I just heard a good one from Fred Sanford.
"The man who wrote the bible didn't live in this neighborhood. If he did, he would have wrote, 'Loveth thy neighbor but locketh thy windows.'"
Please try to stay halfways tastefull. Thank you in advance.
2007-02-19 15:41:28 · 4 answers · asked by Mr. Bodhisattva 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
From House, M.D. Season 1 Episode 3:
House: [to sick people in waiting room] Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file.
House: This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board... certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will.
House: (to Dr Cuddy) That is true, isn't it?
House: (to sick people) But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me?
{and everyone is still and motionless}
Sorry for the confusing quoting system... I didn't know how else to type it...
Hope this helps!
2007-02-19 16:41:32 · answer #1 · answered by Hayden S. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"and when I close my eyes I see you for what you really are and that is Ugleeeeeeee(ugly)"
Quote taken from "She's the Man" Amanda Bynes.
I think a lot of people fit that category. They may be gorgeous on the outside but superficial, vain, snotty and cruel on the inside. A lot of men and women are like that nowadays. You have found a gem of a friend who is gorgeous on the inside, whether they are model material or Marie Laveau ugly on the outside.
2007-02-20 00:44:09 · answer #2 · answered by concerned 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"You know what the problem is with Hollywood? They make sh*t."
2007-02-19 21:22:12 · answer #3 · answered by Raven1231 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one time at band camp.......
that is my all time favorite one liner!
2007-02-19 16:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by louball81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋