I just got into a disagreement with my father about the way I discilpline my 1 year old daughter. He thinks that I should start disciplining her with a belt, but I don't believe in doing it that way. I believe in other ways until she at least gets old enough to know right from wrong. And I feel like it's my decision on how I discipline my child. Am I doing the right thing?
2007-02-19 15:55:03 · 38 answers · asked by stoney7786 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well I suspect if he feels that way then that's what he did to you. I commend you for realizing it's not right. No child needs a belt used on them at that age or at any age...but that's just my opion.
Ask yourself this question....am I hitting my child because it makes "ME" feel better....if the answer is yes then that is abuse and NOT discipline! Ask your father that question too.
I have a one year old and we NEVER strike her with anything...we tell her no and redirect her to something else....now one day she was trying to kick the cookie tin off the table I told her no and she went right ahead and done...and i mean she knew what she was doing was a 'no no' I took her and set her in the middle of the floor for like 20 seconds and told her it was time out.....time outs are the best way to start.
2007-02-19 16:20:38 · answer #1 · answered by mrs_b40 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Never hit the child,especially a toddler.Yes,it's your right to decide how to discipline your child but do you really think spanking(with or without a belt) is an appropriate way to handle with the problem?Becase spanking doesn't handle with the problem,just punishes the child for the wrong choices.If you make a mistake or a wrong whoice,would you like to be hit?
I'd recomend you that book,I've read it and it's quite helpful for parents - "Positive Discipline for the first three years" by Jane Nelsen.There's their site if you like to take a look - http://positivediscipline.com/
There are at least 10 heavy reasons not to hit your child and a lot more specific reasons.Please,bring up one brave,responsible and happy child,not a scared(from spanking) secretive child.
2007-02-19 18:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by Livia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you are living in your father's home, and he is paying to raise your one year old daughter, he has no right to decide how that child will be disciplined.
It is time to support yourself and your child, so you won't have to rely on that neanderthal of a father.
At the same time, all children need discipline. But at one year of age they are not capable of understanding corporal punishment. They should instead, be led gently away from whatever it is that they are doing wrong, and told "No, hon. We don't do that." And then take their mind off whatever it was by introducing another activity.
Spankings should be reserved for children that are much older than one year of age, and know right from wrong, but that still insist on doing a dangerous thing--like playing russian roulette with a loaded pistol.
Spanking with a belt is never acceptable, at any age, for any reason. That is just physical abuse.
2007-02-19 16:13:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anastasia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right! Your father is definitely mistaken! It may have been different back in the olden days out behind the woodshed but not even back then on a 1 year old child. A 1 year old is still a toddler. If you or anyone else would discipline this little 1 year old precious daughter with a belt, it would be child abuse and it would do damage to her and you could lose her. Please continue to follow your own parenting skills. Your father doesn't know how to raise your daughter.
2007-02-19 16:03:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely without a doubt.
There may not have been laws about that before, but there is now!
You really don't need to yell or even hit to teach discipline. Both of those methods teach not to do things because you are scary. You can also teach not to do things because they may hurt you or someone else...
PLUS: I have a one year old and discipline is REALLY hard at this age. If she is really naughty, she gets a time out in her room (biting, hitting, throwing a screaming fit for no reason, etc), but for 60 seconds, then I tell her that she needs to be a good girl. She says 'good girl' and this works like a charm.
2007-02-19 16:02:00 · answer #5 · answered by TiGeR 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's your child, you should discipline her however you want to. If you don't believe in the belt then don't use it. You are doing the right thing. You're the parent. Your dad is still your dad, but you're old enough to take care of and raise your own child. I personally would never use a belt on my child! Good Luck!
2007-02-19 15:59:36 · answer #6 · answered by Shannon 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am really truly hoping this is a joke.
Disciplining a one year old with a belt makes absolutely no sense. All she will learn is that you are a person who hurts her and can't be trusted. What on earth would even require that much discipline? I have two very spirited girls and I can't imagine what would cause me to take such drastic measures, especially at that age.
If you do hit your child with a belt, it is child abuse and she could be taken away. End of story.
2007-02-19 16:02:34 · answer #7 · answered by Elaine 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the majority of posters, there is no reason to belt a one-year-old EVER (or any other age child, for that matter). Your father is from another generation where that kind of punishment was acceptable, and he needs to realise that times have changed, and that children are now actually considered human beings, who have the right to live without the fear of phyical violence from someone who is supposed to love them.
I just couldn't let this comment from an earlier poster slide:
"They wont learn at that age unless they get a little love swat."
A love swat? That is such a cop-out! Using a cutesy name for hitting a child doesn't make it hurt the child less. Own up and call it what it is!
2007-02-19 17:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by Kristy M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One year is way, way too young to spank with a belt. I used to get the belt or a wooden spoon, (yikes!), but i was a lot older. Only you can decide how to discipline your child. Just make sure you are setting a good example and teaching her right from wrong.
Parents just don't want to see their kids make the same discipline makes they did...ha-ha!! Just kidding
2007-02-19 16:08:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe using the belt on a child in the first place, second of all that will only scare her and push her away from you emotionally. Children cannot understand consequences until they are a few years old and even then they may not still associate the punishment with the wrong action. Stay verbal for now, let her learn the word no and use it only when necessary. As for you father tell him that he raised you right and he should trust in your decisions on how to raise your daughter.
2007-02-19 16:12:11 · answer #10 · answered by tylw85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋