Humour gives smile and smile gives happiness. Can you please tell one best joke you ever read or heard?

Question

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Answer 1

Detective testA policeman was interrogating 3 SARDARS who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first SARDAR a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it."This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

"The first SARDAR answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"The policeman says, "Well...uh... that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second SARDAR and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"The second SARDAR smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?

"Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third SARDAR and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."The SARDAR looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that.

"He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face."Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?""That's easy," the SARDAR replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

Answer 2

Smart Thinking
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce.

The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some idiot wants to buy half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but bitches and hockey players up there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."

"Ho really?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

Answer 3

lmao that grow to be a marvelous shaggy dog tale! thanks for sharing! I go away you with this: Texas Trooper 2 adult men are rushing through Texas at the same time as a state trooper pulls them over. The trooper walks as a lot because the drivers aspect of the vehicle, receives out his billy club and smacks the driver throughout the face. shocked, the driver asks, ''Why did you try this??'' The trooper responds, ''you're in Texas now son, you've that license out and prepared around the following!'' ''I say sorry sir, i'm no longer from around the following.'' The trooper then walks to the passenger aspect of the vehicle, and faucets on the window. The passenger rolls down his window and the trooper takes out his club and smacks the passenger throughout the face. ''What grow to be that for?'' requested the passenger. ''i understand your variety,'' says the trooper, ''about 2 miles down the line you would have regarded at your chum and suggested 'I desire that son of a ***** would have tried that crap with me!''' Cheers! =D

Answer 4

Once there was a rich businessman named John Hawkins who had a man named William Jackson as his chauffeur. Hawkins asked Jackson to drive him to the airport in his new Mercedes Benz. At the airport, Hawkins got down from the car and told Jackson to park the car and said that he would be back in a few minutes. When he came back, oh my god, he saw something really devastating. Jackson said, "Sir, the four wheeler parking was very expensive, so I REMOVED TWO WHEELS FROM THE CAR and parked it in the two wheeler parking lot.

Answer 5

An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries and one drink.

The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip and then sets the cup down between them. As he begins to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and whispering "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man begins to eat his fries a young man comes to the table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man replies that they''re just fine - they''re just used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn''t eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another meal for them.

This time the old woman says "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

As the old man finishes and was wipes his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks "May I ask what is it you are waiting for?"

The old woman answers... "THE TEETH."


A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven.
St. Peter tells them that he'll do his best to work on it for them.

Three months pass by and the couple hear nothing. They bump into St. Peter and ask him about the marriage.

He says, "I'm still working on it."

Two years pass by and no marriage.

St. Peter again assures them that he's working on it.

Finally after twenty long years, St. Peter comes running with a priest and tells the couple it's time for their wedding.

The couple marry and live happily for a while. But after a few months the couple go and find St. Peter and tell him things are not working out, and that they want to get a divorce.

"Can you arrange it for us?" they ask.

St. Peter replies, "Are you kidding?!! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?"
cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
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How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.
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Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U.

Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.

Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.

Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.

Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.

Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.

Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.

Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.

Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.

Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.

Answer 7

Have you heard of someone who tried to drown a fish?

Answer 8

The Wide Mouth Frog >:)

A wide mouth frog was hopping through the forest.
He met a squirrel.

(Put your index fingers in the corners of your mouth, to make a really wide mouth (frog effect )as you talk - only for the frogs speech.)

"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.

"I'm a squirrel and I eat nuts." said the squirrel

"I'm a wide mouth frog & I eat flies." The wide mouth frog replies as he went on his way.

He met a pig.

"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.

"I'm a pig & I eat nuts." said the pig.

"I'm a wide mouth frog & I eat flies." The wide mouthed frog replies as he went on his way.

He met a goat.

"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.

"I'm a goat & I eat grass." said the goat.

"I'm a wide mouth frog & I eat flies." The wide mouthed frog replies as he went on his way.

He met a badger.

"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.

"I'm a badger & I eat wide mouthed frogs." said the badger

(Take your fingers out of your mouth for this bit of the wide mouthed frogs speech, and make your lips as small as possible!)

The wide mouthed frog replied, "OooO, you don't see many of those around, do you!!!!", as he hopped away

Answer 9

touch ur heart u will feel the rhythm of ur heart beat ,tap ur head u can feel the tapping of an empty pot

Answer 10

YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION; I have 12 legs, 12 arms, 8 head, WHO AM I. i am sure you can't answer THE ANSWER IS A LIER.