I met a nice, well-educated man online 2.5 yrs ago and at that time we chatted from time to time online and even shared some phone conversations. He seemed to be a very busy individual so I did not initiate further contact with him. We rescently have started talking again via online and the phone (beginning of January) and he is totally into me and says he wants to move to the state I live in and be with me. I am 34 and he is 37. He said he did this one other time with someone when he was in his 20's (met a girl one weekend and moved across country to be with her and was with her for 4 yrs). He is determined to get married and has made it very clear he wants to and wants it to be me! He is flying me out to meet him in person next month...am I crazy? He says if things go well with this meeting he wants to move to my state with intentions to marry me. On top of all this I just got out of a serious relationship less than 2 mnths ago. What do I do?? Any advise would be helpful.
2007-02-19 15:52:28 · 6 answers · asked by Jen1379 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has already been telling me he loves me, etc. Granted it is a breath of fresh air to meet someone that REALLY wants what I do. WOuld it be crazy to allow him to move to where I live (and with me). I have a 13 yr old son. No, he does not HAVE to live with me..but he has made it clear if he moves here it is to be with me and wants to get engaged shortly after he moves here. He has the means to live on his own and is well -educated with a good job and has already been looking for work in the city I live in. He just simply wants to make a life with me and marry me. Just scared it is too fast and I would be making the wrong decision. My last relationship he moved out of state to be closer to his kids and keeps calling and textn and emailing me and doesnt want me to move on. That is pullin at my heart strings as well..but he really hurt me..but I still care for him alot. uuuuggg.I am very confused and I want to be happy and get married though???
2007-02-19 16:06:51 · update #1
Be very cautious... you are vulnerable right now and not thinking clearly yet when it comes to love and relationships, as you haven't yet picked up all the pieces to this last breakup. Plus, this guy is going pretty fast. What's the rush? Go at the pace that really feels comfortable to you. I suggest slowing it down so you have a chance to really come to know each other. Yeah, maybe go visit him, let family/friends know exactly where you're going (including name and phone numbers), when you're going, when you'll be home. Don't give in to sex. Wait it out a few more months at least. Keeps things in proper perspective while you get to know each other. Don't live together for at least a year even if he does end up moving to your town. Get to know each other first.
2007-02-19 16:02:37 · answer #1 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"am I crazy"? I would say most DEFINITELY.
If intends to move to your state, why wouldn't he fly and see you. Why bring you to his place.
Do you know if he's an axe murderer or not.
You planning on doing something crazy like meeting him ALONE?
Was in jail for the last 4 years?
If he did it in his 20's and it didn't work out why would it work with you and why wait 17 yrs later (now that he's 37).
Hellloooo is anybody home!
He'll move to your state? He's not working or he'd quite and live on....what exactly.
Use your head. You're 34 then start acting and thinking like one.
If you really want to meet him have him come to see you and have friends along. You know nothing about this guy. Of all the women in his state he found true love over the Internet with you?
Does that sound reasonable to you?
2007-02-19 16:09:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you want to marry him? If you guys chated online you can never be sure who he is for real. You should at least meet in person and know each other in person very well before marriage comes to the picture. And if you are sure, be sure to act your self, and make sure he knows the real you and make sure you know him better.
2007-02-19 16:05:45 · answer #3 · answered by fatcatcasey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what harm is there in meeting?? yes he is using serious words he is also not asking you to come to him --- meet in public see how the relationship develops and take it from there --- if you enjoy his company you may just decide to marry him in time --- or you might say never speak to me again --- you will never know if you dont take the risk ---- best wishes --- im in a similar situation and i dont have any problem in meeting my lady in her country
2007-02-19 15:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow ur instincts and do what the little voices in your heart tell u
2007-02-19 15:57:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds so crazy it may just work have a go take a chance you sound like you desreve it and you sound like you want to go and enjoy your self trust me go go go go
2007-02-19 15:58:38 · answer #6 · answered by katie r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋