You know like crouching tiger ...?every martial art movie they float and I want to too!
Please help
2007-02-19 17:58:30 · 21 answers · asked by BRUISER 3 in Sports ➔ Martial Arts
Some of you take some of these ?'s waayy to seriously This question was put there as a joke!
If you cant tell the difference between a stupid ? like mine and a serious one then well you should lighten up? But then again I dont care!
2007-02-20 00:59:14 · update #1
99% of you knew this was a joke its just hard to believe someone(people) cant tell the difference?
2007-02-20 01:06:12 · update #2
First you must become a TRUE Ninja. To be a Ninja, you must first complete a "Ninternship" under a true Ninja consisting of no less than a full MONTH of training in the mysterious art of Tai Bo. During week one, you will learn how to jumpflip backwards into trees, run along walls, and clean your Gi by simply punching all dirt and odor from it.
Week 2 consists of walking through walls (preferrably without getting stuck- you do NOT want your book club to come over and see your rear end sticking partially out of your front room wall), turning Ninvisible, dividing by zero, touching MC Hammer, and ALWAYS knowing the exact location of Carmen San Diego.
Week 3 involves punching so fast that people actually get hit yesterday. These punches actually alter DNA so that years after you hit someone, their children will clutch their heads and say "HEY!! WHAT WAS THAT!!??""
Week 4 you work on Brokeback Mountain. No not the movie about gay cowboys, but the pile of dead pirates in your backyard. You find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, and how to smell fear.
Graduation occurs when you can jumpstart cars but putting cables on your nipples, and take a shower by riding a 9 foot tall Grizzly Bear through a car wash. Extra credit involves stretching a daimond until it becomes coal again.
Those lucky enough to survive the Ninternship in a month that has 5 weeks will get the added benefits of learning the last digit of Pi, how to Ninjasize your meals at Burger King, and how to destroy viruses while being on the Ninjascopic level yourself.
Hope this helps...
(MUCH props to Ask a Ninja)
Sensei Cox
2007-02-23 04:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by hitman142002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek a true martial arts master like Li Mu Bai or Wong Fei Hung, but these two aren't here anymore. So now, you must find an old hermit in the mountains of China or a small farming village with a martial arts master that stays there in China.
It takes you about 200 years of training, so you must be ready.
2007-02-20 08:38:08 · answer #2 · answered by The World Ends with You 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tell ya what. Come on down and for a couple of Benjamin$$, I can have you defying gravity and levitating. I'm a master of the
"flying" harness and indoor "crane" technique. My studio is in Burbank, CA. Hit me up "grasshoppah".
2007-02-22 15:49:56 · answer #3 · answered by RC@lax 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well......I would say about 25 minutes or so. It will really depend on how long it takes for you to find your "MOJO" and find an affordable special effects coordinator!! Good luck with that. Remember, 911 is open 24/7 just for you!
2007-02-20 02:10:55 · answer #4 · answered by Navydoc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With the proper cable equipment like the one the use for those movies, you can fly in a matter of minutes! if you have enough money or are computer savy, with CGI effects you can do it in a couple of months, maybe weeks.
2007-02-20 09:36:42 · answer #5 · answered by Frank the tank 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to watch a lot of Matrix movies, then you have to do squats and leg curls while smoking the pot. Then you have to imagine that if you do not stay up in the air you will land on John Cena's lap!
2007-02-20 23:11:29 · answer #6 · answered by Indyhawk2k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the first thing you need to do is climb to the top of Mt. Kikalakakawa. There you will find a great sorcerer and he will bestow the gift of flight upon you.
What a silly question.
2007-02-20 11:36:11 · answer #7 · answered by s8n_spawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on how long it took you to become talented enough to become a kung fu movie action hero. I seriously hope you are joking though. By the way , nice beard it reminds me of Grizzly Adams.
2007-02-20 06:57:49 · answer #8 · answered by Ray H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should go on an ultra low-calorie diet, to enable you to train for the next 92-94 years.
2007-02-20 02:20:04 · answer #9 · answered by The AC Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 months of MA training. And then go to the moon and do your kicks. No alien waiting there will stand a chance against you.
2007-02-20 07:35:30 · answer #10 · answered by Gary W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋