should i get married im 2 months pregnant and my boyfriend wants to marry me bc he thinks he is the father but the truth is he may not be. i really love him and i want to marry him but i dont want to marry him knowing he may not be the father. im so scared i dont know what to do. i really need the help of you all. please!!!!!!! im really really really scared.
2007-02-19 16:32:49 · 29 answers · asked by god's child 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
we are young were both 21 but im just amonth older then him.
2007-02-19 16:43:38 · update #1
we are young were both 21 im just a month older than him
2007-02-19 16:44:18 · update #2
the only reason he may not be the father is bc we got drunk and well i you know. only with him and someone else.
2007-02-19 16:48:06 · update #3
Don't let fear keep you from doing the right things in life because I did and I regret it to this very day. Your precious child deserves the best and regardless of anything anyone may say, the truth is the best you can give your baby. You will be blessed for doing the right thing.
Fear is not of God. Have everyone tested and if they don't want to be tested you can have it enforced through Social Services. We all make mistakes, but we don't have to make another mistake on top of the others because of fear of what others think...they won't have to live with the consequences but your child would have to as mine did. Your child deserves to know who her dad is whether or not he/she has a relationship with him when he/she is young. If you can't find out who the father is, your baby always has our heavenly Father and you can and should be the one to introduce your child to Him. He very much loves the fatherless child.
Before you marry anyone you should immediately call a Christian church and speak with the pastor and his wife, you will be so glad you did. Let them help you make the best decisions for both you and your precious child. God loves you both very much.
Regretful for living in fear & hurting my child
Sista C
P.S. I married without knowing the truth & lived in fear. When we split up my precious 9 year old child was drug through courts regarding paternity and she was brokenhearted and I was too late.
2007-02-19 17:57:50 · answer #1 · answered by sista c 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Besides the issue of the pregnancy, I think that 21 is too young to get married. The issue with the pregnancy is even more reason not to complicate matters any further. I am sure you are scared, but you have to be strong. You are going to be a mother and making the RIGHT decisions should begin NOW. First, you need to tell him. Whatever his decision may be, it is only fair to the real biological father, the man you love, and more importantly your little baby. You wouldn't want to fool your child into thinking the man he calls dad, is not actually his father, right? And keeping a secret like this will wear on you for the time you are able to get away with this lie. And for certain, whether you like it or not the truth will somehow find it's way to light. So, lets make this as easy as possible for EVERYONE. Tell him, find out the truth and let all the chips fall where the may, so that you can follow the path that fate has in store for you. It's not going to be easy, but you will be proud of yourself, you will have no shame for being such a stand-up woman, and your child will be grateful his mom was so strong.
2007-02-20 00:54:41 · answer #2 · answered by gg55 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK well! no you should not marry him under false pretenses i have a friend who did this very thing 16 years ago and it has come back to haunt her the other guy came around saw her now 16 year old son who looked alot like him and put 2 and 2 together and stirred up the whole thing so now she was confronted by what she did and her marriage is over and her son is a mess and she is in a huge world of pain and sorrow and so even though it may mean you end up with out your boyfriend its the chance you took when you slept with someone else but you need to be honest and admit your mistake and hope he might forgive you and stay with you but if he does not then its the hard price you will have to pay for your choice and in no way do i mean that to be mean or hurtful and i am not trying to judge you its just reality of your choice and situation and in the end he maybe the father and you can be friends to at least raise your child as a team you might get lucky and he will stick by you and either way your child will have 2 parents but you need to be honest!
2007-02-20 00:44:31 · answer #3 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Slow things down a bit...you do not need to marry this guy right now, or tomorrow or next year for that matter. What you do need to do is get ready for the beautiful child that you are about to bring into this world. Once the baby is born, you should have a paternity test done to find out if he is indeed the father. Once he finds out the results, then he can decide if he wants to be involved in this child's life or in your life. You will have a better idea of where the relationship is going once you find out if he is the father to your child. For now, relax and concentrate on yourself and what you need to do to get ready to be a mother. Enjoy your boyfriend's support and be grateful that he is there by your side, the marriage decisions can wait...Congrats on becoming a new mommy, it is the best!
2007-02-20 02:41:51 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him the truth. Pregnancy is not a good enough reason to get married. If he loves you after he finds out that you ve been cheating and you still want to marry him- go for it. But it is unfair to let someone do the right thing if it is all based on a lie? Why did you cheat on him if you love him so much anyway??? Honey your right to be scared.
Why not take a time out form guys and work on yourself... maybe go to school and become independent. You could be a nurse or work at a salon. You can do anything you want and you can be the best little mommy out there. You don't need a man and you don't have to be scared of being alone because you have that baby now.
I hope that everything works out four you and I hope that this changes from being scary to being exciting.
2007-02-20 00:43:25 · answer #5 · answered by EmmaRoo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, just by you questioning the fact.....says something. You should definitely tell him that there is a possibility that he may not be the father, and go from there. I dont think you should marry him just because he wants to marry you, you should marry him if you love him and know in your heart that you want to be with him for the rest of your life and always have him at your side in everything you do. Marriage is something you should never feel that you are forced into or feel unsure about. All I can say is just really talk to him about everything and then sit back and think about it all before you make the HUGE commitment.
2007-02-20 00:42:21 · answer #6 · answered by michelles_sfa 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You poor sweetheart. You sound quite young. This is a difficult question and there may be some tough answers.
If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy (which may not be the best or only option), you need to have a blood/DNA test for yourself, the baby and the boyfriend who wants to marry you (and presumably support the family).
If he is not the father, you may still be able to marry (but only if he is willing to bring up the child as his adopted child). If he is the father then things should be okay.
2007-02-20 00:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by yutu34 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I personally have never believed the I was drunk and it just happened excuse. Sorry to be blunt and truthful, but that is just he way I am. Should you marry him? No, firstly you have just cheated on him and you aren't even sure who the father is. You need to find out the father first, it isn't fair to the child for (s)he not to who her/his father is. Secondly you need to consider that you have cheated on him recently and what happens if he find out about that or what happens if it happens again. If you are going to get married I would say you best bet of making it last is to have all the cards on the table. I personally after recent events would hold off on marriage till I was good and ready and sure that this is what I actually wanted.
2007-02-20 01:23:04 · answer #8 · answered by ehst76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U should marry him otherwise u will face a big problem as u r 2 months pregnent.In any case u have to get married.Or the other way is to go 4 a test n if u come to know its not his then abort the child n u can plan later.U cant impose somebody's else child on ur partner as long as there is his consent.
2007-02-20 04:38:03 · answer #9 · answered by annie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush into a marriage unless you are sure you want to spend your life with him.
Think about it this way...
Would you still want to marry him if there was no pregnancy? If the answer is no, then don't do it.
Would he still want to marry you?
How will he feel if he marries you and then finds out that he is not the dad? Will he blame you for years to come?
Just because you have created a life does not mean that you need to marry him. Marriage needs to be a support, not a stress. Really think about it before you marry and TALK TO HIM.
2007-02-20 00:47:46 · answer #10 · answered by wedding planner tx 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋