Guys need your advice? with BF issues?

Question

Been with bf for 3 years, when we get intimate its all about his pleasure I can't even pick a position ever?? He always touches the obvious spots on me I need more than get naked insert he's not into fourplay at all its its getting dull, So Question is he just being selfish, or is he not wanting to please me? please any advice will help.

Answer 1

You should discuss it with him. If he does something you like then let him know. The best way not to get what you want is to complain.

Answer 2

He's selfish. But he may be selfish b/c he doesn't know what you really want or how to give it to you. There's a misconception that all guys know all about sex. We don't. We only know what we've experieinced before or what other guys tell us.

And his friends aren't telling him to give you a massage, treat you to oral orgasms or let you take control. Guys without certain instincts don't understand that your desires aren't the same as theirs, that your bodies don't work the same way, and that the whole relationship thing means a completely different thing to you. Plus, if things are good for them, they assume they're good for you too.

You're going to have to break through that dense outer shell and teach him how to treat you. He'll be stunned that sex hasn't been everything you ever wanted b/c it has been for him. You can break it to him gently by making it seem like a new idea to you too so he doesn't feel like the stupid one.

If you get any positive response at all, it shouldn't be too difficult from there. Just keep encouraging him and praising him for things he even tries. Reciprocate with something special that maybe he's been wishing for. Keep it up until he catches on, then work on things like putting down the toilet seat and taking out the garbage. No really, he will need to be led by the hand, literally in some cases.

If there's no flicker of recognition, no sign from him that he cares whether or not you get yours, then you might just have to teach him the hard way. Or truly leave him b/c he's never going to come around. He doesn't have the kind of affection you need. Leave him to try to find some woman that doesn't care either. That's when he'll learn, but it will be too late for you. You'll already be married to a guy who knows where to touch you, and how to make you feel like a fulfilled woman, which is the very least you should have.

Good luck. I hope you can make some "head"way.

Answer 3

I do understand how you feel. I am almost in the same situation like yours. I 've been with my husband for five years and a half. He always the one who is receiving than giving. To me, I don't think he is better lover than I am,just because I love him so I try not to take this issue very serious.But if when I tell him today is my day and he'll make sure I pleased. I know some guys sometimes not into foreplay like us, women take a little bit longer to pleased For them sometimes just 123 then get over with.I don't think your b/f being selfish. But you need sometimes give him compliment if that day he did a good job to encourage him more action the next time.Buy more intimate stuff add to the bed scenes. Being whinnying and put them down are not gonna help. Because you lower their self esteem, and they will not try harder, why make an effort when you not even change what you been thinking about them.

Answer 4

Sounds like the kind of situations you get into when you go shack up with someone and neither of you has a clue about whether you are on the same wave length. Like, let's shack up then decide if we like each other.

Well, in answer to your question, you pick the answer:

1. YOu are so irresistible that when you two are together he cannot restrain himself from your adorable charms

2. He cares nothing for your feelings, don't care about pleasing you, and only likes you because you are a willing receptacle

Repeating it to you should make it clear to you which one is correct. My vote is #2.

Good Luck

Answer 5

if this person is your best friend, you guys wouldn't be in the sack.
But it's a little late for that. If your BF only goes for the buttons and not so much new spots maybe your BF thinks that is what you want. You guys are BF right? This is something you guys should be able to openly discuss. If your BF is not willing to talk about it then you guys aren't as close as you thought. your BF should respect your needs if He \ She is truely your BF then they have already heard your complaints about past lovers and know what you like.

Answer 6

Wow Lady. What a idiot he is. He is missing out big time. He is not only self-centered but is totally uninterested in your feelings and I think he is just using your body as a " glorified blow up Doll". Get rid of this greedy jerk and find a guy who really appreciates a good Lady.

Answer 7

Young guys have to be reminded to remember the girl's pleasure. So remind him. If he continues to ignore it, then sooner or later you're going to get tired of it and move on, and that may be the painful lesson it takes to make him more aware next time. That's one trick older guys have learned - if a gal is nice enough to have sex with you, make SURE she wants to again! he he

Answer 8

It is obvious this guy is not concerned with your needs. I would image this is true outside of the bedroom as well. If you have not tried talking to him yet, you should. If he is not understanding or turns this into a story about himself and his needs you may want to reconsider your relationship with him.
No one should give the gift of themselves to someone who doesn't appreciate it, and isn't willing to do the same in return.

Answer 9

I fell into the same pattern after a while with my last girlfriend. She eventually got pissed and yelled at me for it. I of course changed my ways and got a little more adventurous, whether that meant different times or places or whatever. You should confront him cause it worked when the girl did that to me.

Answer 10

You need to be more dominating. become the seductress, rather than the seductee. Don't let him touch you. You take the top, and hold his hands firmly, but gently over his head. Nibble at his neck, kiss his cheeks, but avoid his lips, make him want it, but just as he goes to kiss your mouth pull away, and go back to his neck, and don't let him roll you over onto your back. Have your way with him, and than let him have his turn the next time, and if he still doesn't "play" than the next time you do it all over again.

I know you said guys only, but I couldn't help myself. :)