Let's just say that there is nothing wrong with the idea of the relationship. Before you set yourself up for heartbreak and upset your 8 year old be sure of the following things:
1. He's not just in it for sex.
2. He is resposible, has a career, and can be a good role model
for your child.
3. That he knows your expectations and limits regarding
his role as "Dad". Is he allowed to discipline, how active
is he supposed to be in your childs life, etc.
4. That he can accept the role as Dad and not just boyfriend.

Spend some time dating him away from your child and if these things seem ok, then you got a keeper. Don't worry about the child thing unless he wavers on his statement. Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm a bit older than you are. However, I can say that it's worth a try, but you better do a very good background check on this dude. Their are so many very clever pedophiles out there in the world today. Just be safe and don't meet up with this guy until you have checked and re-checked his background. If you find the slightest conflicting negative information you better run far from this dude.

Just remember as you age, he's going to be looking at other women much younger wondering if he made a huge mistake and will more than likely want to sample some of the other women out there. I won't personally marry my GF who is 26, simply because i know that although i'm in great shape physically i can't keep my body looking like a 30-40 year old man forever even though i work out daily.

Answer 3

Well, they say that age doesn't matter, but I recently was in a long term relationship with a guy that was 14 years younger than me. It was great for awhile, but then the differences between our age became a problem. I had already done alot of things he hadn't done, and he said that us not having children was not an issue but it was, he wanted a mother figure and that was not fun. If you are super secure, and he is also it might work, but I would give it serious consideration, this is you and your child's life we are talking about, it is time that you will be investing and it seems that somebody a little closer to your age would be more appropriate for you and your child. Relationships are difficult enough without adding complications that don't need to be there.

Answer 4

I would not be worried about the age thing near as much as I would be about meeting him being it is an online relationship. There are a lot of factors that would go into my decision. How long you guys been corresponding? Have you talked on the phone and or exchanged letters, or is it just on the computer? If you honestly feel like meeting him is what you want to do, do it in a safe place (like a public place). I know you have probably heard as many safety tips/suggestions for meeting people in public that you only know from online that I have, so I won't go into all that. You are an intelligent,grown woman that can make your own decisions. I would just take it slow, like ANY relationship. Don't feel like you have to start planning a future with him as soon as you meet in person just because you have been communicating online for x amount of time. Good Luck and if you DO decide it would be a good thing, just go with your gut.

Answer 5

I would wake up to the fact that there is no such thing as an online friendship or online relationship. Your problem is not the age difference, your problem is the fact that you live in a fantasy world and you're in love with a non-existant, make-believe guy. My advice is to turn that computer off and try living in the real world for a change.

Answer 6

You asked a question only yesterday regarding a 50 year old man who you met online and who is living with you, Treefrog! How many internet relationships are you having?

Why do I get the feeling that you have a very liberal view of telling the truth?

I just looked at your questions love, half an hour ago you said you had split up with your fiance. Is this what you do to get attention? It's all lies isn't it?

Answer 7

At 27, you should believe in your heart that this guy's really sure of what he's telling you. But it seems you're highly pessimistic, and you don't trust him. That's a great enemy in love. Age difference should NOT be a barrier to establishing a relationship with someone you "love and trust with your whole heart".

Answer 8

Having all of this great maturity should be a guide, getting old is not too cool and having a young lad for arm candy may up your ego for a short while. It will not be long before you start having him change your depends>

Answer 9

I would truly wonder what is wrong with this man, he is willing to give up any chance of having his own children to be with a older women, whom he has never laid eyes one, and doesn't really know. You never know who you are talking to or what kinds of scams they are running. Be very careful, and surely, I would not allow him anywhere around my child. You don't even know this man, only what he has told you. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 10

you have a frined and you are in difficulty. I need a good friend to share and care but have none. Ho God what a contrast in life. I wished I had some one like you to be my friend who is concerned and who doesnot want to ruin a young life. I am in your age bracket and I have been longing to have a goooood friend.

God bless good souls.