We were together for over a year and half, we feel in love then i relized He had a drinking problem, and i tried working through it with him but it hurt so bad watching him hurt himself. I gave him many chances to stop and just be with me but he couldnt, i wanted to marry him so bad, he was so great when he did not drink, he was PERFECT for me, but when he did he was not the same. After chance after chance i finally left him when he told me he cant stop and wants to drink with friends, i felt he was chosen it over me. Why then does it hurt so bad to have left him...iam only 23 but i cant stop crying for the fear i lost my future over a bevarage. Please help me get over it and how...iam so sad and alone, i cant stop cryen every night...this is the hardest thing i have ever ever ever had to go through
2007-02-19 16:54:35 · 10 answers · asked by :::Rae::: 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
go to an allanon meeting you will find the help your looking for they are veary supportive and its annomonus .
2007-02-19 17:04:46 · answer #1 · answered by dan m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is, it was the right thing to leave him. You did everything you could and you even gave him a choice. He took the drink in stead. Although it hurts, and if you two are truly in love then the power of love of laps the power of addiction. Let him fix himself up, if he changes you might be able to get back together but you should live your life until then. It would have been worse if you had gotten married then you found out. 1 Cor. 13:4 says " ......Love is Patient...."
2007-02-20 01:13:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have someone we love but can't be with. I know this is hard for you. If you can get him to a rehab or AA that would be good. But, really it isn't your job to fix him. That is up to him.
I would suggest you find an Alanon meeting, which is a group for friends & family with alcoholics in their life. The group saved my sanity.
You are wise to not be with him. His addiction will control him.
He might love you but the drinking will rule his life.
It is a great loss for sure. But, you have learned some life lessons. You can and you will move on.
I wish you the best
2007-02-20 01:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got to accept that crying does not change the fact that you have given up on the man you once loved so so much, like when i gave up on my him too, i cried and cried, but one day i woke up and realise that his image in my heart has been taken over by work, and i no longer have the strength to cry after a long day of work, you can say im heartless, but in the end, its you who decide how your life would be, not me, i could only wipe away you tears , but could not stop them, but believe me, time will heal your wounds, till when you are 50 yrs old, and you looked back, what would you like to think of yourself?? Ashamed? Or proud that you walk out with your head held high? Pls decide youself.
2007-02-20 01:06:48 · answer #4 · answered by jade s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard to let go of someone you love, especially when they have a problem. I was married to mine for 8 years before I finally realized that I was in an unhealthy situation for both myself and my daughter. I left and took my daughter to live with some friends.
I still have feelings for this man 4 years later, but I've learned that loving someone in that situation only allows them to be co-dependent.
I know it hurts to think that maybe you gave up something good. But believe me, it isn't/wasn 't good. You need to find someone who will do all the things for you that he did when he was sober that is NOT and alcoholic.
The only advice I can give about getting over him is to allow yourself the time to grieve his loss. Separation from someone we love (especially in this case) has to go through the stages of grief. I can only say, it WILL get better. Let yourself move on and spend time with friends who agree that you did the right thing. People who try to tell you that you f'd up will only make the situation worse.
Take time to be yourself without him. Take time to allow yourself to grieve. It will get better if you spend time NOT dwelling on how to get over him but on how to get on with your life.
Good luck. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
2007-02-20 01:05:28 · answer #5 · answered by grizabellamom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look hunny, just think the other way .If you would have married him,that would have been worse.You will get over him soon.It takes time.
2007-02-20 01:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats something you need to get over that life style is nothing but pain and misery im speaking from experiance so dont waiste your life its not worth it
2007-02-20 01:02:53 · answer #7 · answered by dee_ann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get another man.Men ain't nothing but dogs.They eat what you through out.Girl call me alright my number is"7786784"
2007-02-20 01:04:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
please stop crying...........problems can never be solved by panic....try to change him with care and love..............tell him how you feel. dont ask him to choose between you or drinking......hope for the best
2007-02-20 01:00:40 · answer #9 · answered by Ashiii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
got any whiskey?
usually helps
2007-02-20 00:59:55 · answer #10 · answered by onemark1966 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋