to go stay with his dad. long story short- his father is getting remarried- and his clearly confused about where he will now fit in (with new wife and two kids) so lately he has been very teary eyed and often says he misses his dad very much. basically, i need advise from a MAN or boy whose mother sent him to stay with his father. was it the best idea? or would you have preferred to have been with your mother. i am not married, nor am in a relationship. and my sons father is NOT the best role model around. but do i have a right to decide for my son whether he is is or isnt?? i dont know what more to do. my son seems so unhappy lately. i just want him to be happy....
2007-02-19 20:40:42 · 8 answers · asked by halfpint 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
p.s. his father has him every second weekend as it is right now.
2007-02-19 21:18:43 · update #1
Well I personally have not dealt with anything like this but my Fiance's mother sent him to live with his father when he was young because she thought it was the right thing to do and it may have been but when he tells me about it he is so sad, he felt like his mother just left him. I would say that maybe you should just try to make more time available for his father to see him and you both need to be aware of how your son is feeling!! Make sure that he is not forgotten during all of his fathers wedding plans and at the same time that you give him all the attention you can! Let him know you both love him very much and maybe even consider talking to a family counselor of some kind.
Hope this helps.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-02-20 04:45:56 · answer #1 · answered by KB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see a lot of people here telling you it's your right to decide wether your son sees his father or not.
Well he has rights too.
You obviously have a visitation set up to allow him to spend time with his son, and his son obviously misses him.
As long as he is the boy's father, pays his child support and upholds his end of the visitation agreement, (without any abuse or neglect of your son of course) he has every right to see his son and spend the time with him.
You say he isn't the best role model.
Well, I don't know the man, but I guarantee there are worse fathers out ther than he is, otherwise a woman with 2 children wouldn't marry him.
A child of 5 isn't not going to look at him in any way besides "daddy". He doesn't care about any of the other stuff.
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with the boy's father, but you are going to have to trust his intentions are good until he proves different.
Don't worry about your son, he will be fine.
2007-02-20 15:02:15 · answer #2 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son is only 5, then yes you can say yes/no to staying with his dad. He's too young to know what is best for him and you have to make the best judgement. I'd say, if you trust that your husband won't neglect him and is able to care for your son, then let your son decide whether he wants to stay with his dad or not. I'd tell him that it's not for good, but he can give it a try. He might realize on his own that he likes it better with you anyway. Some kids need to learn the hard way. Be strong and just let your son know that you're there for him.
Ask his dad what he thinks about the idea too.
2007-02-20 04:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by impossiblemama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have all d rights to decide 4 ur son atleast u r showing the care not like his selfish father who is getting married.Ithink let ur son go to his father when he wants coz he will notice d difference after her new mother comes in.u dont have to do much trust me.
2007-02-20 06:35:36 · answer #4 · answered by sherry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, these r kids, u have to make decisions for them until they are 18, but at the end of the day, no matter what u decide it will always be wrong when they get older, because they dont know better
compromise with the dad, let the 2 of them spent as much time as possible, but as u r so worried, let him stay with u and just let him visit his dad
have u explained to him yet, try that, kids arent as dumb as they seem
all the best of luck!
2007-02-20 04:47:32 · answer #5 · answered by livinia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do just as your son wants to do. Then stop it when he wants to stop.
You can't do it all, but just go with the flow unless daddy puts him in a dangerous setting with drugs or booze.
Good luck
2007-02-20 04:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as long as youdont feel that they would abuse your son in any way or neglect him the its a great Idea for him to spend as much time with his dad as possible. my ex husband and i have joint custody of our boys they stay with him for 2 weeks and with me for 2 weeks. this works out great. Its important for children of Divorsed parents to know both parents.
also It seems that he has a new step mom to get to know. unless she trats him badley, ild encourage that.
2007-02-20 04:50:53 · answer #7 · answered by eightieschick70 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs his father to guide him even more then you!
Let his father be there for him
2007-02-20 05:15:12 · answer #8 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋