How am i suppose to forgive someone who hurt and left me? And why?

Question

I am having trouble accepting the fact that I have to forgive my deadbeat soon to be ex hubby (who was 7 younger than I am) who left me and wounded me like dying person... It almost been 9 months now and I don't know how to forgive him and which the Bible say two souls turn become 1. I am nothing now!!! I am very hurt and everytimes I heard someone getting married or going to have a baby, I feel like I want to throw myself down on the ground and bite some dust. He left me no choice but to divorce him (which I don't believe in it). He shouldn't marry me at the frist place when he want to leave me.. I feel like I was being used.
How am I suppose to forgive him after he bein' lying and childlish son of gun who married me and 36 days later left me?!

And the second question, Have any Christian or any religon ever being tempted by strangers when come to trying to get over like dating or whatever? I have feel like being tempeted by strangers several times.

How people deal with this?

Answer 1

Young lady I feel your pain. I have had several friends and relatives in the same boat. He had no right to do this to you. My wife and I have been married for 31 years. We have three beautiful children and one grandchild. She is the most beautiful woman in my world. I would not cheat on her for any reason. My dad and mom have been together for over 50 years and he is the most tremendous father-figure in the world. I love them both. I believe that GOD brought these people into my life to shape me as I am today. GOD has been a tremendous influence in my life and I would be glad to assist you in any way that I can. He does want us to firgive. NOT for your husband's sake, but for yours. YOU will be able to survive and find a wonderful man to care for you and be a great husband for you but he will forever be without the likes of you. That will eventually haunt him to his life's end. I hope that this helps you in some way. My wife aned I have been Christians for about twenty years and we are regular members of a Non-denominational Church that follows GOD's WORD to the letter. I hope that you will read everything that I write and will look up the Bible references also.

Study these scriptures and see what you think. To become a Christian:
1. HEAR - Romans 10:14 How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher?
2. BELIEVE - In Mark 16:16, Jesus said “He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.”
3. REPENT - Luke 13:3 I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.
4. CONFESS CHRIST - 1 Timothy 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
5. BE BAPTIZED - Romans 6:3-4 do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
6. CONTINUE TO BE FAITHFUL - Jesus said in Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.”
Send me a note if you have questions. I am anxious to hear from you. Have a Great day.
Eds

Answer 2

I can empathize as something very similar happened to me. (I was only married for a few short months, he left). I know exactly what you are talking about when you say it hurts when you hear about someone getting married or having children. it will take a long time before you get to the point were you might be able to forgive.

Sometimes there is no choice but divorce unfortunately. Particularly if the other person just up and leaves you high and dry. A man who would leave that soon after getting married probably had serious doubts before getting married and shouldn't have done so. I for one take oaths very seriously.

But dear, please don't think you are nothing if you're not in a relationship.

Answer 3

Are you involved in a church? It really helps to have the support of others who can encourage, listen, and pray with/for you during a time like this.
I think alot of times we feel that if we forgive someone, that means God doesn't think it's a big deal and that we're not supposed to be feeling hurt about it. But really the opposite is true. I believe God tells us to forgive others so we can let go of the offense and get the healing we need. Someone once said that it's like us drinking poison and hoping that person will die.
Unforgiveness can cause bitterness, which will taint every area of your life ......and it will definitely affect your relationship with God. Satan will always bring temptation when you're weak or unprepared. There's always the beautiful side of evil, it's only after you take the bait that you see the ugly side.

Answer 4

Ya know something, this is why I couldn't get down with the whole religion idea. I had an ex who lied and cheated on me for about a year. He was supposedly a "saved" Christian. He introduced me to the whole religion because I really knew nothing about it. Long story short, I did my best to be a loving forgiving Christian and to be honest, I just couldn't turn the other cheek and forgive him. Instead, I left him high & dry and I never felt better. You don't HAVE to forgive anyone. At some point, the anger will fade but you'll still feel betrayed. It's ok to have those feelings. There are people that I refuse to forgive because I'm not God. I can do my best to be a good person and not let those people who hurt me cause me to become bitter or cynical.

In your case (and it's a doozy!), you don't have to forgive this scumbag...ever! Don't force yourself too either. You're human and you're not perfect. God doesn't expect you to let people walk all over you and for you to just roll over and accept it. Get those toxic people out of your life and don't beat yourself up about forgiving them. Some people don't deserve the forgiveness and if they're truly sorry, they can repent to God or whomever. It's not your job or burden to forgive everyone that has wronged you. You don't have to. Be glad the loser is out of your life and try to take it as a life lesson. This dude messed up, you're the good guy here. You did your best. In some cases, you just have to let that person go and concede to the fact that you just can't or won't forgive. I doubt God will hold that against you. You've made an effort but if you can't do it, don't force it. With time, you might forgive him. Even if you don't, you won't burn in hell for not forgiving an immoral idiot.

Answer 5

It can take some time to forgive, I understand. But if you know the Lord you have the power and strength to do so. For your sake you have to do it, not his sake. If you don't it will turn to bitterness and it will effect all of your future relationships you have with people. Friends, family, children, everyone. You have to pray for your enemies who despitefully use you. You need to have pity on them (feel sorry for them) instead of hate and anger. The grieving for yourself will take time, but you can choose, right now to have pity on him for what he has done and look at what a miserable state his life will be in because of his choices. You can choose to rise above this rejection and not let it conquer you. You will Not be the person God wants you to be if you allow this to destroy you. Be strong and stand. Stay in the word, keep the faith. As far as not believing in marriage, that is ok, I agree it should not be an option but sometimes is necessary. Remember, God wrote the nation of Isreal a bill of divorcement and God has been divorced. He will understand, make your hurt known to Him and He will give you the strength to overcome this heart wrenching situation.

Answer 6

Wow, this is a tough one!!! Forgiveness will come with time and distance, you'll see. Your job right now is to: 1) "thank God you two have not had children together", and 2) Ask God to help you become the person He wants you to be.

This will be a life-time journey --- a pleasant journey if you trust God to walk with you every step of the way. It is okay to pray as if it is up to God to improve you but you also must work hard to improve yourself. Hard work is how you keep faith with God. So roll up your sleeves and get busy --- reading everything you can get your hands on, listening to all types of music until you find what you enjoy the most, reach out and help someone in some large or small way everyday. Trust me --- you will have so much fun growing you will not even remember 'what's his name's, name' let alone take the time to hate him. Go for it, champ!!!!

Answer 7

First - you are not nothing. You are an individual worthy of self love and love from someone who deserves you. You don't need a man to validate you. If he left you - it's his loss and his problem. Chances are you're better off without him. So you made a bad judgement. We all do. How were you supposed to know he was a jackass? Live and learn.

I think you might benefit from some self esteem exercises and a little independence. :) Don't worry - you can do this. You're stronger than you think. I think all people are tempted in times of weakness. Just remember to love and respect yourself. With self love and self respect, you won't be tempted. You might seek out counseling to help you.

Also - forgiveness comes in its own time. Once you've moved on, you'll be able to. But don't try to force it. It won't happen until you're ready for it to happen.

Answer 8

Forgiveness is not a feeling. It's obedience to God and it takes time. If God has forgiven you for your sins (we all have sinned), then you must forgive him. You can't condone what he has done because he made a promise to love you and stay with you forever. He is wrong and I understand what you are saying. Next time, be careful of the type person you choose.

Yes, there are men out there who will take advantage of you if you are not careful. Please get involved with a Christian singles group. Many of them have been through the same thing that you have and they can help you.

Answer 9

GOD wants us to forgive because it is an opportunity to experience His grace and mercy. It is difficult to forgive someone who has hurt us deeply, but when we are able to we better understand GOD's forgiving nature and our relationship with GOD grows.

Temptation comes in many forms and usually show us that there are areas in our life that we need to work on to reject those temptations. In order to fight off temptation you must stop it at its source, when it is still a thought in your mind before it can become temptation. This requires a change of heart which Jesus can and will help you.

The temptation you are feeling may be because you are feeling rejected and want someone to accept you. Jesus accepts you as you are, right now.
Hope this helps.
GOD bless

Answer 10

"Being unwilling to forgive is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die," -- heard it on the Oprah show
you made a bad decision, you can be strong and chose to learn from it, you need to take stock in yourself and love yourself.
also you maybe able to get an anulment instead of divorse, sence it was such a short time.