Need Advice of Child Custody?

Question

I was giving Sole Custody of my 10 years ago by NC courts his father has been in and out of his life . Four months ago I moved to MI but still made sure his father got the same amount of PT time he was getting part of christmas and easter break and summers now that we moved he gets the summers and every christmas . He called to tell me that he is taking me back to court in NC for custody again. He doesn't have custody of any of his kids! My son expressed to him that he loves him but he wishes to stay here with me and his brother and sister , Today my son is 11 it is his birthday and his only wish for his birthday is not to be took away from me. I am not a prefect mother it has been alot of trial and error but I have always tried to give my son the best education and love possible and it is breaking my heart inside that he is in pain. His father states that my sons feelings are not important here that he is doing what he feels is best . any advice here to make it easier on my son

I understand your view point and I spoke to a lawyer ( forgive the spelling it is 5 in the morning ) The case is being moved up here I understand the need for a man in my sons life and he has had one . One who cares very much about him. He is a good man someone my son can look up to.I myself never knew my father when I was growing up therefore I aways made sure His father had PT time. We have been planning this move for over two years and his father knew about it he did not have a problem with it until now that he wants custdoy of his other child ( not with me different woman ) I am just tring to make this easier on my son . I asked for a child custdoy investgater to come out also . Now it is time for coffee my eyes are still fuzzy here and I am sure there are mis spelled words :)

Answer 1

Get a good family law lawyer and to find out exactly where you stand legally and what the attorney feels is the likelihood of your ex having any success in gaining custody. As you have had sole custody and your son is now 11, most judges may take
what your son says into consideration but varies from state to state, court to court and judge to judge.

One thing to take into consideration is that the older a boy gets, the more he is going to need his father in his life. It is discouraging to hear that your ex doesn't think his son's feeling in the matter are important...they are really the only thing that does matter.

A better solution, if it is possible, may be just to move back to NC to the same city your ex lives in so you there will be no reason for him to try to seek custody.

I know, not fair to you, but it your son's future and well being at stake and a custody battle puts him in the middle of a no real win situation. I personally would not want to risk (depending on the advise of the attorney and your es's chances of winning) and leaving my son's well being solely in the hands of a man that has already said he doesn't care how my son feels as he will need someone in his life on a regular basis that does-you.

Answer 2

I think the legal aspects of this situation are best explained by a good lawyer. It is true that a son needs a father, not just the influence of a good man. A child is very aware that he has a father (even if he's absent) and a mother. They are the cornerstones of the family. Your son doesn't want to leave and live with his father. I think a judge would take that into consideration.
Maybe you are not a perfect mother (no one is) but you have to be extra vigilant about being the provider of a secure environment. That is also what a judge is going to take into consideration.
Poor kid - he must be worried. I hope that this works out for you but I'm sure with good legal representation, it will.