Does He Really Wanna Marry Me?

Question

Look my "boyfriend" and I have been together 2 1/2 years, have a 5 month old son, and lived happily together for 1 year. I am more than ready to make him my husband. He says he's ready but when I tried to set a date (cuz it's gonna b this summer or I'm leaving) he kept stalling me until I got mad. And now I still waiting on a ring. I mean Valentines he kept talking about how he had all these things planned so you know what I expected but Nope I didn't get it. So now I like does he really wanna do this or what.

Here's random details:
We're both 20.
He cheated in the past.
I still have trust issues.
I honestly in my heart believe we are soulmates.
He works and takes care of us.( I'm a at-home mom)
I truly believe he loves me.
I don't think he is cheating.(He's always at home (AND I MEAN ALWAYS))

ok wanted to inform others: I'm an at-home mom because I deserve the luxury. I worked our entire relationship including my life threating pregancy( 80 plus hrs a week most of the time). My bf feels it's responsiblity as a man to do all the work. So I'm at home for now. Ok? Please continue to be honest though. All answers so far have been helpful.

Answer 1

I think he maybe not be he is not really ready or a little scared. Also I know some guys that never want to get married. Just do not pressure him into it just bring it up once in a while to remind him or sit and talk to him about it but do not force him into answering. leave it open for him.

Answer 2

Everybody knows if you get preggers so young you make him marry you BEFORE you have the baby. You missed your chance and should move on as it will only create a bad environment for your baby, which, at this point, should be the main concern.
I know you have a baby but 20 is way too young to settle down; especially with someone that already cheated.
I guarantee you will eventually find someone that wants to be with you because forcing someone to marry will only make you feel sad in the long run.
Bad stuff happens to everyone and having an attitude of deserving something isn't good for anyone. Get a PT job and go back to school. Most colleges have awesome programs for single mothers.

Answer 3

You mentioned he has cheated in the past and you have "trust issues."
That's never a good sign. WHether you work at home or not, it doesn't make a difference. He doesn't seem ready yet and I am not sure why you would want to marry someone who has been unfaithful before and who you don't even TRUST.
Every relationship is built on trust. If you don't trust him now, it will be 20x worse when you are married.
And asking him everyday when it will happen is going to put him off.

He doesn't seem right for you, hun.

Answer 4

20 is too young to get married. Get an education first and build your own independent income. Also, you might not want to hear this but I don't think your bf is ready to be married.

Answer 5

Why would he want to marry you? Sounds like you are not bringing too much to the table if you ask me. "I am a stay at home mom because I have the luxury of being one". You're 20 what did you work for like 2 or 3 years tops? He doesn't have to marry you and the fact that he is hesitant speaks volumes about his behavior.

You sound like a leach to me and I would bet money that if he finds something better he will run!

How does begging a man to marry you feel? Bet its great for your self esteem...

Answer 6

I keep saying if my boyfriend doesn't propose by Christmas, I'm gone, but in all reality, I know I won't leave. If you know you 2 are soul mates, just be patient w/ him. Guys get so freaked out at the thought of marriage! I don't know why, but they do! I was talking to my b/f the other night about it and he said he knows when he's going to ask me but that's all he would say. I don't know if he only said that to shut me up or what, but....my point is.....If he's at least talking about it with you, that's a BIG step for a guy! So, just be patient. I'm sure it's coming. Try not to talk about it so much. Things happen a lot faster when you don't expect things!

Answer 7

Probably not, so sorry... By your living with him, and keeping house, he has no want or need to get married. This is something you should have considered before having a child. Now you want something different. We cannot change someone else, we can only change ourselves. Also, the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour, so I wonder why you would want to continue with him.
My best advice is for you to get some independence, move out on your own with your child, and continue to date your bf if you wish. And, before you give the ultimatum the way you say, make sure you will stick to it - or don't bother giving it to him.

Answer 8

At 20 yrs. old with a child and what I'm going to assume is a guy who treats you right (now atleast) I can see how you feel ready to settle down and get married...

but as a 20 yr old male, no matter how much he may want to marry you, he is probably just scared.

I'm 21 and have been engaged for over a year, now my guy loves me, he just needs time to ease into the idea of marriage...


I'm sure he will come around, just remember to tell him that wedding or not you love him and wat to be with him forever, and if that's not how you feel than why would a marriage certificate change that?

*****I came back ad after reading some of the comments below mine I just wanna say that I respect you SO MUCH for being a stay at home mom, anyone who has never raised a child has no right to tell you what you should or shouldn't do.
And props to you for giving your guy a second chance, I gave my boy a second chance once and he proved that he learned his lesson.
NEVER EVER EVER let anyone tell you that you should be ashamed of not "working" you are a woman and if you chose to be a wife and mother than you should do it!
******

Answer 9

Have you read the book "He's just not that into You"? maybe it will answer your question, or he is just plain scared coz it seems like you are pressuring him.Being soulmate does not mean you need to be married, right?You are happy together and lived for a year what does a few months gonna do?Give him room to breathe please.

Answer 10

Wow..he has cheated in the past. Hmmmmm..interesting. So, you forgave him, and after that car crashing tradgedy..you decided to make a family with him. You still have trust issues. But regardless of all that, you still want to marry the guy? If that child wasn't there, would you still want to marry him? And your both only 20! What is the rush? The thing is YOU might be ready for marriage, ready to settle down and play the house wife, BUT that doesn't mean he is ready. Just because he is talking about it, that doesn't mean he is ready or wants too. He has everything a husband would have, but without the ties. Stop giving HIM the choice. Take charge of your life and stop waiting around. If you really want to be married, he may not be the marrying type, so you must go out there and find it. If he is not willing to give you that. What are you, not good enough for him? What is his problem? And remember this too, you will NEVER trully know if your mate is totally loyal. All you can do is hope and pray he will be, because worrying about it is hell. And you don't want to do this to yourself. If I were you, I wouldn't marry him. For the fact that he already broke a promise to be loyal and devoted to me, instead he layed up with another, and did what he does to you. That personally..is sick. Life is too short. Id rather be a lone. And happy. Why be in a relationship if there is trust issues. Seriously..speaking from experience..you will never feel completly free...