more frequent with her,i was going to punish her by not allowing her freind to come for tea.ive stuck to it and cancelled the arangments,but i feal so guilty about it.am i being to harsh?
2007-02-19 20:47:15 · 19 answers · asked by karen. 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
you are not being harsh AT ALL......my 3 are now 15 (boy) and 2 girls 13 and 11....my 2 girls have been a lot harder work than my son, and the most important thing I have learnt, is to carry out any threats of punishment that you make, if you give in thats where the problems start. If more parents carried out punishments at an early age, there would be more respect from youngsters!. I have to admit I am extremely proud of the way all 3 of my children are turning out with manners, respect and good behaviour Sure, there are times when I have punished and felt guilty, and i am sure there are going to be a lot more times I feel guilty, but thats normal, just dont give in!!! best of luck, it will all be worth it in the end (so people keep telling me!!!)
2007-02-19 20:54:55 · answer #1 · answered by tizzy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being as you had already arranged for her friend to come over I would have chosen a different punishment as this punishment now involves two children, not just your daughter. I hope the planned visit was not a reward for good behaviour either. What I do when my children misbehave is take something off them that does not involve punishing someone else. For example, if you had been talking about the friend coming over but had not organised it, then I would have said no, we won't be doing that, or possibly grounding her so that she cannot have friends over for a specific amount of time, or taking TV viewing off her or something else that she might enjoy. All children are different. With my eldest, it is social things that really hurt the most, with the next child, it is computers and TV that he most misses and the youngest loves his toy cars, Lego and Hi-5 DVD. If they are rewarded for good behaviour, eg a friend coming to sleepover on the weekend, but are naughty the day before, I never cancel that sleepover; I always find something else to take from them. And not just because it would involve another child, but also because in that instance, it is a reward for something else. It also helps to be consistent and following through on what you say you are going to do. Even though I wouldn't personally agree with the punishment you have chosen, it is too late now to change it if you have already told your daughter that is her punishment. It is also important to remember to let the punishment fit the 'crime'. My children know that for different levels of misbehaviour to expect certain levels of punishment. Just like any kid they have their moments, but I am grateful that they are few and far between.
2007-02-20 06:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by Avril P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being too harsh at all. Children have to learn that bad behaviour has a consequence. And what you are doing will work far better than shouting or smacking her.
Stick to your set punishment because if you cave in and change your mind your daughter will think she can get away with bad behaviour.
You sound like a great parent. Hang in there.
2007-02-20 04:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she was very naughty, as you say, then there is no need to feel harsh about it. In fact, it's the best thing to do for her because she'll know now that she shouldn't behave like that again otherwise there will be a consequence. Don't worry, don't feel bad, if she's good for the remainder of the day....then how about having a nice day in with her? Why don't you bake some cookies with her or something? If mummy spends time with her then it will strengthen your relationship and make her feel more respectful towards you =) x
2007-02-20 04:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by don't stop the music ♪ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are doing the right thing. If more parents nipped bad behaviour in the bud before it escalated then there would be fewer kids out of control at the age of 12.
The guilty bit is called being a parent, we all suffer from it when we punish our kids. You won't feel guilty when your wee girl grows up to be a decent adult.Good for you.
just make sure the punishment is appropriate for her age and understanding
2007-02-20 04:54:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you don't be strict with her now she will just walk all over you latter i have foster kids in and out of my home and i see all the time what happens when children have no boundary's at all and its sad i get them when there over 12 and think they know everything and are grown ups there very hard to retrain i have 3 girls now who had mother (no father in pic ) and there mothers let them do anything they wanted by 12-13 these girls where running the streets on drugs and smoking now i get to try and get them used to living in a family with rules and guidelines they are now 15 and 17 one has gotten a job and follows the rules the other omg she is hand full and i just found out she is telling her Friends she wants a baby
get control now or you never will the harsher the punishment the less likely they are to do it again
2007-02-20 06:08:52 · answer #6 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only need to be harsh ONCE, she prob wont do it again. As long as you gave her a warning to stop before putting the consequence in place. She then at least gets the chance to correct her behaviour or a priviledge is taken away.
Its hard i know but dont give in.
2007-02-20 08:17:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your little girl knows the difference between good and not so good behavior by the age of 6...dont feel guilty for punishing her..she has to learn,,and who better to teach her than you?ive a 6 year old little boy who likes to learn the hard way.he very offen trys to be naughty but because of this behavior,i often have to cancell events...dont worry to much....they dont stay young and silly forever
2007-02-20 05:02:46 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, if you let her get away with it she will keep being naught. Dont get cross with her or shout or hit her though, that would be harsh, just give her punishments like not letting her see her friend or no sweets for a week or something
2007-02-20 05:32:07 · answer #9 · answered by Teenage Drama Queen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope. I think you are being very fair. If she gets used to the fact that she can be naughty and still get a treat she will continue with the behaviour. Just don't forget to reward her if she is good.
2007-02-20 04:51:05 · answer #10 · answered by Princesspoison 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋